bella: edward we need to talk.................................................
edward: go ahead we have got all the time in the world.
bella: ok but i don't think your gunna like it.
edward: whats wrong
bella: its nothing really but i do have to say i don't pag-ibig you and i never have. the only reason why i married you was cuz you have lots of money and cuz i wanted to be a vampire. now i have got that i don't need you anymore.
Edward: don't leave me.
bella: i have to cuz jacobs waiting for me in the car.
edward: thats my car
bella: buy a new one
bella: i am also taking renesmee with me. goodby edward. and thanks for the car
edward:noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. not the car
bella: hu hum i sinabi goodbuy edward
edward: o sorry goodbuy bella.
and so bella, renesmee and jacob lived happily ever after
edward: go ahead we have got all the time in the world.
bella: ok but i don't think your gunna like it.
edward: whats wrong
bella: its nothing really but i do have to say i don't pag-ibig you and i never have. the only reason why i married you was cuz you have lots of money and cuz i wanted to be a vampire. now i have got that i don't need you anymore.
Edward: don't leave me.
bella: i have to cuz jacobs waiting for me in the car.
edward: thats my car
bella: buy a new one
bella: i am also taking renesmee with me. goodby edward. and thanks for the car
edward:noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. not the car
bella: hu hum i sinabi goodbuy edward
edward: o sorry goodbuy bella.
and so bella, renesmee and jacob lived happily ever after
10. Ask about Mike.
9. Ask about Eric.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward – the honeymoon.
And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?
1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Videotape the reaction.
Source: link
9. Ask about Eric.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward – the honeymoon.
And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?
1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Videotape the reaction.
Source: link
Danie turned into a blob of mansanas sauce, then shape-shifted back into a human. "There" She said.
"Hey Erin! So I see you got my text."
"Yeah! Congrats! You have to tell me all about this Parick."
"No, you tell me about you being part of the Volturi."
"How did you know?"
"Well me being a vamp and everything, I get one power which is shape-shifting."
"What does that have to do with it?"
"Oh nothing I just needed to tell you."
"Ok, how did you find out?"
"Your friend Alice told me."
"Oh,ok. Yeah, so you know my dad is Aro and my little sister is Jane."
"I didn't even know that!" Alice said."Why didn't you tell me?"
"I wasn't ready to yet."
"Erin, you are my best friend; I tell you everything, you should tell me the same."
"Ok,sorry."
"It's fine. Now come on, let's go shopping for your friend's big day."
"Ok, let's go."
Two hours later, Alice, Erin, and Danie were still roaming around when they found the "perfect dress".
"Hey Erin! So I see you got my text."
"Yeah! Congrats! You have to tell me all about this Parick."
"No, you tell me about you being part of the Volturi."
"How did you know?"
"Well me being a vamp and everything, I get one power which is shape-shifting."
"What does that have to do with it?"
"Oh nothing I just needed to tell you."
"Ok, how did you find out?"
"Your friend Alice told me."
"Oh,ok. Yeah, so you know my dad is Aro and my little sister is Jane."
"I didn't even know that!" Alice said."Why didn't you tell me?"
"I wasn't ready to yet."
"Erin, you are my best friend; I tell you everything, you should tell me the same."
"Ok,sorry."
"It's fine. Now come on, let's go shopping for your friend's big day."
"Ok, let's go."
Two hours later, Alice, Erin, and Danie were still roaming around when they found the "perfect dress".