Clone wars Anakin skywalker Club
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posted by padani53
Master Yoda walked through the meditation garden area of the Temple reaching out with the Force and shuddered against the sadness he felt.
"Skywalker," he whispered and then caught sight of the young Jedi tossing pebbles into the reflective pool at the base of a small waterfall.
"Glad to have found you, young one," the ancient Master sinabi as he hopped up onto a rock near where Anakin was sitting.
Anakin looked up and at first Yoda thought he saw tears on the young human's face but it was just the mist from the waterfall.
"Much sadness you feel."
"Yes...it's my fault she...died."
"No Anakin, it is not."
"I should've been allowed to paghahanap for her, Master Yoda, but..."
"..other duties you had," the old Jedi finished for him.
"Yes..and now she's....gone."
Anakin placed his hands over his face and turned away.
"Your fault it is not. Risk is a part of every Jedi's life."
Anakin lifted his face from his hands.
"I'm her Master! It's my duty to watch out for her, to take care of her."
"Yes...Ahsoka had learned much. Strong she was in the Force. Taught her well you had. She gave her life to save others."
"That doesn't make me feel any better, Master."
Yoda got down from the rock and stood in front of Anakin. He placed a wrinkled hand on Anakin's prosthetic arm.
"Grieve, you must."
"No!"
"Yes, young one, you must. Forget Ahsoka, you will not. Memories in your puso you will carry of her. Broken is your puso right now, but her memories will help you heal."
"I..miss her," Anakin whispered his voice catching in a sob.
"Go rest," Yoda sinabi as he patted Anakin's arm, "You are very tired. Go rest, young Skywalker."
"I"m going for a walk. Maybe that will make me feel better," Anakin sinabi as he stood up.
Yoda just smiled at him.
Anakin walked through the Temple's hallways and came upon the mess hall. He looked into the doorway and saw Masters Aayla Secura and Luminara Unduli sitting conversing with O-Mer and Jinx who were now rested and cleaned up.
Both Masters saw him in the doorway and gestured to him to come inside.
"Come sit with us, Anakin," Aayla sinabi seeing how tired and sad he looked.
"Yes, come sit," Luminara answered,"We are so sorry about Ahsoka."
Anakin just looked at her and felt a lump form in his throat at the older Jedi's expression of sympathy.
"It's my fault," he sinabi placing his hands over his face.
Luminara patted his arm figuring he was crying but was surprised to see him dry-eyed when he took his hands away. There was a deep sadness in his eyes that seemed to be eating away at him.
"It was an unfortunate accident," Aayla sinabi as she moved to sit on the other side of him, "It's not your fault."
"Yes, it is."
O-Mer and Jinx watched the interaction between the Jedi Masters and Anakin and felt the pain of Ahsoka's passing all over again.
"Anakin, you can't blame yourself for something that was beyond your power."
"I should've gone to look for her but I couldn't! She would still be alive if I had searched for her!"
Aayla patted his arm.
"What's done, is done," she said,"Ahsoka is gone, You have to let her go, but it doesn't mean you can't feel sad about her death."
"No...," Anakin sinabi as he layed his head on the table, his face buried in the sleeve of his dark tunic.
Luminara leaned pasulong and put an arm around his shoulders figuring he was about to cry. She felt him trembling.
"You are allowed to cry, Anakin. Ahsoka was not only your Padawan, but your friend too."
Anakin raised his head up and there were no tears just the expression of loss. He glanced over at O-Mer and Jinx.
"Jinx," Anakin sinabi as he stood up,"Do you and O-Mer want to go for a walk? I'd really like the company."
Both younglings smiled relieved that Anakin didn't blame them for Ahsoka's death. He wasn't alot older than either of them. They left the mess hall.
Aayla and Luminara watched them go sensing the sadness, anger, denial and guilt Anakin was feeling.
"I hope he'll be alright during the memorial in two days," Aayla sinabi to Luminara.
"Anakin is strong but he needs to let himself grieve for Ahsoka. They had a strong bond, the strongest I've ever seen," Luminara answered,"It will be hard for him for awhile, but I know I'll help him through it and so will Barriss."
"I hope he will cry eventually," Aayla added,"The sadness is eating away at him and he's starting to get sick with the grief."
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