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1.Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

2.Blow your nose and offer to ipakita the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

3.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!

4.Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.

5.Sell Girl Scout cookies.

6.On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

7.Shave.

8.Crack open your lalagyan or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?

9.Offer name pananda to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

10.Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

11.When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open sa pamamagitan ng themselves.

12.Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!

13.Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

14.Censored sa pamamagitan ng your son.

15.On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.

16.Do Tai Chi exercises.

17.Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!

18.When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!

19.Give religious tracts to each passenger.

20.Meow occassionally.

21.Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

22.Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!

23.Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

24.Sing Mary had a little tupa while continually pushing buttons.

25.Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.

26.Walk on with a palamigan that says human head on the side.

27.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce You're one of THEM! and ilipat to the far corner of the elevator.

28.Burp, and then say mmmm...tasty!

29.Leave a box between the doors.

30.Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

31.Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.

32.Start a sing-along.

33.When the elevator is silent, look around and ask is that your beeper?

34.Play the harmonica.

35.Shadow box.

36.Say Ding! at each floor.

37.Lean against the button panel.

38.Say I wonder what all these do and push the red buttons.

39.Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

40.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.

41.Bring a chair along.

42.Take a bite of a sanwits and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in muh mouf?

43.Blow spit bubbles.

44.Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

45.Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a madami suitable host body.

46.Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

47.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

48.Wear X-Ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.

49.Stare at your thumb and say I think it's getting larger.

50.If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler Bad touch!

50 Shake the person's hand when he/she enter the lift.

51 Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

Announce to the person stood susunod to you "I really need the toilet. Can I use your bag?"

52) Ask the other passengers "Wouldn't be great if this lift were to plumment to the floor, what do you think will happen?"

53) Petend to get your leg stuck in the door as it closes

53) Without letting anyone see, press the emergency stop button. Act surprised and start talking to yourself "its ok, it wasnt your fault you killed your family. It was SATAN, damm you SATAN! DAMN YOU!!!" Then press the stop button again and act as if nothing has happened.

54) Scratch yourself excessively saying "fucking headlice. They're all over me. I knew I shouldn't have played with that dog so much"

55) Set out a pinic set on the floor and suggest to the other passengers to sumali you in afternoon tea

56) Break wind and blame it on the person susunod to you

57) Pretend your are a repair man here to fix the lift. Wait untill its busy and tell everyone to get out of the lift. You get in, get your paper out and sit and relax

58) Start to talk about your sexlife. Tell them that all of your three children were concived in this very lift. And point and say "it was up against that wall"

59) Have sex with your imaginary friend

60) Say you have just won the lottery and you are on your way to collect your winnings. See how many people are listening to you

61) As the lift descends, shout "Bombs away!"

62) Offer to polish their shoes. When they say no, tell them you need the money to feed your ten starving children back tahanan in Estonia

63) Hand out leaflets - "what to do when the lift cable breaks. The ten tips that will keep your body in one pice (although these tips will not save your life, it will make the rescue a bit cleaner, and we wont have to spend ages cleaning the blood of the walls) Hope you will live to do it again!"

64) Perform a striptease

65) Act surprised when it starts to ilipat and say "THE GROUND IS FALLING!"

66) Fake an orgasam when the lift starts to move. Announce that it was your best ever

67) Let your mobile phone ring - don't anwser it.

68) Walk in to the lift with a clear bottle of mansanas juice. Start drinking and say "ah, theres nothing like your own urine to quench your first. Does anyone want some?"

69) Say "this new g-sring is really starting to hurt." Then attempt to adjust it.

70) Walk into the lift and say "this reminds me of being burried alive. Ah those were the days"

71) Suggest to the other passengers that you all should play a game of twister. Then get out the board and lie it on the floor

72)Paint the walls of the lift.

73) On entering, ask the passengers "Will you be my fwiend?". Burst into tears if they say no.

74) Stop the lift and say "twenty years in prison for murdering the whole family, and I get stuck in a lift after being out for two hours. Just my luck!"

75) Get back to nature - go in naked

76) Pretend to be the pilot of the lift, speach into a headset "this is lift number 1, ready for decent to 1st floor. Waiting for permission to depart, over"

77) Announce in a computer like voice "this lift will self destruct in 5 4 3 2 .....oh heres my floor"

78) Serve tsaa and coffee

79) Take shoes off before entering, Look shocked and disgusted when the others dont

80) Act like the sergent of the lift. Order people around. Tell them to get in line.

81) Suggest to the other people that your should play musical statues. Bring a tape recorder along too

82) Teach the people french. Dont let them leave till they get it right

83) As you are coming to the end of the journey, get enmotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

84) Insist, the lift ride costs £2.50

85) Describe in detail, how you're "hung like a horse"

86) Pretend to be a flight attendant (particularly affective if you are dressed like one), instruct the passengers on what to do in an emergency

87) Yodel

88) Bring out a magnifying glass, closey inspect the other passengers skin and say "ooh, look at your pores"

89) Sing "I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get, get, get on your nerves" Over and over again.

90) Ask the others "Do you mind if I do my eminem impression?", then bring out a chainsaw and a mask.

91) Try breakdancing

92) Bring out a fake toy gun and shout to the person susunod to you "you lookin' at me?"

93) Challenge the guy stood susunod to you to a "thumb war".

94) Explain your ideas of world domination to the wall.

95) Force people to read to Kama Sutra while asking "do you wanna try this one?"

96) Dress up in a long, black balabal with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "it is time..."

97) Pretend to see a spider, repeatedly and violently stamp on the floor while screaming "Die you bastard, die DIIEEE!"

98) While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

99) If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

100) Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.

101) Explain to the passengers that this lift looks the same as the ones on all the other floors.

102) Re-enact scenes from a movie where someone climbs out through the roof.

103) Tell people their clothes are stuck in the lift door, when the look round and see it isn't, apologise, then 5 segundos later say it again in exactly the same tone of voice.

104) Strip naked and ask if 'your' (not my) bum looks big in this dress.

105) Release cockroaches and rats or doves.

106) Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

107) Point a apoy extinguisher at the door as it opens and a passenger tries to enter, ready, aim, and bend the nozzle round and cover yourself with foam.

108) Blast out some heavy metal music (Rammstein or Disturbed oughtta do the trick) sing along, while headbanging.

109) Dress up as a bellboy and ask them what floor they want and press the wrong one. When they try to correct you, spit,"are you trying to say i cant do my job?!'

110) Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

I found this online :P
10. we have a slim chance we might be able to make a non hangover wine.....more amazing things have happened.....Actually that might be a lie.
9. We've all got our mga kaibigan and family....And chocolate.
8. We also have light chocolate!
7. we also have dark chocolate!
6. Did I mention we have chocolate?
5. If the "Waters of mars" doctor who special scared the cra* out of you, at least your not alone...
4. Even if you sometimes feel sad or depressed, the sun will come out tomorrow....OR if your used to typical british wheather then this doesn't apply to you sorry, but if your in any other country, then you still have ten reasons to stay sane!
3. When you think of tsokolate everything seems to go your way...
2. There's someone for everyone!
1. Thats the lot! :)
-Pandawinx. :)
(PS thanks for reading! :) )
posted by Shelly_McShelly
1. If using a touch-tone, press walang tiyak na layunin numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their tanong with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...
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1. "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

2. "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

3. "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

4. "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

5. "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

6. "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

7. "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

8. "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Colonel Sanders
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Milton Berle
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

George Gobal
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching telebisyon sa pamamagitan ng candlelight.

Groucho Marx
I find telebisyon very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the...
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WELDONE!

YOU HAVE FAILED TO IGNORE THIS MESSAGE TO YOU - THE PERSON WHO FAILED!

dear fellow fanpop failures...

i have failed to bring you the news of fail blog sooner...

some of you may know but the rest of you probabley fail to know what im talking about. well fail blog is the brand new fail site. it's stuffed full of posts of your araw to araw FAILS. it does have the occasional win... there are the most walang tiyak na layunin posts of failed litrato shots of failures posted sa pamamagitan ng dedicated failed fail-er fail finders some are plain stupid but it won't fail to make you laugh! you can take failed pictures your self...
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Hey,it's werewolflover.you seemed to like my other artikulo like this so here's another one.I hope you enjoy and please rate and comment.
#1 sit in your front yard and every time someone walks sa pamamagitan ng (even a dog) moo where they can hear.
#2 Have a tsaa party with Mr.Wiggles.If anyone wals sa pamamagitan ng say "would you like to sumali us?"
#3 scream at everyone to hide because the kulay-rosas fuzzy bananas are taking over the world.
#4 go to a park/any large grassy area where people are,sit down and scream.
#5 Start coughing and then say "sorry my chipmunk,Fred was trying to get out of my stomach.Then say to Fred,be good or I'm taking your DS away.
I personally think my first one was better,but what do ya think?
posted by xxXsk8trXxx
1. Go to a Miley Cyrus konsiyerto with an obsessed Twilight Fangirl, and go up on stage with her in the middle of the konsiyerto and talk about Edward Cullen (fangirl or not). Make sure you both wear My Chemical Romance T-Shirts.

2. Make a gossip magazine write about a Joe Jonas and Robert Patterson scandal.

3. Tell Selena Gomez or Demi Lovato that they're bad role models.

4. Diss Selena Gomez's fasion style.

5. Bring Marilyn Manson and Gene Simmons (both with makeup) to the set of Sonny With A Chance.

6. Compare Joe Jonas's dyaket in "Burnin Up" and a The Black Parade jacket. Farmiliar?

7. Morph Miley...
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ipakita this to your math teacher, and tell me what his/her reaction is! ^_^

Pi = 3.
141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399 375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825 342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582 231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559 644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475 648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610 454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315 588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360 011330530548820466521384146951941511609433057 270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548 074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011 949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737...
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"ATTENTION TDI AND TDA FANS!!!! GUESS WAT... FOR TOTAL DRAMA ACTION EPISODE 14 IS COMING OUT IN 3WEEKS!!!!!!! I REPEAT 3 WEEKS!!!! OMIGOSH THIS IS BIG NEWS THE EXACT petsa IS: September 1, 2009 in both canada and the usa every1 should watch!!!!!!"
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My friend posted these on her bebo page a while nakaraan so I thought I'd share them with you :D

1) Bring a pillow. Fall asleep until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say ``oh geez, better get cracking'' and do some gibberish work.

2) Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming ``Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!''

3) If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the surface integral symbol.

4) Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5) Talk the entire way through the...
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posted by shiriny
one in 10 of the world's population is left handed.
four out of five machintosh computer designers were left handed,and one out of four Apollo astronauts were left handers too.

madami famous left hander:

drew barry more

Angelina jolie

nicole kidman

Marilyn monroe

demi moore

Mary-kate and ashley olsen

julia roberts

Hans christian anderson

mark twain

Billy sinag cyrus

celine dion

Pierce brosnan

jim carry

Hugh jackman

brad pitt

Michelangelo

leonardo davinci

Picasso

newton

Albert einstein

george bush

charlie chaplin

cary grant

napeleon bonaparte

bill gates

marie curie

rachel adams

mark spitz
posted by shiriny
-chocolate kills dogs! True, tsokolate affects a dog's puso and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.

-Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.

-Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

-Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

-Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

-A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head

-Brains are madami active sleeping than watching TV

-There are madami chickens than people in the world

-The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows...
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posted by BellaCullen96
After you cut off a vehicle, give a "Thanks-for-letting-me-in" wave and nod to the other driver.
Always save your nose picking for when you're behind the wheel.
Drive closely behind speeding ambulances and apoy trucks so you get ahead of everyone who pulls over to let them pass.
Drive with a pen and ATM envelope in your hand and write down everything a moron driver does.
If another driver honks at you, ignore it, continue to do exactly what you are doing, and give him a dirty look.
If another driver is courteous enough to let you in front of him/her, ipakita your appreciation sa pamamagitan ng letting the entire...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Take large objects on the train with you.
Sing songs. Start a round with everyone on the train.
Eat onions and garlic and talk to the people susunod to you.
Sell stuff.
Stand in front of the doorway and glare at people when they try to get by.
Yell to your mga kaibigan at the other end of the train.
Make fun of other people while they are in hearing distance of you.
Ride the train while drunk. Extra points if you throw up.
Constantly ask people for directions.
Ask people where they are from.
Ask people where they are going.
Quiz people on the meaning of life.
Start a game of poker. Extra points if it's strip poker....
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Ask everyone you meet, "Hot enough for you?"
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as you can.
If you see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to pato under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as you can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
posted by boomy678
Materials:
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, or pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids


Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum madami gloss!)

2.Microwave for 5 min or completely melted

3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting madami till you reach your desired shade.

4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.

Enjoy!!


Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
posted by Mallory101
1. Recycle aluminum and glass.
2. Buy energy efficient appliances
3. Run clothes washers only when fully loaded, but don't overload
4. Plant a tree
5. Do all ironing at one time
6. Buy recycled paper
7. Buy low wattage or compact fluorescent light bulbs
8. Turn off lights that don't need to be on
9. Use cold water instead of hot
10. Use small ovens or stove-top cooking methods instead of your large oven
11. Bring your own reusable bags to the grocery store
12. Write companies urging them to use paper rather than plastics and styrofoam
13. Buy products that will last
14. Support environmentally conscious...
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posted by MrsPattinsonXO
Okay, so I was sitting on the sopa last night watching some rubbish telebisyon ipakita and texting my boyfriend Liam. Anyway I think he'd had too much sugar that night cause he was all like 'I feel special when I wear my bahaghari colored raincoat' and stuff. So then he text and was like 'I pag-ibig you soooooo much' and so I was like 'I pag-ibig you more' and he was like 'NO!' and I was like Yes! and he was like 'No cause... cause... cause well I'm getting you a birthday present! And so I'm like 'I'm getting you one first' (cause his birthday is before mine) and then like ten minutos later he's like damn. And so I'm like 'I win'.

THE END
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fotoflexer.com/...
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A little motavational poem I found link. Enjoy. ;P



At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.