Disclaimer: I do not have any knowledge whatsoever of Hugh Laurie OR Lisa Edelstein's private lives. No offense is meant sa pamamagitan ng the posting of this ridiculous story--it is only meant to be an excercise in "what if," a hypothetical situation that may have happened or may yet happen, and is not intended for anything beyond fictional enjoyment sa pamamagitan ng respectful fans. That said...

~*~*~
    “Oh, it is just disgusting how happy you two look,” Robert said, but couldn’t stop himself from grinning at them both. “How are you going to explain your sudden onset of compulsive happiness to the general public?”
    “I will distract them sa pamamagitan ng doing this,” sinabi Hugh rakishly, and suddenly gripped Lisa’s upper arm with his fingers, dipping her backwards into his arm and leaning down to halik her soundly on the mouth—just as the door swung open and a startled voice rang out, echoing through the empty stalls.
    “What the hell?”
~*~*~
    “Geez!” Lisa whispered against Hugh’s lips and grabbed at his arm, just barely managing to catch herself before she could hit the floor with a very ungraceful thud. Pulling back and resting his forehead against hers, Hugh reached down and slid his free hand around to the small of her back, lifting her as he turned his back to the person at the door. Looking down at her with only barely concealed panic in his eyes, Hugh swallowed. Ok… this could be bad.
    Lisa’s eyes searched his, plainly trying to reassure him. Then, slowly, she looked around his shoulder to see Robert holding the door closed again, looking at the floor… remaining between the exit and Jesse Spencer.
    “Lisa?” Jesse whispered, staring at them. Hugh remained, nagyelo in place, unwilling to turn and face his fellow actor until he knew what to say. “What—”
    “Jesse…” Lisa started, touching Hugh’s arm gently as she walked around him to speak with her friend. “It’s ok. It’s not what it looks like.”
    “It looked like Hugh was sucking the face off of you,” Jesse spit, his Australian accent creeping in even madami with his anger. “What did he think he was doing?”
    “What was he—” Lisa stopped short and started to laugh in spite of herself. “Sorry. I’m just so used to being the one people are accusing of being too—”
    “Lisa.” Hugh spoke, finally turning around. “May I have a word alone with Mr. Spencer?”
    Lisa’s jaw dropped as she looked from Hugh—to Jesse—to Robert. Finally she threw her hands up. “No. You know what? All of you get out.”
    Hugh started. “What—?”
    “This is the ladies’ room!” Lisa sputtered, beginning to herd them out. Robert couldn’t leave fast enough; Jesse was glaring a hole in Hugh’s head; Hugh was gripping her wrist, trying to slow her down a bit.
    “Lisa…” he whispered. “I’m—”
    “No. Out out out. What the hell was Jesse doing coming in here in the first place? Something is seriously wrong when the ladies are outnumbered three to one in their own restroom, I don’t know what the hell you people are thinking…” her voice faded away as she closed the door and leaned back against it, closing her eyes and falling into the memory of Hugh standing over her, surrounding her, halik her ardently against this very door.
    What was he going to tell them?
~*~*~
    Robert leaned against the pader just outside the bathrooms. Jesse had stalked out of the ladies’ room, three feet forward, into the men’s room. Hugh followed, not sure whether it was appropriate to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. No one was in the men’s room; Jesse was checking the stalls when Hugh stepped inside the door and let it close behind him, leaning back against it. At the end of the row, Jesse finally stopped and put his hands on his hips, glaring into space.
    “Satisfied?” Hugh asked, crossing his arms across his chest.
    Jess took a few long strides pasulong and pulled back his arm, letting fly one well placed fist into Hugh’s diaphragm before the older man realized what was happening.
    “Jesse—you are such—an actor,” Hugh gasped, bending over slightly and raising an eyebrow at him. “Anyone else would’ve ibingiay me a black eye and damned the consequences…”
    “If you really insist,” Jesse said, scowling at him and pulling back again.
    “Whoa!” Hugh grabbed his arm and twisted it back, taking a few steps pasulong and pinning him against the sinks. “Jesse, stop! Let me talk—”
    “Hugh, let go—”
    “Are you going to be reasonable and listen to me?” Hugh demanded, not giving an inch. “I need to know you’re going to hear me out, Jess, and I need to know you’re going to keep your mouth shut if that’s quite all right.”
    “Keep my mouth shut—Hugh, you can’t just use Lisa like that—”
    “I’m not using anyone!” Hugh Laurie gritted his teeth, forced Jesse Spencer to meet his gaze, and bit off his words as he prayed that this wouldn’t come back to haunt him... “I. Am. Divorced.”
~*~*~
    Robert knocked softly on the door. “Lisa? I know you don’t want anyone in there, so would you mind coming out, please?”
    Lisa set her hands on the counter and stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes did look weird… not weird like ‘oh my, look at my eyes, I am so in pag-ibig heart-shaped pupils…’
    Whoa. Lisa shook her head slightly. I am losing it. I’m either completely exhausted, or I hit my head harder than I thought…
    “Coming…” she muttered, turning around and finally leaving. Robert reached for her as soon as she came through the door, draping an arm across her shoulders and looking at her closely. “Robert, I’m fine.”
    “Jesse was so worried about you he stalked me standing outside the girls’ bathroom. When I finally disappeared he busted in and found you in Hugh’s arms, having, as he said, your face sucked off. In the meantime, your eyes are still making me very nervous, you haven’t sat down since you finished with the police, and I want to get you home—or to a hospital—or something.”
    “I don’t need a hospital,” Lisa said, relaxing into Robert’s side and frowning at the door to the mens’ room. Raised voices were starting to seep through but she couldn’t tell what they were saying. “I’ll just go to Hugh’s like we planned, and he’ll make sure I stay up until my pupils are back to normal and no one is worried about my lapsing into a coma.”
    “You do realize Hugh’s not an actual doctor, right?” Robert squeezed her arm. “He just plays one on tv.”
    “Robert.” Lisa glared at him before bursting out laughing. “I cannot believe you just sinabi that.”
~*~*~
    “What do you mean, you’re divorced?”    
    “You know,” Hugh sinabi conversationally as he kept his elbow in the small of Jesse’s back and forced him down against the counter, “trying to sound stern really doesn’t do much when your nose is squished against a mirror.”
    “Then let me up and tell me what the hell you’re talking about,” Jesse sputtered, and Hugh tried very hard not to give him a peevish shove as he let him up.
    “Jesse…” Hugh dry-washed his face and leaned back against the sink, crossing his arms. “This information is not public. Jo and I… she came over and she brought the papers and it’s done. Lisa and I just… we… I don’t know.”
    “That’s not good enough for me,” Jesse said, glaring at him and opening the door—only to encounter Lisa’s raised hand, about to knock.
    “Jesse? Can I talk to you?”
    “Normal people have these conversations in chairs,” Robert all but shouted from behind her. “In rooms where they don’t have to sit on sinks and there’s no possibility of a literal shit storm happening in the background! Normal people don’t—” His voice faded out as Lisa closed the door behind her.
    “Ok,” Lisa said, taking Jesse’s arm and walking him to the side. “I can explain.”