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posted by x-menobsessed26
Application For Permission To petsa My Daughter
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied sa pamamagitan ng a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical ulat from your physician.


Name:
petsa of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
GPA:
Social Security Number:
Driver's License Number:
Boy Scout Rank:
Telephone:
tahanan Address:
City:
State:
Zip:



Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:



Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers or sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____


Do you own or have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____


Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____


Do you have a tattoo? ____

If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.


In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?





In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?





In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?





In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?





Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________

How often do you attend: ____________________________


When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________



Please fill in the blanks:


If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________


If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________


A woman's place is in the ____________________________


The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________


When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised





What do you want to be if you grow up?





I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________

Signature of father _____________________________________

Signature of mother ____________________________________

Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________

Signature of State Representative _________________________



Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in Pagsulat if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.
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Source: Various websites
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added by stickymonkey
Source: google
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Source: http://icanhascheezburger.com/page/2/
added by xSHOCKYx
posted by Trainofdoom
Hello everybody this is a short rant about grammar. I have been seeing a LOT of these mistakes. normally I wouldn't care about such petty errors but en masse they really drive me insane.

They're=THEY ARE;They're going to the park.
Their= Group Possessive;It's their money
There=location/thing; Is there anything we can do?

Your=Possessive; Your cat is white.
You're=YOU ARE. You are late to class.

Sorry I went elementary school teacher/Grammar Nazi on your collective illiterate asses but I just felt the need to reinstate some level of intelligence back to this club.


That is all.
added by loonybug
added by edwardcarlisle
Source: K-9
added by hetalianstella