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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my listahan of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let you know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything or eating anything you might spit it or something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the walis late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baya they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's paborito vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the kabute have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do you call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do you make an octopus giggle ten times?
You give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do you make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's paborito composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between you and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't you hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher sinabi it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the kamatis blush?
It saw the salad dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do you know if it's raining Pusa and dogs?
You step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do you know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do you get pikachu on a bus?
You pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't you dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton tumawid the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's kulay-rosas and fluffy?
kulay-rosas fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
kulay-rosas fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when you drink 7 coca colas?
You burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the isda say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't you trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope you liked them. Make sure you check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
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We are never getting back together-TAYLOR SWIFT

I remember when we broke up the first time
Saying this is it, I've had enough, 'cause like
We hadn't seen each other in a month
When you, sinabi you, needed space, what?
Then you come around again and say
Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change
Trust me, remember how that lasted for a day
I say, I hate you, we break up, you call me, I pag-ibig you

Oooh we called it off again last night
But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you
We are never ever ever getting back together
We are never ever ever getting back together
You go talk to your mga kaibigan talk...
continue reading...
The clock strikes ten
Out on the streets again
I been looking for something to please me since I don't know when
Out on the dark side of town
Another rumble's gone down
And life on the high side isn't what this boy’s about

She's got something I want man, it's something I need
It takes madami than a night to satisfy me

I stand accused
I can always run to you
Any road that you choose
I can always run to you
I stand accused
I can always run to you
I run to you
Baby, I can always run

To a puso of chrome
And a soul of steel
We've done madami white lines than you'll know any one we could steal
And when I give her the...
continue reading...
I've been lied to and you been cheated
I've been cried to, you been mistreated
I've been watching you, you want action
You need pag-ibig and I need satisfaction

I'm burning for love
Filled with desire
I can't stand the heat
And my heart's on fire
I can't get enough (Burning love)
It's down to the wire
I'm making my move, I'm looking for you
I'm burning for love

You're the victim it's in your eyes
I'm the suspect and love's the crime
Tensions mounting bodies aching
I can't take the anticipation

I'm burning for love
I’m filled with desire
I can't stand the heat
And my heart's on fire
I can't get enough (Burning love)...
continue reading...
Eve Dipalo stared up at the brick building. It looked the same but it felt so different, so... weird... "oof!" Someone pushed Eve aside and ran off into the school. Eve was about to say something, but she thought better of it. Besides, who would even listen to her of all people? She sighed and pushed open the doors to the school.

Right when she walked in she felt out of place. She pulled a piece of white paper from her backpack's side pocket and studied it. She walked over to one of the bright red 7th grade lockers and glanced back down at the paper to check her combination. she tried her...
continue reading...
posted by LizzyTheCat
Hold on to me, pag-ibig
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was
I pag-ibig you and I'm not afraid, oh

Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight

I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow puno
(Come and find me)

I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight

Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams...
continue reading...