The Six Unspeakables Club
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posted by Mrs-Grint
OK, I was just ranting on to Izzy about the horrors of prefects. And I thought I'd better let off my steam sa pamamagitan ng writing. I shall sort the prefects into categories. From the twee and wet, to the pure evil demon spawn.

Here is the rating system, done sa pamamagitan ng JCA (John Cabot Academy) school:
X = Harmless/Kind/Occasionally can be quite fun/ will never hand out detentions
XX = Competent student should cope/annoying/no sense of humour/won't give out detentions
XXX = Dodgy/very annoying/only an expert should cope/will give out minor punishments
XXXX = Dangerous/will give out pagkatapos ng paaralan detentions
XXXXX = Known student killer/will call parents/ will give out detentions/has the power to suspend/pure evil demon spawn/Miss gawing kalokohan Junior

The Alice Prefect
JCA Rating: X
Here, we have the especially rare Alice species of prefects. So named because the only Alice prefect is a sweet girl called Alice Newton. This breed of prefect is usually kind, sweet, calm and collected. They'll usually let you off for most trivial little things. Which is good, but unfortunately, the only Alice prefect known in existence is leaving my school soon and then the whole species will be extinct. :( Found in the library.

The "If-You're-Talking-You're-Doing-It-Wrong" Prefect
JCA Rating: XXX
This breed of prefect has flourished much madami than the Alice and is MUCH madami annoying. They give a high-pitched call, that sounds like "If you're talking, you're doing it wrong," hence the name. Though it has skill in royalling pissing students off, it is highly mimicked in the waterhole and doesn't have much effect. Found in various corners of the school, waiting to pounce.

The Hater Prefect
JCA Rating: XX
The Hater is the typical sort of emo prefect. Usually known as "the grumbler", "who let THAT in", "Kill it, kill it NOW!" the Hater is the sort who you can obviously see HATES students. The Hater only mixes with other prefects and will smarm up to the teachers and even sit susunod to them in the canteen. Possibly this is the most common breed of prefect, nevertheless a sickly bunch indeed. Found behind the bikesheds or in the staff room.

The Oompah Loompah Prefect
JCA Rating: XXXX
Do not judge sa pamamagitan ng the amusing/harmless-sounding name of this prefect, they are deadly. Named for seeming weak, small etc, but having tremendous power. Perhaps the second-most evil prefect in existence, you do not want to get in the way of this breed. Found in staff rooms, the canteen, etc, etc.

The "Eh?" Prefect
JCA Rating: XX
This prefect is nothing to be bothered about, really. Since they are constantly zoned out/plugged into a music device/doing homework/stoned/hungover/doing something completely walang tiyak na layunin to even pay attention to you. The least they will do is give you a dirty look if you're too noisy. Found behind the bikesheds and in the restricted section of the aklatan (otherwise known as the Sixth Form balcony).

The Renesmee Prefect
JCA Rating: XXXXX
The most dangerous prefect of them all. Known to kill students and hide the dead bodies in their lockers, this breed will do anything to get the students into trouble with fearsome Fudge, the assistant principal. These particular prefects are so close to gawing kalokohan that they have the power to suspend and even have a say in the expulsion of students. These are the kind that'll yell "MISS BOWLES! Late again, I see. Where IS your beret, girl?! That'll be another detention-- don't bother answering back or that'll be even madami detention! You want to bad mouth me? Then that's cloakroom duty as well! DON'T YOU DARE ROLL YOUR EYES! Twenty-five misconduct marks already this term, isn't Miss Bowles? We'll take those points off the Mercury scoreboard... wait here whilst I get Miss Fudge.... DON'T RUN AWAY FROM ME!!" You get the idea. Found in the Sixth Form common room/toilets/canteen/sports hall/ the grounds... EVERYWHERE!!