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DEMENTED POEMS

mga rosas are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

mga rosas are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

mga rosas are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And ipakita me your tits

mga rosas make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And you pag-ibig it up the shitter

mga rosas are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

mga rosas are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

mga rosas are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

mga rosas are shit
Violets are crap
ipakita me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

mga rosas are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And lunok it down

mga rosas are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
added by violoct
Source: fun
added by _Gloved1_
added by zombiestars
added by Tamar20
added by Darkshine
added by NomyCake
Source: AngelzFunnys.com
added by iFly_12
posted by Bluekait
Your butt is wide, well mine is too
Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you
The word is out, better treat me right
'Cause I'm the king of cellulite
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right

My zippers bust, my buckles break
I'm too much man for you to take
The pavement cracks when I fall down
I've got madami chins than Chinatown

Well, I've never used a phone booth
And I've never seen my toes
When I'm goin' to the movies
I take up seven rows

Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on
(Fat, fat, really, really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it
(Fat, fat, really, really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come...
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posted by Nein-Nein
Aokigahara (青木ヶ原?), also known as the Sea of Trees (樹海 Jukai?), is a 35-square-kilometre (14 sq mi) forest that lies at the northwest base of Mount Fuji in Japan.
The forest has a historic association with demons in Japanese mythology and is a popular place for suicides , The forest is a popular place for suicides, reportedly the most popular in Hapon and segundo in the world after San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge. Statistics vary, but what is documented is that during the period leading up to 1988, about 100 suicides occurred there every year.
In 2002, 78 bodies were found within...
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A comedic spin on pop culture Bampira and scary pelikula in general, tells the story of three teens who believe their new babysitter is a real bloodsucking creature of the night -- and it's now up to them to rid their sleepy little town of the menace.

I pag-ibig this show, and for the parent freaking out over it being "inappropriate" they have a time on Disney channel for kids it goes to noon. Shouldn't be that hard to avoid a ipakita that airs late, and its not obscene, and she wasn't "making out" with anyone It was a peck like everything else on Disney. Do yourself a favor and switch to Disney.

Anyway I pag-ibig this show! So no I guess its not only children that watch the Disney channel. I pag-ibig the characters. It's interesting and funny, I pag-ibig that its not a typical Disney comedy and I pag-ibig that there's no annoying laughter in the background! Anyway I recommend it :)
THIS IS NOT MINE. I got it from Tumblr. x)

The following is an actual tanong ibingiay on a unibersidad of Washington Chemistry mid-term:

The answer sa pamamagitan ng one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First,...
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O-
-heartbeats-
















OW!!!!!!!!!



Shake a chicka.

Ah

As they came into the voodoo
There was sound out...
Like a sheepdog.
He can make up your apartment.
He let the buck stay
On the carpet.
Sharon ate upon the table.
Makin' sushi... was a navel.
So she rented out the bedroom...
She was struck down...
By a centipede.

Annie are you walking?
So, Annie are you walking?
Are you walking Annie?
Annie are you walking?
So, Annie are you walking?
Are you walking?
Annie are you walking?
-screams- SO, ANNIE ARE YOU WALKING???!!!!
ARE YOU WALKING ANNIE??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dramatic choir:
Annie are you walking?
With your dentist
Are...
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I was scrolling across deviantART, and came across this HIGHLY shocking news that everyone needs to know about right now!

We all know about copyright infringement and the numerous laws preventing us from using copyrighted material. Some sites and companies take these things very seriously if you do not have permission from sinabi company. But there are sites and companies that's only ask that you give credit where credit is due. Thankfully like DA.

Now, over the past few days I have just been strolling thru the Internet, visiting some of my fav sites to chill on, and every site has been posting...
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posted by smileypop9
Million has 6 zeros
Billion has 9 zeros
Trillion has 12 zeros
Quadrillion has 15 zeros
Quintillion has 18 zeros
Sextillion has 21 zeros
Septillion has 24 zeros
Octillion has 27 zeros
Nonillion has 30 zeros
Decillion has 33 zeros
Undecillion has 36 zeros
Duodecillion has 39 zeros
Tredecillion has 42 zeros
Quattuordecillion has 45 zeros
Quindecillion has 48 zeros
Sexdecillion has 51 zeros
Septendecillion has 54 zeros
Octodecillion has 57 zeros
Novemdecillion has 60 zeros
Vigintillion has 63 zeros
Googol has 100 zeros.
Centillion has 303 zeros (except in Britain, where it has 600 zeros)
Googolplex has a googol of zeros
Gazillion has 86430 zeros
---------------------------
(CREATED sa pamamagitan ng RAE RI, NOT ME)

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.


Chuck Norris can alisin the Recycling Bin.


Ghosts are actually caused sa pamamagitan ng Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.


Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.


Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.


Chuck Norris once had a puso attack; his puso lost.


Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on; he turns the dark off.


The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.


Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.


When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters; not even a mirror is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries. (silvaze9)
INTRO-
She sings the songs that she learns from
Jen and all the cool girls
She doesn't know what they mean
But she doesn't really have a care in the world

PRE-
She turn red then she turned redder
What was so funny?
They whispered fierce words about her
She fakes a smile
Pictures the snickers with laughture

CHORUS1-
I said,
Why do you always go on?
I got a grip on reality finally
But why should I hold on?
This is too hard for me.
They said;
Didn't your mama ever tell ya?
I thought she'd taught ya well but
You're livin life in a fantasy
Why'd you treat your life like a dream?

VS1-
She skipped over to the 4th pew
in...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
If you tied buttered mag-ihaw to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What happens if you open it somewhere else?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something sa pamamagitan ng car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something sa pamamagitan ng ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little...
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Just something I want to experiment with.. Even though it's not October it is kinda Halloweeny...



10: Jack the Ripper:
Let's start with then obvious for a listahan like this, the guy who disemboweled and probably dissected prostitutes, while also Pagsulat taunting letters to police. If you heard of Black Dalia, well this guy did this too 'all' his victims. And as the story goes, he was never found..


9: Jane Topper:
To me there was always disturbing about "Jolly Jane", the nurse was suppose to help people but instead poisons them, and worse still, lies with them as they died. Apparently for sexual...
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I thought I could protect you
From paying for my sins
And I've been walking this earth
Long enough, that death's a gift
(Ohhhh girl)

Been living this life so patient
Until I see you again
It's war we're facin'
I know that if I die
My only choice is still defending

No matter what they say
My pag-ibig for you is
greater than their powers
And their armies from above

You give me strength
I'm with you either way
If I die
If I stay
Give me strength
I'm with you either way
Nothing's lost
No madami pain
Just give me strength

The scars and the wounds
I wear them proud like tattoos
Reminds me that I Nawawala you
Reminds that I'll be
Living...
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