#1:
Donny: Now Ted.. You belong to Robert now, okay, you do what he says.
Ted: You think you can just get away with kidnapping?.. Nice fuckin example your setting her-
Donny: (screaming) LANGUAAAGE!!
Donny: (calm again) Sorry, sorry... You know Ted, when I was a little boy, I saw you on television. And I thought you were the most amazing, most wonderful thing I'd ever seen, ever. And I asked my dad if I could have a magically little teddy bear, too. And he said, "No."
Ted: Can you just email me the rest of this story?
Donny: And I was so heartbroken. And I promised myself that if I ever had a son, I would never, ever, ever say no to him. Ever.
Ted: Maybe "no" to a Snickers bar every once in a while wouldn't hurt.
#2:
Southern newscaster: LOOK WHAT Hesus DID! LOOK WHAT Hesus DID! LOOK WHAT Hesus DID!
#3:
John: [Stammers and stands up; he speaks in a calm tone] I'm sorry little guy, but my madala isn't for sale. See, I've had him since I was about your age. He's very, very special to me.
Robert: Stand up straight when you're talking to me!
John: [Dumbfounded] Why the fuck would he say that?
#4:
Frank: You had sexual intercourse with a co-worker on tuktok of the produce that we sell to the public?
Ted: I fucked her with a parsnip last week. And a sold the parsnip to a family with four small children.
Frank: That took guts. We need guts. I'm promoting you.
Ted: You got a lot of problems, don't ya?
#5:
Ted: Uh...well, you know, since I just returned from active duty in the Civil War, that actually sounds very appealing. Oh, wait! No, I'm sorry, that was a hundred and fifty years ago, and uh...I don't give a shit.
#6:
Ted: Marry pasko everyone.
Helen: (screams in horror)
Ted: Let's all be best friends.
Steve: Hesus H. FUCK!
John: Dad.
Steve: John get away from that thing.
John: Bu-
Steve: GET OVER HERE!!
Helen: LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER! COME HERE!
Steve: Helen, get my gun!
John: Dad no!
Ted: Is it a hugging gun?
Steve: GET MY GUN AND CALL THE COPS!!'
#7:
Man: You break my wall! This my tahanan long time! You break my wall! You bastard
men!
John: We're sorry, it was an accident.
Man: You bastard men! I try to make pato dinner, now plaster everywhere!
John: Chill out okay? We'll pay for it! Let's talk this out okay? What's your name? I'm John!
John: Look.. Just calm down, tell us your name.
Man: My name Wan Ming.
Sam: Ming!?
Man: (dressed as Ming the Merciless) You pay many dollar for wall! This bullshit! This all bullshit!
Sam: DEATH!! TO MINNG!!
#8:
Narrator: Donny was arrested sa pamamagitan ng Boston police and charged with kidnapping a plush toy. The charges were dropped when everyone realized how completely stupid that sounded.
#9:
Lori: Can I give you a ride home?
John: No thanks, I'll walk. I might get raped but if I do I'll know it's my fault because of what I'm wearing.
#10:
Frank: You think you got what it takes?
Ted: I'll tell you what I got. Your wife's pussy on my breath.
Frank: Nobody's ever spoken to me like that before.
Ted: That's because their mouths were full of your wife's box.
Frank: ... You're hired.
Ted: Shit.
#11:
Ted: I met a girl; she's a cashier.
John: No way! That's awesome! We should fuckin' double petsa or something, you, me and Lori and w-what's her name?
Ted: White trash name. Guess.
John: Mandy.
Ted: Nope.
John: Marilyn.
Ted: Nope.
John: Brittany?
Ted: Nope.
John: Tiffany.
Ted: Nope.
John: Candace.
Ted: Nope.
John: Don't fuck with me on this! I know this shit!
Ted: Do you see me fuckin' with you? I'm completely serious.
John: Alright, speed round. I'm gonna rattle off some names, and when I hit it, you fuckin' buzz it, okay? You got me?
Ted: You do it. I will tell you. Yeah.
John: Alright: Brandy, Heather, Channing, Brianna, Amber, Serena, Melody, Dakota, Sierra, Bambi, Crystal, Samantha, Autumn, Ruby, Taylor, Tara, Tammy, Lauren, Charlene, Chantelle, Courtney, Misty, Jenny, Krista, Mindy, Noel, Shelby, Trina, Reba, Cassandra, Nikki, Kelsey, Shawna, Jolene, Urleen, Claudia, Savannah, Casey, Dolly, Kendra, Kylie, Chloe, Devon, Emmalou, fuckin' *Becky*?
Ted: No.
John: Wait; was it any of those names with a "Lynn" after it?
Ted: *Yes*.
John: Oh, I got you, motherfucker! I got you!
[Ted laughs]
John: Okay. Brandi-Lynn, Heather-Lynn...
Ted: Tami-Lynn.
John: FUUCK!!
#12:
Narrator: Despite all of Ted's fame, he still made time for John.. What happened to him?.. Well.. No matter how big a splash you make in this world whether you're Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber or a talking teddy bear, eventually, nobody gives a shit.
#13:
John: [calling 911] This guy took my teddy bear!
[pause]
John: Hello? Hello!?
#14:
[thunder is heard outside]
Lori: I don't - I don't understand. I really don't. You're 35 years old and you're still scared of a little thunder?
John: I am not!
[Ted comes running into the bed]
Ted: Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny?
John: Fucking right.
Ted: Alright, come on, let's sing the thunder song.
John: Alright.
John, Ted: [singing] When you hear the sound of thunder, / Don't you get too scared. / Just grab your thunder buddy / And say these magic words: / "Fuck you, thunder! / You can suck my dick! / You can't get me thunder / 'Cause you're just God's farts!"
[blow raspberries]
#15:
Ted: Oh look Johnny, if we're ever gonna get serious about openin' a restaurant we gotta start plannin' it now.
John: Italian.
Ted: Italian, yes.
John: What's the special on Tuesdays?
Ted: talong parm.
John: Chopped salad half price.
Ted: And it's a non-restricted place.
John: Yeah. Wait, whaddaya mean?
Ted: Anybody can come.
John: Of course.
Ted: Jews are welcome.
John: Well yeah, I mean why wouldn't they be?
Ted: Exactly, that's what I'm saying.
John: Yeah, but why even bring that up?
Ted: You don't bring it up. You just let 'em in.
John: So why mention it?
Ted: No one will.
John: So why are we talking about it?
Ted: You're talkin' about it, I'm just sayin' let 'em in.
John: Yeah, let 'em in.
Ted: Exactly.
John: Right.
Ted: Good.
John: Okay.
Ted: No Mexicans, though.
#16:
John: We have been dating for four years tomorrow.
Ted: Fuck me! Nice!
John: Let me ask you something. You don't think she's gonna be expecting something big, do you?
Ted: What? Like anal?
John: No... Like fuckin engagement ring,
Ted: Wait.. We been together for madami than four years..Where's my ring?.. Huh? Where's my engagement ring motherfucker!?.. Put it on my fuzzy finger you fuck!
#17:
Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is madami powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine mga baril AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
#18:
Guy: I got fuckin wasted last night, and apparently I made a letter to a man asking him to beat me up. And another letter saying thank you.
#19:
John: Ted!
Ted: (bizarre voice) I'm alive, Johnny!
John: Oh, my God!
Ted: (bizarre voice) I'm alive. Your magical wish worked!
John: You're back!
Ted: (bizarre voice) Yeah, I mean, when you sewed me up you put some of the stuffing in the wrong places, so I'm a little fucked up. But will you take care of me forever and ever?
John: (pauses)
Ted: (normal voice) Hawhawhaw, I'm just kidding you. I thought it would be funny if you thought I was fucking retarded.
#20:
Ted: No, see trust me I can do this.
Guy #1: Shut up.
Guy #2: Let him try it, man.
Guy #1: All right. Okay.
[Puts his hand on the mesa with fingers spread out. Ted picks up a kutsilyo and starts stabbing the mesa between Guy #1's fingers as the crowd cheers. Ted stabs faster until he accidentally stabs Guy #1's hand. Crowd gasps as Guy #1 grabs his hand and crashes into the TV stand]
Ted: What?
Guy #1: [Holding his hand where blood is oozing out of the wound] Son of a bitch!
Ted: Well you never should have trusted me. I'm on drugs.
Donny: Now Ted.. You belong to Robert now, okay, you do what he says.
Ted: You think you can just get away with kidnapping?.. Nice fuckin example your setting her-
Donny: (screaming) LANGUAAAGE!!
Donny: (calm again) Sorry, sorry... You know Ted, when I was a little boy, I saw you on television. And I thought you were the most amazing, most wonderful thing I'd ever seen, ever. And I asked my dad if I could have a magically little teddy bear, too. And he said, "No."
Ted: Can you just email me the rest of this story?
Donny: And I was so heartbroken. And I promised myself that if I ever had a son, I would never, ever, ever say no to him. Ever.
Ted: Maybe "no" to a Snickers bar every once in a while wouldn't hurt.
#2:
Southern newscaster: LOOK WHAT Hesus DID! LOOK WHAT Hesus DID! LOOK WHAT Hesus DID!
#3:
John: [Stammers and stands up; he speaks in a calm tone] I'm sorry little guy, but my madala isn't for sale. See, I've had him since I was about your age. He's very, very special to me.
Robert: Stand up straight when you're talking to me!
John: [Dumbfounded] Why the fuck would he say that?
#4:
Frank: You had sexual intercourse with a co-worker on tuktok of the produce that we sell to the public?
Ted: I fucked her with a parsnip last week. And a sold the parsnip to a family with four small children.
Frank: That took guts. We need guts. I'm promoting you.
Ted: You got a lot of problems, don't ya?
#5:
Ted: Uh...well, you know, since I just returned from active duty in the Civil War, that actually sounds very appealing. Oh, wait! No, I'm sorry, that was a hundred and fifty years ago, and uh...I don't give a shit.
#6:
Ted: Marry pasko everyone.
Helen: (screams in horror)
Ted: Let's all be best friends.
Steve: Hesus H. FUCK!
John: Dad.
Steve: John get away from that thing.
John: Bu-
Steve: GET OVER HERE!!
Helen: LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER! COME HERE!
Steve: Helen, get my gun!
John: Dad no!
Ted: Is it a hugging gun?
Steve: GET MY GUN AND CALL THE COPS!!'
#7:
Man: You break my wall! This my tahanan long time! You break my wall! You bastard
men!
John: We're sorry, it was an accident.
Man: You bastard men! I try to make pato dinner, now plaster everywhere!
John: Chill out okay? We'll pay for it! Let's talk this out okay? What's your name? I'm John!
John: Look.. Just calm down, tell us your name.
Man: My name Wan Ming.
Sam: Ming!?
Man: (dressed as Ming the Merciless) You pay many dollar for wall! This bullshit! This all bullshit!
Sam: DEATH!! TO MINNG!!
#8:
Narrator: Donny was arrested sa pamamagitan ng Boston police and charged with kidnapping a plush toy. The charges were dropped when everyone realized how completely stupid that sounded.
#9:
Lori: Can I give you a ride home?
John: No thanks, I'll walk. I might get raped but if I do I'll know it's my fault because of what I'm wearing.
#10:
Frank: You think you got what it takes?
Ted: I'll tell you what I got. Your wife's pussy on my breath.
Frank: Nobody's ever spoken to me like that before.
Ted: That's because their mouths were full of your wife's box.
Frank: ... You're hired.
Ted: Shit.
#11:
Ted: I met a girl; she's a cashier.
John: No way! That's awesome! We should fuckin' double petsa or something, you, me and Lori and w-what's her name?
Ted: White trash name. Guess.
John: Mandy.
Ted: Nope.
John: Marilyn.
Ted: Nope.
John: Brittany?
Ted: Nope.
John: Tiffany.
Ted: Nope.
John: Candace.
Ted: Nope.
John: Don't fuck with me on this! I know this shit!
Ted: Do you see me fuckin' with you? I'm completely serious.
John: Alright, speed round. I'm gonna rattle off some names, and when I hit it, you fuckin' buzz it, okay? You got me?
Ted: You do it. I will tell you. Yeah.
John: Alright: Brandy, Heather, Channing, Brianna, Amber, Serena, Melody, Dakota, Sierra, Bambi, Crystal, Samantha, Autumn, Ruby, Taylor, Tara, Tammy, Lauren, Charlene, Chantelle, Courtney, Misty, Jenny, Krista, Mindy, Noel, Shelby, Trina, Reba, Cassandra, Nikki, Kelsey, Shawna, Jolene, Urleen, Claudia, Savannah, Casey, Dolly, Kendra, Kylie, Chloe, Devon, Emmalou, fuckin' *Becky*?
Ted: No.
John: Wait; was it any of those names with a "Lynn" after it?
Ted: *Yes*.
John: Oh, I got you, motherfucker! I got you!
[Ted laughs]
John: Okay. Brandi-Lynn, Heather-Lynn...
Ted: Tami-Lynn.
John: FUUCK!!
#12:
Narrator: Despite all of Ted's fame, he still made time for John.. What happened to him?.. Well.. No matter how big a splash you make in this world whether you're Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber or a talking teddy bear, eventually, nobody gives a shit.
#13:
John: [calling 911] This guy took my teddy bear!
[pause]
John: Hello? Hello!?
#14:
[thunder is heard outside]
Lori: I don't - I don't understand. I really don't. You're 35 years old and you're still scared of a little thunder?
John: I am not!
[Ted comes running into the bed]
Ted: Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny?
John: Fucking right.
Ted: Alright, come on, let's sing the thunder song.
John: Alright.
John, Ted: [singing] When you hear the sound of thunder, / Don't you get too scared. / Just grab your thunder buddy / And say these magic words: / "Fuck you, thunder! / You can suck my dick! / You can't get me thunder / 'Cause you're just God's farts!"
[blow raspberries]
#15:
Ted: Oh look Johnny, if we're ever gonna get serious about openin' a restaurant we gotta start plannin' it now.
John: Italian.
Ted: Italian, yes.
John: What's the special on Tuesdays?
Ted: talong parm.
John: Chopped salad half price.
Ted: And it's a non-restricted place.
John: Yeah. Wait, whaddaya mean?
Ted: Anybody can come.
John: Of course.
Ted: Jews are welcome.
John: Well yeah, I mean why wouldn't they be?
Ted: Exactly, that's what I'm saying.
John: Yeah, but why even bring that up?
Ted: You don't bring it up. You just let 'em in.
John: So why mention it?
Ted: No one will.
John: So why are we talking about it?
Ted: You're talkin' about it, I'm just sayin' let 'em in.
John: Yeah, let 'em in.
Ted: Exactly.
John: Right.
Ted: Good.
John: Okay.
Ted: No Mexicans, though.
#16:
John: We have been dating for four years tomorrow.
Ted: Fuck me! Nice!
John: Let me ask you something. You don't think she's gonna be expecting something big, do you?
Ted: What? Like anal?
John: No... Like fuckin engagement ring,
Ted: Wait.. We been together for madami than four years..Where's my ring?.. Huh? Where's my engagement ring motherfucker!?.. Put it on my fuzzy finger you fuck!
#17:
Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is madami powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine mga baril AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
#18:
Guy: I got fuckin wasted last night, and apparently I made a letter to a man asking him to beat me up. And another letter saying thank you.
#19:
John: Ted!
Ted: (bizarre voice) I'm alive, Johnny!
John: Oh, my God!
Ted: (bizarre voice) I'm alive. Your magical wish worked!
John: You're back!
Ted: (bizarre voice) Yeah, I mean, when you sewed me up you put some of the stuffing in the wrong places, so I'm a little fucked up. But will you take care of me forever and ever?
John: (pauses)
Ted: (normal voice) Hawhawhaw, I'm just kidding you. I thought it would be funny if you thought I was fucking retarded.
#20:
Ted: No, see trust me I can do this.
Guy #1: Shut up.
Guy #2: Let him try it, man.
Guy #1: All right. Okay.
[Puts his hand on the mesa with fingers spread out. Ted picks up a kutsilyo and starts stabbing the mesa between Guy #1's fingers as the crowd cheers. Ted stabs faster until he accidentally stabs Guy #1's hand. Crowd gasps as Guy #1 grabs his hand and crashes into the TV stand]
Ted: What?
Guy #1: [Holding his hand where blood is oozing out of the wound] Son of a bitch!
Ted: Well you never should have trusted me. I'm on drugs.
#1: Packie McCreary:
Obviously I am NOT the only one who likes Packie.
He has his own character trailer, as dose Roman, and even Vlad.
Packie became so famish that he was brought back, in GTA 5.
Being used for heists.
These appearances are brief.
But at least we see him..
#2: Lamar Davis:
Franklyn's unstable friend, who is a bit less hypocritical than Franklyn, but also a bit less "sane".
He is always willing to pull the trigger, in fact, he probably enjoys it.
It's no question, he is known among fans..
#3: Roman Bellic:
Hate him or pag-ibig him.
We all know him.
I for one like Roman because he's much madami "innocent" than most GTA characters.
Most people can relate to him..
Obviously I am NOT the only one who likes Packie.
He has his own character trailer, as dose Roman, and even Vlad.
Packie became so famish that he was brought back, in GTA 5.
Being used for heists.
These appearances are brief.
But at least we see him..
#2: Lamar Davis:
Franklyn's unstable friend, who is a bit less hypocritical than Franklyn, but also a bit less "sane".
He is always willing to pull the trigger, in fact, he probably enjoys it.
It's no question, he is known among fans..
#3: Roman Bellic:
Hate him or pag-ibig him.
We all know him.
I for one like Roman because he's much madami "innocent" than most GTA characters.
Most people can relate to him..
I never actually SEEN dragon Ball Z.
But know who characters are.
Anyway.
I don't have much to say.
It's such a long series.
I could never finish it. Most just watched all the BEST OF's.
Now that I am finally able to appreciate the humor.
This series is f***in hilarious.
The Humor mixes between Piccalo being a wise ass. KrillIn being the butt of all the jokes. Frieze being borderline insane. And Goku being an immature moron, with a lack of common sense, and would literary forgive you for killing his friends, simply cause you (sarcastically) apologised.
But th REAL humor comes, from my opinion, directly from Vedetta.
Abridged Vedetta should have his own crossover series.
He's friggin awesome.
He's loud, but his voice shows that.
Sometimes.
Loud screaming is AWESOME..
Anyway..
That's all I got.
PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS
But know who characters are.
Anyway.
I don't have much to say.
It's such a long series.
I could never finish it. Most just watched all the BEST OF's.
Now that I am finally able to appreciate the humor.
This series is f***in hilarious.
The Humor mixes between Piccalo being a wise ass. KrillIn being the butt of all the jokes. Frieze being borderline insane. And Goku being an immature moron, with a lack of common sense, and would literary forgive you for killing his friends, simply cause you (sarcastically) apologised.
But th REAL humor comes, from my opinion, directly from Vedetta.
Abridged Vedetta should have his own crossover series.
He's friggin awesome.
He's loud, but his voice shows that.
Sometimes.
Loud screaming is AWESOME..
Anyway..
That's all I got.
PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS
Okay.. The first thing you guys are probably wondering is, what dose Affably evil mean?
"Flex Affably Evil usually means someone "sounds" nice, but would clearly throw you in front of a bus without a segundo thought"..
Obviously Bugs is no villain.
But he seems like he should at least be an anti hero.
Cause when you really think about, he shows very little remorse to those he declares as enemies.
Probably the biggest example of this is the fat opra singer, who destories the building with his on voice, and Bugs Dosen't even let him bow, without bringing him madami pain.
Anyway.
Not much madami to say.
But I'll leave it as something to think about..
"Flex Affably Evil usually means someone "sounds" nice, but would clearly throw you in front of a bus without a segundo thought"..
Obviously Bugs is no villain.
But he seems like he should at least be an anti hero.
Cause when you really think about, he shows very little remorse to those he declares as enemies.
Probably the biggest example of this is the fat opra singer, who destories the building with his on voice, and Bugs Dosen't even let him bow, without bringing him madami pain.
Anyway.
Not much madami to say.
But I'll leave it as something to think about..