House M.D. Club
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posted by HousesCane
House and Cuddy are sitting in a room with a person interviewing them about their lives in the hospital.


Interviewer: What is your job here?

Cuddy: I'm the dean of medicine.

House: I'm the head of the diagnostic department.

Interviewer: And what do you do in that position?

Cuddy: I run the hospital and keep House from getting into trouble.

House: I save lives.

Interviewer: How hard is your job on a scale from 1-10?

Cuddy: A 10.

House: With or without Vicodin?

Interviewer: Dr. House, please answer the question.

House: Answer mine first.

Interviewer: Do you usually take Vicodin?

House: Yes.

Interviewer: Then with Vicodin.

House: Well, everyday is different. It varies.

Cuddy: Just answer the damn tanong so we can get this over with!

House: Fine, uhhh, roughly 7.8.

Interviewer: OK. Dr. House, it says here that you have been to rehab. May I ask for what?

House: Yes you may.

Interviewer: So?

House: Heroin relapse. Tragic really.

Cuddy: House, stop playing and just tell him!

Interviewer: Tell me what?

House: It was the Vicodin. I was hallucinating.

Interviewer: But you're still taking Vicodin?

House: Yeah, hallucinations help me think.

Interviewer: Is he serious?

Cuddy: He's never serious. He fine now, no madami hallucinations.

Interviewer: Then why do you still take it?

House: To help my pain! Why else would I take it!

Interviewer: What pain?

House: My leg! Are you blind or retarded! I walk with a cane!

Interviewer: Dr. Cuddy, it says here you have a three-year-old daughter. How do you manage to take care of her and a hospital at the same time?

House: She can do anything with an asno like that.

Interviewer: I didn't ask you the tanong Dr. House.

House: And I didn't ask to answer these damn questions!

Interviewer: You two have had a relationship. How was it?

Cuddy: It was a big mistake but I enjoyed every minuto of it.

House: What kind of tanong are these?

Interviewer: Please answer the question.

House: It was great...until she ripped my puso out and stomped it to hell.

Cuddy: I did not!

House: Oh please, I was trying to cope with you dying and you dumped me! That's a huge asong babae move!

Cuddy: I'm done here. (Attempts to walk away.)

House: See, you have to leave because you can't face the facts!

Interviewer: What facts?

House: That she captured my puso and threw it away like a retarded Pokemon.

Cuddy: (In tears.) I'm so sorry. I didn't try. I regret it so much.

House: Then why don't you get back together with me.

Cuddy: I don't know. I'm scared.

House: Scared of what?! Love?! Cuddy, I pag-ibig you.

Cuddy: I pag-ibig you too.

Interviewer: So you two are back together?

(They look at each other for a moment then say in unison) Yeah.

Interviewer: Good, my work here is done.

House: What?

Interviewer: Dr. Wilson hired me to pose as an interviewer. I'm actually a therapist.

House: Thank you Wilson.

(House and Cuddy kiss)


OH THAT WILSON!

The End.
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I'm proud of this chapter!

House’s Head and Wilson’s Heart.


For as long as the road didn’t change, House didn’t care… around him, araw and night could’ve changed a thousand times, but he only cared about the white stripes on the pavement:

Followed them where they bent and silently obeyed where the markings changed: he was blind to the world around him… the only thing he saw were those stripes:

He went left where they went left and right where they did, too… he had no sense of direction, no obvious destination either.

Changing winds, storms and even blizzards could’ve passed like...
continue reading...
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