Home Sweet Home...
The following is set a week later.
Blair has been depressed since Chuck left. Serena and Dan are on their honeymoon but have been in regular contact with Blair.
Zane has also been in touch with Blair over the phone, he told her about his encounter with Chuck but Blair hasn't ibingiay him any details on what happened between her and Chuck.
Ever since the break up Blair has ibingiay up on trying to be happy, she is miserable, she has tried to ignore the fact that she was pregnant, there was a voice in the back of her mind telling her that everything was the baby's fault and that made her hate the baby at times.
She would spend night and araw thinking about the past and about how much things had changed....it had made her miss her youth...being in New York...being at home...she had missed out on enjoying her youth because she was too busy trying to be the poster girl...trying to be reyna B...one morning after waking up and having breakfast she decided that maybe she could go back for a araw and just forget about everything going on in her life and just breathe in the Manhattan air...so it was decided. Blair was going back to Manhattan for the day. Today would be all about Blair Waldorf. It was Blair time.
* * * * * * * *
She leaps off the train....the station actually reminded her of the araw she left this city...for a new life....it was supposed to be a good life...who knew it would lead her back here. The only difference was, this time she was alone at the station....there was no Chuck, no Serena or Dan...no Nate or Vanessa...just Blair.
She begins to make her way to Central Park...it seemed the perfect place to start the day.
Once at Central Park, she finds her way through the old paths her and Serena would walk on weekends after shopping sprees, or breakfast...it was still the same. Nothing had changed. The air felt the same, the damo still pagtunaw like 2008...even the people seemed constant. She had to remember that she wasn't 18 any more...she was 21, going on 22 in a few months time.
She sat at a bench for a moment. She looked on as she spotted a teen couple making out in the distance. It reminded her of when she was 16...in the park with Nate Archibald...
They had just finished school. Nate wanted to hang out with her for a while longer, they decided to walk home, she couldn't resist. Every time they were alone, all they would do is make out...they were young and it was a big thing for them...not many of the girls at Constance had a boyfriend...not one as good looking as Nate. She was reyna B, having a boyfriend made her even madami envied sa pamamagitan ng the other girls.
They found their way to Central Park...he was leaning on a puno which hid them from view of the people passing on the street...what would they think, "silly kids, they dont know what they're getting themselves into!". But these two didnt care.
N: So are you going to halik me?
B: Is that why we're here?
N: Maybe...(he leans pasulong and kisses her once, they smile and he wraps his arms around her waist, she jitters)
B: Dont...it tickles!
N: What...im just holding you...dont be so squeamish!
B: Im not...(he kisses her again)
N: Maybe we should scratch our names into this tree...then in 10 years time we can come back and look if it's still her.
B: Really? Ok then...
Nate took out one of his keys and dug into the bark of the puno as hard as he could...scratching the words..."Blair <3 Nate 4eva."
N: Now you know that ill always pag-ibig you.
B: I pag-ibig you too. (they continue to make out)
The tree...which one was it...she stood up and looked around studying the park carefully. Then she began walking around trying to locate the tree....a while later she found it....it was definitely that one. It had to be. She ran over to it and tried to find their inscription....it was gone. It saddened her for a moment...that moment in her life...the only proof it happened...was gone. But why should it bother her...it didnt mean anything to her anyway...
It was time to leave the park...maybe she could go past school...that was where most of her life was played out...it was her stage...where everything happened.
Half an oras later she arrived. Constance Billard and St. Jude's. Again...everything looked so similar to 3 and a half years ago. She walked over to the gate....she could almost picture Chuck standing there smoking...waiting for her to arrive at school, just so that he could dispose of the cigarette in front of her face...like he wanted to ipakita that he wouldn't smoke for her. It made her smile. That was the spot, sa pamamagitan ng the entrance, where they had first got together...as a couple...standing right there, it was the first time he had properly admitted that he wanted to be with her. He was so cute...hiding his feelings but then opening up to her finally...at the time she used to think it was the hardest time of her life...it seemed so small and minor compared to how things were now. Back then it was just about getting him...now it was about forgetting him.
Her thoughts were interrupted sa pamamagitan ng a group of loud girls walking by. She watched them closely as they sat down at the school steps. Only one girl was standing. She seemed a bit younger than the others. Probably a freshman...they were being mean to her...telling her to run errands for them...to prove herself worthy of being their friend. Blair was shocked...it was just like her....she could tell immediately which one was in charge...the one giving out the rules...then there were four other girls just nodding and imitating her, they were all dressed similarly...it was like watching herself with Penelope, Issy and Nelli, picking on little Jenny Humphrey...it made Blair giggle, but nod her head...she actually had pity for them...how they were wasting their lives trying to be popular, when there was so much madami to life. But they would have to learn, the hard way just like she had done.
Blair walked away. There was one other place she had to visit.
It wasn't long before she reached her destination. Much to her dismay this was one place that had changed. She already knew it had...she knew that it had closed down after her and Chuck left Manhattan...but it was different to actually see it transformed in to something else...a cafe...something so innocent, compared to what it used to be.
She had to go in. She wanted to see the inside...whether she could find the place where she had Nawawala her virginity to her true love.
She sat at a mesa and made an order. Then she looked around....she spotted the place where the stage would have been..then the bar....she managed to locate the wing where the private rooms would have been...it had all been ripped apart...all it was now was a large dining area. if her estimations were correct she thought she had found where her and Chuck's private room would have been. A couple were sitting at a mesa eating pizza, right where her and Chuck had sex for the first time...she smiled...she couldn't help herself....this place...Victrola....it must have had so many secrets.
She had been there for at least half an hour, just thinking about him. About how much he had changed. How much of a real man he had become. She was so proud of him. She looked around once madami and spotted someone familiar sitting alone at one of the tables....she looked closely once madami and realised it was the girl from Constance she had seen earlier...the girl that reminded her of herself when she used to be reyna B. Something made her get up and approach the girl.
B: Is this upuan taken?
Girl: Umm ( looks at Blair weirdly) I guess not.
B: (sits down) Im Blair.
Girl: So?
B: So...what's your name?
Girl: Chloe...why?
B: No reason...ummm i saw you earlier...when you were with your mga kaibigan at school.
C: So you followed me?
B: No...of course not...i just...recognised you here so i thought id say hi.
C: Well...hi. I should probably go now.
B: No...wait....look...i know what it's like to be you...i used to be just like you.
C: You dont even know me!
B: reyna B, most popular girl in school, all the girls follow you, copy you, want to be like you, all the boys want to petsa you, but you only have eyes for one, you start all the fashion trends, people are only mga kaibigan with you if they pass your strict initiations, you rule the school, dream of going to Yale, tuktok of the social ladder, but deep down your lost, .....rich family but not really a family...is your maid your only real friend? I know how it goes Chloe...i've been there, done it...
C: Well im sure i wont end up like you....your pregnant...im not that stupid...if you must know im a virgin and still plan on being one until i find the right guy!
B: Believe me...it may look like i was stupid....and maybe i was...but this baby...i conceived with the man i love...i was in a relationship with him.
C: Oh...so he's your boyfriend? What's his name?
B: Ummm...were not together any more....his name was....(she smiles) Chuck Bass.
C: Chuck Bass!? I know that name! I've read all about him on Gossip Girl....wait a minute...Blair! I knew i recognised your name! You're Blair Waldorf!?...you guys are all over the Gossip Girl Archives!
B: Omg...Gossip Girl still exists?
C: Yeah...you were the ones who started it...that must mean you know who Gossip Girl was back then.... apparently the original Gossip Girl revealed her or his identity to one person who would continue Gossip Girl after she/he left Constance to go to college but no one knows who the new Gossip Girl is...you must know who the original was right?
B: No...trust me, we had no idea who it was...i guess we never will....so...you probably know a lot madami about my life than i thought.
C: Well i haven't read all the archives...but i definitely will now...i cant believe i've met you....Chuck bass is so popular with everyone here...all the guys want to be like him....he used to own this place right? It was a club?
B: Yeah...it was....that's why i came here...but its changed so much now......(she smiles) shall i tell you a secret?
C: Yeah...i wont tell no one!
B: You see that mesa there...(she points to a table) well when this was a club, that area used to have private rooms...and that table, i think, is where the private room in which me...and Chuck first...you know...did the act. (she giggles)
C: (whispers) Wait...you and Chuck had sex here? over there.
B: Yes....it was our first time...my first time.
C: omfg! That is awesome! (they both laugh)
B: Sshhh...that is something personal ok...
C: What was it like...?
B: It...was the best thing ever...but things only got complicated after that....we had some unforgettable times though...we were a team...even during college we still had a habit of getting up to no good! (she drifts off into a trance for a moment)
Chuck had returned tahanan last night from his business trip to New York...he had gone straight to kama as he was tired....the susunod morning when he woke...he found his precious Blair already awake lying susunod to him.
B: Morning...(she kisses him on the lips)
C: (he yawns) morning....(he wraps his arms around her)
B: I've been thinking....we haven't been out together in a long time...we should do something today
C: Like what?
B: I want to do something silly.
C: (he smiles) Like what baby?
B: Something naughty...something bitchy...(she laughs) I know...there's this girl at Yale, Meeka, that i really dont like...we even had a run in yesterday and i've been refraining myself from getting revenge...but i think it's time for payback....in fact it's times like these that i wish we still had Gossip Girl...i know one of her secrets that would so totally ruin her!
C: You really want to go back to being that bitch?
B: It's just for today...
C: What do you have in mind?
B: She has a boyfriend, Callum Aston, that she's always boasting about because he's a model....as if anyone cares, but anyway, everyone knows she's having this fling with someone in the drama group Kyle...another stuck up snobby guy who thinks he can have anyone....i want to destroy both of them! Just like old times...what do you say?
C: Sure...let's do it.
It didn't take long for them to conjure up a plan...it was simple really...arrange for the model boyfriend to walk in on Meeka and Kyle doing the dirty...not only that but make a live broadcast of it all on the internet for everyone at Yale to see!
The plan was another success...not only had they ruined the girls pag-ibig life, but Blair had got to relive her old personality, the one that she had left behind...and she got to see the old Chuck again! They both sat at their laptop watching the drama unfold. They had rigged the room with a camera and watched Kyle and Meeka having sex just as the conveniently invited Boyfriend had walked in on them...it was hilarious seeing a naked Kyle being beaten up sa pamamagitan ng Callum before running away, still naked...and then a classic break up...all on the internet being watched sa pamamagitan ng many students...it was just like high school!
B: (laughing) that was better than i expected (sits on Chucks lap and puts her arms around his neck)
C: You are the devil aren't you.
B: No...your the devil...and im your reyna B!
C: (laughs and then kisses her) I guess we'll always be bad.
B: I wouldn't have it any other way...(they kiss) I turns me on when you let the bad boy out...it's what attracted me to you in the first place...
C: Really...well we should cause havoc madami often then...It's pretty hot seeing you getting off on doing something naughty...it's what attracted me to you in the first place....
B: I pag-ibig you.
C: I pag-ibig you too.
B & C together: Always have, always will...(they both smile)
They continue to kiss...
C: Blair! ...Blair...(nudges Blair, who suddenly comes back to reality) What happened? You just went in to a trance!
B: Im sorry...i was just remembering something...what were you saying?
C: Umm...i dont remember now....oh yeah...i was just asking.....about Chuck, did you pag-ibig him.
B: (silent for a moment...then she smiles) madami than anything. Always have always will.
C: So why did he leave?
B: Because.......i cheated on him...he didnt believe it was his baby...things got beyond repair so he just left me...it wasn't that long nakaraan really...maybe a week or so.
C: Thats really sad.
B: I know...but you learn things from life.
C: What have you learned?
B A lot...well first...you need to snap out of this reyna B role that your playing...people hate you for who you are deep down...you think they want to be like you? Believe me they dont...they make a choice....they could either be your enemy and have yoghurt thrown on them or rumours spread about them on Gossip Girl or they can be your friend and have an easier time at school, anyone would choose the latter, but it doesnt mean they like you...when they get the chance they'll turn on you and then you'll be a no one...end up at the Ostroff centre and have to leave the city.
C: What? Isn't that a bit extreme?
B: No! It can happen! Believe me i should know! And it's not worth it. You need to get off your high horse...live a decent life...for your self. You should look out for yourself....be good to your friends...you'll need mga kaibigan in the future...you're girlfriends are important, right now my girlfriend is all i have...dont treat your mga kaibigan badly because they will always be there for you, unconditionally. Dont always try to get what you want at other people's expense. look out for each other. But madami importantly, dont let the world get you down...always pick yourself back up again....dont run away from your life just because things get hard...there's always something to live for...even if it isn't what you planned...like a baby...like me.......just because i've Nawawala the one person i planned to be with for the rest of my life...it doesn't mean i should give up....or run away...or forget what's important in my life....i should be looking out for myself...i have a baby on the way....i shouldn't be here wondering about in New York....regretting whats gone on...this is just escapism...it's pathetic...i should be looking out for my baby...i should be strong for it...be happy....my dream was to go to Yale, i've done that....my dream was also not to end up like my parents, they hadn't ibingiay me the real pag-ibig that i needed, that's why i became the asong babae that i was at high school, so desperate for someone to pag-ibig me, i've had to work hard for myself and i've never really been satisfied, i was so desperate to impress, to be the best, i never looked out for myself properly, i looked in all the wrong places for pag-ibig at times when i didnt need love....I just needed to look after No1, me, Blair..and now my baby, whom im going to give the perfect life to and be the perfect mother to. Ok so i Nawawala Chuck...but i have a baby....i need to get on with my life, ilipat on....look at Serena and Dan...they're so happy, they're married...and they're getting on with their lives....i should be doing the same...(she looks up at Chloe with a refreshed smile on her face, Chloe looks confused) You've made me realise that i shouldn't be wasting my time on the past....Chloe...Thank You so much...(she smiles and hugs her)
C: Ok...i dont know what i did...
B: I saw me in you...and i remember being just like you...and i think to myself, i've wasted so much of my life being unhappy, unsatisfied....i cant live like that any more...i've been reyna B, I've lived my dream of Yale, i've had Chuck Bass....but now that's all gone...i need to let go...my baby needs me. Only me. I can do this alone!
C: So what does that mean?
B: It means im going home...to Connecticut....actually this is my home...New York is my home...so i dont know what it means...maybe i could come back here...with Dan and Serena...they were moving here anyway....(she stands up) I need to go...i have so much to do...so many things to do and not much time to do it...They'll be back from their honeymoon soon...i have to get back to New Haven....Chloe....it was so nice talking to you...
C: Yeah...it was nice...thanks for all your advice...
B: Make sure you dont forget everything we talked about....have fun but look after yourself too...(Chloe stands up and Blair hugs her) Goodbye....Queen C!
C: (laughs) Bye...(Blair walks away)
B: Be a good girl now...dont let me down....dont let yourself down!
Blair leaves, finally a true smile on her face. Ok so she had Nawawala the pag-ibig of her life, but time doesn't wait for no man, so it was time for Blair to finally ilipat on...leave all her demons behind and ilipat forward. She would always pag-ibig Chuck Bass, that was for sure, she could never forget him...but he had left, he wasn't coming back so it was time to start over. She would go tahanan refreshed, sort her life out, leave behind old baggage. That meant the first thing she had to do was break up with Zane. She didn't need him to be a constant reminder of the biggest mistake she had made in her life. She would always know where to find him, but she didn't want to be mga kaibigan with him any more, she was leaving all that behind.
She only needed her true friends, Serena and Dan, and her baby of course.
END SCENE
susunod episode will be up in a couple of days!
In it alone.
