This is an EXTRA SAD chapter. Get ready with tissues and a lot of chocolate.
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"Learning how to say Goodbye"

Chapter 4: The Wedding. House POV


The wedding march begins to resound throughout the church. The guests get up and slowly turn to the wooden door. And when it opens, the smiles on their faces let my imagination run free to picture you.

I'm hidden in the most remote part of the church, hoping that you will not see me, hoping not to make you sad on your wedding day.

Today I'm not wearing my usual jeans and un-ironed shirt. I'm wearing a tuxedo, but you'll never know this. Even the guests won't see it, because I plan on leaving before you can say the two words that will end everything.

While I see you moving pasulong with that wonderful dress I think what a lucky man Lucas is. Wilson is susunod to you, accompanying you down the aisle. I laugh because he is madami nervous than you. You look pasulong impassively. Wilson looks rather uncertain, as if he can make you think about going back. But you give him a little nudge, and he returns his gaze to the altar where Lucas awaits you.

I do not know if you're making the right choice, but I hope you're happy with him. I hope you can have your own family, the family that you have wanted for your entire life.

And every single step you take towards the altar makes the memories come to my mind, madami vivid than ever.

I am an idiot, I know. I've spent the last twenty years hiding from you, secretly following you, sabotaging you whenever I could without being overly malicious. And for all these years we have done nothing but build a pader between us, between the past and the present and the future. We must admit to ourselves that we broke through the pader a couple of times. All the times that we have spent together, I think I will miss them all. Well, I'll miss you. I would never admit it to anyone, but I took the biggest step: I admitted to myself.

Now Wilson is halik your hand. He walks down from the altar and sits with the other guests. I can see his tears. I laugh to myself again - he's too emotional. I think he would have been better off if he'd been born as a woman. I haven't even told him that I am here. I have kept it a secret from everyone: I sinabi that I would never come to the wedding and that I would leave after we Nawawala our chance. Oh god! I'm pathetic. Mayfield has made me become emotional! Well, maybe it's not that bad. I've learned so many things over the years that I had never been taught in all my years of study. I know how to pag-ibig someone, I realized my mistake, I deleted a part of my life and now I'm redoing part of it. And I'm losing you. This time it's forever.

You are at the altar and the most amazing thing is to watch you in that beautiful dress. Well, even without that dress you're beautiful. I impassively watch the priest and your future husband. You don't look happy. I haven't even seen you smile. Give me a sign; tell me that you're happy, that we are not making the greatest mistake of your life. I need you to do something. I need you to let me leave this place with the certainty that you're happy and you do not need me anymore.

It's time for the rings. Rachel has just started walking, accompanied sa pamamagitan ng your sister, bringing the rings. I can still see Wilson, comforting your mother. She weeps with joy for this moment in your life. But you do not cry or smile. Who knows what is going through your head.

Rachel finally reaches you. Julia takes the rings and puts them on the mesa susunod to you. He takes your hand and, while expressing his love, he slips the ring on your finger. Now you're taking his ring from the table. I get up and walk outside the church. I don't want to see the scene happening behind me. I want to go out and avoid this thing. I realize it's a bit masochistic on my part to be here. I open the door and go out, just in time not to hear you speak your vows. I walk along the corridor to where Nolan is waiting for me.

I'm leaving again. You don't need me anymore. Since I've known you were getting married I'd wondered how I would live afterwards. I considered various options: returning to Mayfield, moving to another state, I also thought about suicide. I tried but I failed.

"Can we stop sa pamamagitan ng the hospital for a minute?"
"Of course Greg."
"Thanks."

We climb into the car and go to the hospital. I walk past the automatic doors and into your office. I leave a letter for you, hoping that you'll read it and not throw it in the trash.

Lisa
All your nightmares are gone. Now begins your new life.

Unless this is not the life you want.

House

P.S. Your dress was fabulous. You're beautiful.


Nolan approaches me.

"Are you sure?"
"No ..."
"I can wait as long as you need me to. Take all the time you want or need..."
"I'm ok. I have to leave."
"Why do you want to go back to Mayfield?"
"It's the first place that came to my mind."
"Greg ..."
"No. I have to go back there."
"I'll ask my tanong again: are you sure about this whole thing?"
"No."
"Ok. I'll wait for you in the car."

I look at your desk, the one I brought here with your mother's help. At least you'll remember me. I look at the mga litrato you have framed. I take a picture of you and Rachel. I hope you don't mind.

I leave your office for the last time.

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susunod chapter will be up tomorrow morning (Italian time). Get ready for Cuddy's POV.

Lemme know what you think. Comments are always madami that appreciated!

xxx

-Sissi