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Source: desktopnexus
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Source: desktopnexus
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Stand on tuktok of the high board and say you won't come down until your demands are met.
Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today.
Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.
Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
Take a flutter board and pretend you can't swim.
Hit strangers with your flutter board.
Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you.
Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, "Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good....".
Sit on the tuktok of the water slide and don't move.
Swim near a stranger and say,...
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I found this one on the internet:

Why did the chicken tumawid the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he was a maverick chicken, and he wanted to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken had to tumawid the road because he was not able to find a bridge. Alaskans do not build bridges to nowhere. If he wanted a bridge, he'd have to build it himself.

JOE BIDEN: The chicken crossed the road because...
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Source: desktopnexus
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Source: 1280x800.com
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Source: ewallpapers.org
posted by BellaCullen96
Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to ilipat on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When you leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe you embarrassed me AGAIN...."
Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using...
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posted by BellaSwan636
 I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!! - k.
I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!! - k.
-Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says to the other,"Jeez, it's hot in here!" The other one goes,"Aaah!!! Talking muffin!"

-A blonde is driving in her car, past all these fields. Suddenly, she sees a sunflower field with a broken down bangka in the middle, and another blonde is sitting in it, rowing and rowing. The blonde in the car stops, gets out and screams at the other blonde,"It's blondes like you that make blondes like us look bad! I swear, if I could swim, I'd come over there and slap you!"

-A blonde and a brunette are on a road trip. The brunette is driving, and she thinks her indicator...
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posted by Little_Cullen
O.K, so the other araw we were handed this picture and told to write a poem. Well, you know me. This is what I came up with.

Giggle Giggle went the lad’s,
For they were doing something bad,
What they were holding in their hands,
Oh, it was not the building plans!

Leaders of the building team,
Oh - so - sensible they seemed,
But what nobody else did see,
Was making them chuckle with glee!

One of them looked over his shoulder,
One of the men, the picture holder,
Just to make absolutely sure,
No one thought them immature.

When he saw the coast was clear,
Once madami at the picture did he peer,
And I’m sure sa pamamagitan ng now you’re aware,
Exactly what that man saw there!
okay, so people, my friend Megan and I are making a SECRET club that anyone can join!!! Though it's not a secret any more... Yeah, the SECRET club is called F.S. which stands for Fishy Stuff. And we made a spot on fanpop for F.S. soo you can join. Here is the club's rules:

1. Rules are made for breaking
2. Fishy stuff is not a club for people who want to discuis eating fishies
3. In order to sumali F.S. you must eat at least 100,000 muffins.
4. Ignore theses rules
5. Break every rule appart from this one.
6. tsaa is like soup
7. Don't drink the laptop
8. EVERYTHING is yellow
9. this rule does not exist,...
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posted by TDIlover226
1# wait till there talking on the phone and say "your talking to that hooker again arn't you, I know she has problems but theres no need to go all phycaitrist on her.

2# stand susunod to her and go "toast?" and wait like your waiting for an answer, then go "hello, arn't you even gonna answer?" wait till they say what? then go "well, you need an aointment to go to that hair stylist", then wait again for them to say something else and go "YOU NEVER RESPECTED ME!" and run out of the room.

3# (this ones for boys) wait until your sister is talking with mga kaibigan then run up and sit between them and go...
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posted by Bibelot
Washington Post Competition asked for a two line rhyme with the most romantic first line and least romantic segundo line.
This is the (hands down!!) winner...

'My darling,my love,my beautiful life;
Marrying you simply demolished my life.

I see your face when i'm dreaming;
That's why i always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and HOT;
This describes everything you're not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take the paper bag off your face.

I pag-ibig your smile, your face, your eyes;
Damn,I'm good at telling lies!!!.'