Pilot
Tori: Let's see, the tinapay mold.
Ian: tinapay mold.
Tori: Furry.
Ian: Furry.
Tori: Mushy.
Ian: Mushy.
Tori: [a little less than excited] Next, the isda mold.
Ian: isda mold.
Tori: Spongy.
Ian: Spongy.
Tori: Stinky.
Trina: I AM SO UPSET! You won't believe who I got partnered with for the big showcase.
Tori: Who?
Trina: Andrew Harris, A tenth grader!
Ian: What's the big showcase?
Tori: It's a performance they put on at her school "every" taon where they...
Trina: [cutting in] They invite agents and directors and producers and other super powerful people in showbusiness and it's extremely important to me, which is why I am very upset, and [dramatically] goooooodbyeeeee.

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Lane: Whoa, whoa! She can't go on stage wearing that!
Tori: Excuse me?!

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Cat: My name's Cat.
Tori: Like the animal!
Cat: What's that supposed to mean?!
Tori: Nothing! I...I pag-ibig cats.
Cat: Oh, me too! They're so cute. [walks off]

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André: This school's not normal.
Tori: Really?
André: You're not normal either. I've seen what you can do on stage. You're special. You're fantastic. You belong at this school. [starts to walk off, then looks at her again] Normal's boring. [Cat shows up]
Cat: It's true!
Tori: That normal's boring?
Cat: No, that no one asked me to the prom.

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Tori: Please go take a shower.
Jade: Quit telling me what to do.
Beck: Relax, girls. Let's all try to get along.
Cat: Totally!
Sikowitz: [makes a buzzing noise] Cat, your line had to start with the letter S.
Cat: Oh, my life's the worse!
Sikowitz: Here's a piece of candy.
Cat: Yay! I pag-ibig candy! [gets off stage, takes the kendi and sits susunod to Robby]
Sikowitz: All right. André, letter "S" to you.
André: Uh, something just bit my toe!
Tori: Turtle! That pagong just bit his toe!
Jade: mahirap paniwalaan that you're even here.
Beck: Very immature of you to say that.
André: Uh-
Sikowitz: Come on, André! W!
André: What if the pagong bit my toe bone?
Tori: X-rays are the only way to find out.
Jade: You should shut up.
Beck: Zap! I just healed your toe with my magic finger.
André: Thanks.
Sikowitz: [makes a buzzing noise] André, your line had to start with a letter A. Get out!
André: [gets off stage] Aw, I just got my toe bone fixed. [sits down]
Sikowitz: Tori, letter "A" to you.
Tori: Aliens are the ones that can heal toes sa pamamagitan ng finger zapping.
Jade: sa pamamagitan ng the way, [blows a prambuwesas at Tori].
Tori: [rolls her eyes]
Beck: Correct, I am an alien.
Tori: [gasps]
Sikowitz: Ooh, a twist!
Tori: Don't hurt me! Please?
Jade: Even though she's extremely annoying!
Beck: Fainting...'cause I can't breathe...your Earth's air. [falls dramatically on the ground]
Tori: Gosh, it fainted!
Sikowitz: Excellent! Tori and Jade, keep going! The susunod letter's H!
Jade: uy why don't you jump over that cliff over there?
Tori: I think you should.
Jade: Just where did you come from?
Tori: Kangaroos.
Jade: Lousy animals, kangaroos. They're awkward and dirty.
Tori: Maybe they've learned from you.
[The class oohs and gasps in astonishment.]

Jade: [shocked] No one talks to me like that.
Tori: Obviously someone should.
Jade: Please run in front of a bus!
Tori: Quite obnoxious of you to say.
Jade: Really?
Tori: Sure was.
Jade: Thanks!
Tori: Up your nose I see boogers.
Jade: Very clever.
Tori: Wish you thought of that?
Jade: X marks the spot I'd like to punch! [points her finger at Tori]
Tori: Your finger smells weird!
Jade: Zero is what you are on a scale from one to ten.
Sikowitz: And back to the letter A!
Tori: As if I care what you think!
Jade: Better watch yourself.
Tori: Can't take it?
Jade: Don't push me!
Tori: Eat your pants!
Jade: No you eat your pants! [realizes what she said] Wait!
Sikowitz: [makes a buzzing noise] Sorry Jade! The susunod letter was-
Jade: F! I KNOW! [turns angrily at Tori then walks off and sits down]
Beck: [beginning to wake up]
André: Hey, the alien's moving!
Sikowitz: Keep this thing going!
Tori: Get up alien! [helps Beck up]
Beck: Head feels dizzy.
Tori: I know what will make you feel better.
Jade: [raises her eyebrows]
Beck: Jumping jacks?
Tori: halik me.
Jade: [sits up]
Beck: Little weird. Let's do it.
[Tori and Beck halik and the class claps.]

Tori: Man, I pag-ibig this school