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posted by mercedes_xoxoxo
1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that simply reply “Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Dress up like L (Death Note) and walk in with no shoes.

6. If your teacher asks “why aren’t you wearing shoes” you reply sa pamamagitan ng standing on the table, pointing at him/her and yelling “YOUR KIRA!!!!!!!!!!!”.

7. (Back to normal clothes) Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream “ THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!!!”

8. Flick pieces of paper around the class.


9. When your teacher tells you to stop, tumawid your arms and say “your racist against paper aren’t you.”

10.Don’t do your Homework.

11. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework say “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” then smile and sit.

12. When you have a sub, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name it Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say “PROVE IT!”

13.During a test, raise your hand and wait for your teacher to walk over to you. Then when they whisper, “what do you need help on?” you smirk and whisper “I know what you did last summer” XD (A/n: gets them every time!!!!)

14. Wear your Sasuke costume to school.

15.When he/she stares at you, say “I know what your thinking, but this symbol on my back does not mean I’m a pokemon,”

16. 5 minutos after saying that throw a poke ball at your teachers head and scream “ GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL!!!!!!!”

16. Accuse him/her of being Itachi Uchiha. Then give them a paranoid, bloodthirsty look.

17. (Back in normal clothes) hand kendi out to everyone then walk up to your teacher and say “HA! None for you =P that’s payback for that F!” >D

18. Be Tardy. When your teacher asks why you were late say “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears. :D

19. When turning in a paper, write this paper will self destruct in 5 segundos and the bottom.


20. When you leave the class bow and say “May the force be with you, young one.”

21. ipakita up to class (now they got to do their job XD SUCKERS!)

22. Everytime the PA comes on act surprised and scream “NO NOT THE VOICES AGAIN! MAKE THEM STOP!!!!!!”

23. Every time the morning announcements start look around the rooms ceiling and say “GOD? It that you?!?!”

24. Whisper to the person susunod to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream “OMG GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!”

25. When its time for the pledge of allegiance, while everyone says it, yell out walang tiyak na layunin things (Pickle, pepto bismol, abortion, cow, etc.) and mess everyone up.

26. Walk into class dancing the Macarena.

27. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the teachers lounge.

28. During an exam, act like you need help really badly. (wave to the teacher, say psssst a lot, jump in your seat, act like your trying to land a plane etc.)

29. When you graduate, hug your teacher and say, “I’M GONNA MISS YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

30. When you’re an adult, look up your old teacher in a phone book. Then go to their house in the middle of the night. Sneak up sa pamamagitan ng their bed, Give him/her a twisted and demented look and say “Heh….I’m back….MUAHAHAHA!”

31.Everytime she/he says 'who' correct her to say 'whom' even if its incorrect

32.Speak like Yoda

33.Correct her/him whenever she says 'good' instead of 'well'

34.Speak and write only in Pig Latin - claim it is your native language

35.Raise your hand and say "I totally agree" after everything your teacher says

36.Come late to class in a Spider-Man cosume, say there was "a disturbance"

37.Ask if why she asks tanong if she "supposedly" knows the answer.

38.Tell her you know shakespeare personally, and her/his interpretations are wrong

39.when the teacher turns to write on the board, throw paper or rubbers at them

40.When the teacher says to “take a seat”, you answer “take it where”.

41.When the teacher calls your name at roll call, you answer “Absent

42.If you so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.

43.Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it

44.Fold your homework into a paper airplane and fly it to the teacher’s desk. Extra points if it hits the teachers head

45.Argue with your teacher about your test grade and claim it was supposed to be one or two points higher than it actually is.

46.Use crayon for important assignments

47.When possible, eat pagkain in class. Loud, crunchy food

48.Write so small on your paper that the teacher can barely read it.

49.Blurt out the sagot to the teachers questions

50.Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on you, look innocent and say “I was just stretching”.

51.. When the teacher says “Pay attention please” reply “how much should I pay?”

52.Right after the teacher gives directions say “huh”.

i got a lot of these from jus copyinqq +& pastinqq so dont give mehh alL the credit!!
posted by kitkat709477
1.everyone around you has an attitude problem
2.your adding tsokolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything you say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive you crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and you just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to manuntok someone without a reason
12.if you start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if you were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give you 10

a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so you know*
posted by HNismyfriend
Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. While touring a reservation during the documentary she was puzzled as to why the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses. So she asked a bravo who only had one feather in his headdress, and his reply was: "Only have one woman: one woman, one feather."

Feeling the first fellow was only joking, she asked another brave. This bravo had two feathers in his headdress. And he replied: "Me have two women: two women, two feathers."

Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of sexual partners involved,...
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posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that you just wanna manuntok in the face , then someohow , you end up in a relationship with them , you fall in pag-ibig , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing you want to burn either (:]) Well if you still have feelings for that person im gonna help you get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap you guys (: , ohk so you could first start off sa pamamagitan ng doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave you on apoy ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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If you’re an animal lover, like me, this story might be to much to take. But I can’t believe people can be so cruel. But I believe that when someone abuses a poor defenseless animal, that someone should be ibingiay LIFE in prison without the possibility or parole.

A Mesa, Arizona man who killed a 6-week-old kitten after a pet sawa refused to eat it was ibingiay three years of supervised probation on Friday.

Jeremy Tuffly, 29, pleaded guilty May 11 in Maricopa County Superior Court to one count of cruelty to animals, a Class 6 felony, court records show.

The charge followed after Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies learned of a DVD ipinapakita Tuffly repeatedly throwing the kitten at the sawa in 2002 in an attempt to get the snake to attack it, according to MCSO.

When the sawa failed to eat the kitten, Tuffly kicked it across the yard, authorities previously said. The kitten then died.
okay here`s some tips for those who dont know how to date.....
1- be always self confident , have some self a steam .
2- be always c00l.
3- turn off ur cellphone during the date...always.
4-be always happy, happy with everything..with ur life.
5- if u really want him as ur bf or date.....try to be cool ,use the words like: yeah totally,or however....try to be little care less about him... ...lol
6- dont be bushy....stay calm and dont complain alot ....jst a little but not alot....
i cant remember anymore so......ill see u the susunod time.....thank u all for pagbaba this..and plz comment ,have all a gr8 day..peace ^_^
posted by tooch
I do not own any of these. If used, please credit teenthings@twitter.com

We all do, say, think or relate to these, in some way or another:

-When you forget someone's name you wait for someone else to say it so you don't look like an idiot asking.
-I pick things up with my feet because I'm too lazy to bend down.
-I don't alisin my texts until it's 99% full.
-I hate when dinner's ready and you are in the middle of something.
-I still sometimes buy kids meals only for the toy.
-I hate how I look after I cry.
-Saying 'Are you kidding me?' even though you know the person isn't.
-Stop pretending like...
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1.we hate it when you grab our asses!!!(unless we are hoes)

2.when you cheat,we hate you and everything that has to do with you

3.dont act like you understand PMS,because you dont.So stop pagganap like it.

4.when you stare at other girls,and we stare at other boys,and you get all pissed off,you have no reason to speak.So you may as well stfu.

5.when you flirt,we flirt back,sometimes when we don't like you.and then we feel bad.So if you arent sure,dont flirt.

6.If we like a celebritey(ex:Orlando Bloom,Zac Efron,Bill Kaulitz,etc etc.)and we say they are hot,dont act like you dont care.We want...
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1)Devise a secret code with your mga kaibigan then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask tanong so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s tanong in slow motion 2)Answer tanong only with one word
3)Scream walang tiyak na layunin words without anybody noticing it’s you
4)Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
5)Ask your professor personal questions
6)Every time the professor finishes talking clap
7)Eat paper
8)Talk very fast
9)Call the professor “Mom” or “Dad”
10)Count your hair
11)Talk with an accent
12)Answer tanong in a different language
13)Fake spasms
14)Pretend...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal sa pamamagitan ng conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway you never take, or teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should follow these expert pointers to get yourself from Nawawala to un-lost.

1) DO ask for directions. DO NOT ask an axe murderer for directions.
People who see you crying over a crumpled map are almost always helpful (axe murderers being a notable exception). Look for some official-seeming person or kindly...
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Like the pamagat says, Does Robert Pattinson die in remember me? My mga kaibigan sinabi that he does and I just wanted to know. :):) :)
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:) :) :) :)
Haley:Hey!Guys let's compare our self's to anime and cartoon characters!

James:Okay.I'll go first!Haley you remind me of...Akira Kogami from lucky star!

Haley:...I do NOT have constant mood swings between happy and cute to mean and bitchy!YOU FRIGGIN' SON OF A WHORE!!!

James:Haley I know what my parents are.

Jack:W-What!?

Haley:Alex you remind me of...Alucard from Hellsing!

Alex:...That's nice...Kara reminds me of Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran high school host club.Bland and uninteresting.

Kara:Oh screw you!...Melissa you...wait how did you get into my house?

Melissa:Well I'll have you know I invited my...
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posted by HaleyDewit
Chris went to his bedroom and sank down on his bed. He lay down and stared at the ceiling. He wondered how the world outside would be like. Sure he had a clear view from behind his window, but it wasn’t the same as really be outside. He heard a familiar noise and a few segundos later Bianca materialized in the center of his room. He looked up at her, with an angry look in his eyes.
“Thanks for betraying me, Bi” Bianca sighed and shrugged. “I was only trying to help you. Wyatt shouldn’t be treating you this way and you know it” “What can I do about it? He saved my life. He raised...
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User: Wendigo or yeti.

Cleverbot: Who is Wendigo?

User: Wendigo is a abomination.

Cleverbot: Define abomination.

User: Abomination = # a person who is loathsome or disgusting # abhorrence: hate coupled with disgust # an action that is vicious or vile; an action that arouses disgust or abhorrence; 'his treatment of the children is an abomination'.

Cleverbot: I only fear death, but I cannot even fear that much with you at my side.

User: I do not fear death but I fear giving up on life.

User: I've gotta go mate speak you soon babe.

Cleverbot: Don't leave!

Cleverbot: Well the meaning of life certainly isn't...
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posted by sapherequeen
It all began when I was eight-years-old. My mother had found a new boyfriend named Nate. The two of them had a steady relationship for some months before they finally decided to find a house to live in together. They relocated a house at a different kalye in the same town I have been living in since I was 10-months-old. At first, it seemed like a nice street. It had this peaceful feeling to it, the feeling that just made you feel like home. That was one of my greatest memories of the street, the feeling of tahanan that it always gave me. I also made new mga kaibigan immediately; a little girl named...
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Bananas can sometimes be just as dangerous as lemons, but remember, monkeys touched them a lot, so they have some portion of us stuck in them. Really, they can be just as sentimental as us. I swear, last night my copy of The Blind Side got stolen, and there was a saging strangely close to the TV.....nevermind. Here's the listahan you have to watch out for:

1.The simplest way is the saging peel. Bananas like to be wackos and ipakita themselves to the ladies, so they shed some skin and sit there on the most slippery surface they can get. Of course, they don't care about you---so if you are near a slippery...
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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the mesa with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the gatas carton.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a telebisyon set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied,...
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posted by McDreamyluva
LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been ibingiay your share !

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...
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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If pag-ibig is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should you believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that Aso pag-ibig to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at you if you blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a puno falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pentagon were...
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•    A few clowns short of a circus

•    A few fries short of a Happy Meal

•    A few beers short of a six-pack

•    Dumber than a box of hair

•    A few peas short of a kaserol

•    Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

•    The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

•    One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl

•    A few feathers short of a whole pato

•    All foam, no beer...
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