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Fiery waves – the ups and downs of Summer Pride

Chapter 12: Fear and apoy


Let me ask you something! Have you ever been alone? I mean truly alone! When you know for certain, that nopony's around for countless miles? When you're absolutely sure nopony could help if something happened to you? When you sit near a small campfire all sa pamamagitan ng yourself, listening to the deadly silence, gazing into the ether and it seems there's nothing but an empty void beyond that tiny bilog of light? When all the noises die out and your mind calms down... when the time between two heartbeat feel like a millenia... When your entire being shrinks and the shadows of your own deeds tower over you... That's when you start seeing things in the darkness. That's when you start to hear strange echoes of sourceless voices... When you can literary feel the past reaching out with its cold, dead hoof for your soul. And sooner or later... fear will find you. And nopony can hear you scream.

On the first night after I dealt with the savage unicorns, I had to realize, I've never been truly alone. In all my life, I was surrounded sa pamamagitan ng ponies; it sort of came with my title... I was a Princess and spent my early years in the bustling capital of Unicornia. Even in my exile I had companions. But all that was taken away from me, I had nothing. It was the first time I experienced that frightening, mapait aspect of loneliness.

This feeling and I got acquainted over the years we know each other very well now. However, on that night, all this was new to me. New and threatening. I curled up in a ball, using my far flung tail as a cover, feeling very small and vulnerable. I know you find it odd to hear me say that, especially now when you know what I did to those who took away my changeling friends. Yes I learned something that not even two wars were able to teach me... Cruelty. And I warn you: as my story progresses and you'll see how I treated those who dared to oppose me over the centuries; you will very much likely see me as a monster. But why should I hide who I am, or what I've done? This is the basic difference between me and the changelings. This is why the connection I thought I had with them was merely an illusion. Because I don't hide my inner self, like they do...

Hmm... You've been a very good listener so far and I can see very clearly that you crave more... you tilt your head a little to the left, as a sign of interest and excitement. Well, I'm flattered! It's been a very long time, since somepony was hanging on my words like this. Haven't met a parang buriko who has so many things to tell, yes? Don't give me that look, I'm just teasing you, haha! All right, let me clear my throat and let's pick up the thread once again.


So there I was, in the middle of the desolation without any pagkain water, or shelter. I managed to find some dry twigs to make a small campfire. That was the only thing that stood between me and the infinite darkness. I never did really like the night, like my son... but I had no control over anything, of course. As I think about it, my life have always been determined sa pamamagitan ng some unexplainable, unknown force. This power always remained beyond my comprehension. It also gifted me with some pleasurable centuries... and awful ones as well. Yes, I understand it better now with my old head, but at that time, little did I know I was very-very young and the things I've been through were merely the beginning; a small opening act of a life overarching 10 000 years. But one can sense deep within, when her life comes to a change, wouldn't you agree? At the depths of my soul, I felt that one part of my journey has come to an end, only to make way for something even bigger... something I was destined for, even though I always refused it with great passion.

Say, have you heard the old rumor that Celestia has a photographic memory? Everything she's seen, heard, thought and done is engraved in her brain, that is why she's so wise... I think that must be true, because I'm very much like her. But my mind is madami like a dark chest with many drawers... All I'm doing when I share my story with you, a perfect stranger, the only one who listens; is that I'm opening these drawers. One at a time. So I'll open another one, to make you see how I returned tahanan and took the throne... but there were obstacles in the way of course.

After the meltdown, my magical aura was drained and I wasn't sure if I could protect myself if something unexpected happened in that cursed desert. I have wandered too far, to a land where no equine has ever set hoof before and my situation was dire to say the least. There was nothing between me and the cold night. I was naked in the darkness. And as I said: fear eventually found me.

Fear can come in many forms; this time, it infiltrated my dreams. My visions were blurry and dark and I awakened to my own desperate scream in the middle of the night. I was covered in cool sweat, my snow white amerikana bristled up in the wind; I could feel every single hair that covered my skin.

I remembered only one thing: the kastilyo of First Magic in flames! My mother, Scarlet Sunrise was a very spiritual parang buriko and she taught me, that there are some things beyond our primitive reckoning. I knew that this was no mere dream, but a premonition. Although I could not recall anything else from the nightmare, I certainly remember the sudden urge that overwhelmed me. I was unable to spend even one madami minuto at that place, my hooves were tingling and the desolation beckoned me.

Desert dwellers say that the night is not for riding. And I alone could name at least twenty good reasons for that, but my rational mind was blocked out sa pamamagitan ng this unsettling sense of danger. I stood up and ran into the darkness, not caring about my own safety. The rising Moon and the stars were my guides, as I crossed the barren. Time Nawawala its meaning; I had no idea for how long I was running, or where did I manage to utilize such great strength after what I've been through that day. I locked my eyes on the constellation called Canis Major, knowing Unicornia lies somewhere far away in that direction.

My actions may seem odd, but I learned over a thousand lifetimes, that it is always wise to listen to these inner instincts, especially your first hunch. As I grew older, this skill kept improving. I don't know how to explain it, but it happened quite often: a tiny glimpse of the future revealed itself to me in my dreams. Perhaps it's because my Element enhances my aura, thus I have a stronger connection with the magical flow itself, which surrounds us all... I'm not sure, since I never fully understood this gift.

Ha ha ha! No, I'm not all-knowing, my dear; I don't know what you'll do in the susunod minute. I merely see a faint image for a brief moment sometimes. A snapshot of some things that might occur. And it's a very strange experience too. Because once you look into the future; it changes, exactly because you looked into it. When I finish my story, you'll understand.

Nevertheless, we're talking about the past now; about a young, unknowing mare, who runs through an endless desert to find her way back home; driven sa pamamagitan ng an unexplainable instinct. So now I'm going to put the mare in the middle of a yungib of Hysterias and reveal to her a new aspect of her power as she fights for her life.

Have you ever encountered a Hysteria? No, I didn't think so. This ancient race of nocturnal scavengers are extinct. Or are they? Nopony knows. There are many mysteries left unsolved from those troubled times, especially after the Great Temple of Knowledge burnt down... One thing is sure though: a Hysteria is a deadly enemy. I can best describe it as half hyena and half timberwolf. Their muscular body is covered with harsh, spiky fur; a sea of blood dries on their long, dirty claws and their wicked laughter could fill up the puso of even the bravest ponies with cold fear. Their greenish yellow eyes are lifeless, as they flash in the dark. These creatures could have been the kings among the animals, if it weren't for their ungainly hind legs. They can't run for longer distances, so they only eat the offal, that was left after madami successful predators.

But a Hysteria never comes alone; they hunt in packs. They are voracious eaters, every small, weak, or wounded animal becomes their prey. They sense the negative energies of fear and suffering; it attracts them from miles. And I was afraid... very-very afraid. Maybe that was the first time in my life when I truly experienced pure fear. All the battles I've fought, all the wars I've been through never seemed as scary and sinister as the loneliness in that desert and the nightmare that kept haunting my mind, pursuing me relentlessly through the wasteland.

I was so foolish back then. I was unable to learn from my own mistakes; the mistake I tended to make over and over again. I let my emotions blind me. You have no idea how difficult it is for somepony like me, who feels too much, to force herself not to feel. Despite my mother's best efforts, I was incapable of controlling my extreme emotions in my early years, even though I thought I had the power for that. Yes, I was in control most of the time... in everyday life for example. But when something unexpected happened that affected me on a larger scale, I Nawawala my grip on my feelings, allowing them to overwhelm me and assume control over my actions. And like before, I had to pay the price for my foolishness, since life has a cruel way of teaching a lesson.

As I ran in the darkness, relying on the shimmery light the stars provided, I tripped over something on the tuktok of a large dune. I was a pretty fast runner, but my speed turned against me. I heard a loud crack in the susunod moment. The tremor of pain rampaged through my body as I fell and rolled downhill uncontrollably. The sand got in my eyes and nostrils and my stomach turned upside down as I rolled over several times, like a toy of gravity. My head eventually smashed against a huge rock, that stopped my fall. Shiny circles were dancing in front of my eyes as my consciousness faded away into nothingness.

When I came to, I was lying on my back; I remember the sand was still warm. I looked up to the sky and determined from the angle of the stars, that I was outcold for about an oras or so. It was a subconscious instinct. As a unicorn Princess, I was required to have proper education and a wide array of knowledge, including astronomy. But I only realized the madami important thing a minuto later. I was... moving. Not sa pamamagitan ng myself of course, the untold pain in my foreleg immediately reminded me of that. I tilted my head a little and my mouth formed a silent scream because of what I saw.

A bulky creature, with long ocher balahibo was chewing on my right hind-leg, slowly dragging me in the process! I gasped for air in shock and disbelief and the cruel eyes of the beast flashed in the darkness as it recognized that I was still alive. It let out an animalistic growl, but my reaction was rapid and instinctive. My horn fired a crimson beam of magic that struck the beast in the face, forcing it to let go of my leg. It was howling in pain, but turned against me at once. I barely had the time to shake my head, when the Hysteria's jaw snapped only an inch away from my nose. I knew I was in a perfectly vulnerable position; lying on the ground with a severely injured leg, yet my brain recalled one of the combat practices I had with my brother Forever Wind, who was a great warrior despite all his flaws. Heck, he created several martial art techniques, that are still in use among the Royal Guard! He was a good teacher as well. An image of the past flashed before my eyes. We were at the practice field in his fortress. I still remember his firm hooves touching mine; the gentle, yet determined way he forced them into movement. I could even hear his strong, resolute voice, whispering to my ear.

“Always aim for the weak spots!” Wind said. “There are many softer spots on the body, like the nose, the chin, the cardia, or the groin. Strike from below and strike fast! Put all four legs into good use! Your hind legs are as much of a reliable weapon as your front hooves. Your attack will surprise or even blind your enemy for a segundo and that's a huge advantage in the battle.”

As my brother's words echoed in my mind, the dreadful scavenger towered over me, ready to put me out of my misery. I used the last reserves of my physical strength and kicked the beast in the groin as hard as I could. I must say, in the susunod centuries, many ponies got acquainted with my firm hooves. They could be very warm and sensual, if I run them down on a stallion's cheek for example in an intimate moment... and they can be a pinagmulan of cold anguish as well, to crush my enemies.

The Hysteria roared in pain and fell on its back. I seized the opportunity without hesitation. I did what I had to. I hogged, pointing my sharp horn at the chest of the creature, not caring about the suffering the dislocated foreleg caused me. My body was filled with adrenaline, and my senses sharpened in the danger. Although I could only stand on three legs, my speed was fast enough. I craned my neck and ran forward, using my horn as a spear. The Hysteria got up again and raised its muscular arm to strike me down. The timing was perfect. The beast left its chest in a vulnerable position and my aiming was surprisingly accurate...

A segundo before I reached the scavenger, I could not resist the urge to close my eyes. Then I felt something warm traveling down my face: the blood of the Hysteria. My horn pierced its flesh and went through his puso like a sharp blade made of the finest steel. The beast rattled and squirmed for a little, then its lifeless body collapsed, almost pulling me down as well. My horn slid oout of the wound, revealing a small gap in the Hysteria's chest.

I stood over the body of the defeated enemy, unable to move. Then a desperate, mapait howl slashed through the silence of the desert night. Soon, it was followed sa pamamagitan ng another... and another. Every noise came from a different direction; they were all around me. I was surprised. Not because I wasn't alone, deep down I somehow knew that already. But because of the sad tones of those howls. These bloodthirsty creatures sensed the loss of one of their kind and actually mourned him! I know it sounds strange, but that specific sorrowful sound could not be mistaken for anything else.

I just stood there immovably, piercing my eyes into the darkness. Every muscle in my body strained, as I was suspecting another attack. But nothing happened for several minutes. I knew I could not run away; I wouldn't have gotten far with my injured leg. So I decided I shall stand my ground. The suspense was getting on my nerves and I felt the familiar thrill resurrecting in my soul. It slowly coiled around my throat, like fiery tendrils, then went into my head. My puso was beating fast, I could hear the blood rushing in my ears. The weakness was gone and so was the pain, even though I was still unable to put any weight on my dislocated right foreleg.

My vision enhanced and spotted a silhouette of a Hysteria in the distance. It was pacing around, like if it was sizing up the situation. Then they attacked. Not from the front where I was expecting it, no. From the sides! Two beasts charged at me from the left and the right at once. After this point, everything went down pretty fast, although it felt like I saw every event in slow motion.

The scarlet aura of magic surrounded my horn and an invisible, strong hoof suddenly pinned me to the ground. I didn't know what happened; I was helpless. But it turned out this sudden manifestation of magic occurred just in time. The two Hysterias ran into each other, as they jumped on me. If my horn haven't forced me to the ground, they would have slashed my throat, but instead, their jaws snapped on thin air before they crashed. The beasts fell down and I rose. I turned left and raised my uninjured arm, while a vicious roar escaped my chest. The thick haze of anger settled on my mind once madami and my blazing hoof smashed the skull of the Hysteria to pieces. Without seeing the result, I turned my head back. The other scavenger barely had the time to stand up, before the crimson blast of my horn turned it into ashes.

The other beasts were howling again, but this time, there were no sad tones, just pure voracity and rage. A group of three came at me from the darkness with a killer instinct. I turned around and stomped my left hoof on the sand. A fiery path emerged from the ground, originating from my hoof, heading towards the attackers, like a flaming snake. Before it reached them, it separated into four new paths, incinerating every Hysteria in the group with a large explosion. Until that night, I didn't know I was capable of such precision; my nakaraan meltdowns always set the rough power of my Element free. This was entirely different. This time, I felt I was in control. Hah! What a naive thought!

But it was not over yet. Every beast I killed, made the rest of the pack angrier and madami vicious. They did not give up so easily and attacked in larger groups. None could get near me, the flaming paths reached them faster and lit up the darkness. However, there were still too many of them. Several Hysterias managed to avoid the fiery death, only to encounter another manifestation of my magic to their surprise... and mine.

Although it may seem to you that I planned my actions precisely, it couldn't be further from the truth. I wasn't thinking at all; I merely relied on my instincts, letting my Element react to the threats around me. Soon the night turned into day, as my horn started to produce fireballs...

The Hysterias kept coming, many of them attempted to jump on me, but the blazing comets my magic was creating evaporated them in the air, before they could reach me. I don't know how many of them I killed, but I know for certain my lust for blood grew with every life I've taken. I think it was the same sinful pleasure I felt when I destroyed the savage mga kabayong may sungay who slaughtered my changeling friends, but this time, I was aware of the thought: I... enjoyed it. And I was relentless. A dark, satanic grin distorted my face as I locked my eyes on the escaping Hysterias. My horn formed a blazing white fireball. The bitterness and rage of every single ordeal I've been through over the years was forged into this one single spell I had no knowledge of before. Letting it out was sensational. Yes, I can see it in your eyes you already know what I'm talking about... you are correct! The supernova spell...

The fireball wrote down a dainty arch in the air before it crashed into the earth on the horizon. A giant kabute ulap towered over the wasteland and shook the ground. Despite the powerful shock wave, I stood still until the dust settled down after a while. There was no doubt: I eliminated the threat...

Then I gazed at my dislocated foreleg, like if it wasn't the part of my own body. Without even thinking about it, I made a rapid and strong motion, similar to a shrug. With a loud crack, my leg reacquired the healthy position, the “problem” was solved. Although the pain was indescribable and my muscles trembled in misery. I wavered, but managed to keep my balance, but the anguish made me even angrier.

“AAAARGHHH!” I roared foaming with rage. “WHO ELSE WANT SOME?!!!”
 The Hysteria
The Hysteria
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Joel - *drinks drink while watching sunset from his penthouse*


-Everything was chill they were thinking. So did I.-


Mare - Phone Hun. *view him phone*
Joel - Yup?
Dimitri - Look outside old friend.
Joel - *notices SWAT* what the. Dimitri it's you right what is happening!
Dimitri - Don't act dumb. BlackNET got Leaked. We has a daga inside all along. Run away.
Joel - I have kids and wife!
Dimitri - We got them in Van. Jake is waiting at safehouse. Same location.

-some time later-

Joel - *opens vault* Alright. *takes shit and wears it*


-Well. I rather think that this is madami normal than chill life-

Joel -...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
After a few days of training, Guy was back in his tent with Black Tuesday.

Guy: Three days of running, obstacles, and all that other shit Sargent Pride is making us do.. If the Vietcong don't kill me, the training exercises will.
Black Tuesday: It's not all that bad. You just try to run too fast.
Guy: Do I now?
Black Tuesday: Yeah. Didn't you notice everyone else was behind you when you were running?
Guy: No. I think I was just too busy trying to complete the damn thing to notice anyone behind me.
Summer Pride: *Blows a whistle* EVERYPONY OVER HERE ON THE DOUBLE!!!!
Guy: *Runs with Black Tuesday towards...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
Slash - *looks around the murder scene wich is pinkies house*
Ace - I see nothing.
Slash - Well I do see some apples. The died out of strong kick I assume.
Ace - UT the autopsy say-
Slash - Poison. soro used poison. But segundo coming was another Killer. Wich is... *looks up on cealing* Haaa... *looks on mesa and points on mansanas pie* AppleJack.
Ace - What! How can you be so sure.
Slash - She came In and gave Pinkie the mansanas pie. Problem is. *cuts pie in half* Half of it is poison. While segundo part is hallucigen. She probably saw monster or something kicked her almost dead body and ran away tripping...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Round 7 is beginning

Pinkie Pie: *Gets into the teleporter with everypony else* Now remember, we won't use the teleporter until a zombie gets near us. That way, we can kill it with the lightning that comes out.
Twilight: Rightning?
Pinkie Pie: Das is correct.
Zombies: *Appearing from barriers*

The theater started to shake.

Rainbow Dash: Uh-oh. I think we got some new mga kaibigan coming to sumali the party.
Applejack: *Shoots a zombie* You see what happens when you touch Applejack?
Rainbow Dash: But he didn't even touch you.
Applejack: Exactly.
Pinkie Pie: *Sees a zombie getting very close* Now! *Uses the...
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posted by Canada24
Spike: Uh, Twilight? Where's your castle?

Twilight: The map pulled us back, but whatever Starlight did in the past changed things here!

Spike: But why? And how did we get here? Where's here?

Twilight: madami like when.

Saten: (annoyed) Please Twilight, that's such a douche time-traveler thing to say.

Twilight: Whatever.. Point is, Starlight altered bituin Swirl's spell, then somehow used it on the map to travel into the past and change something!

Saten: It's obvious what it i-

Twilight: Saten, please.. Anyway. Once she did, the map pulled us back to the present!

Spike: So we're back where— I mean, when...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
When the shift was over, kendi was thinking about something.

Tim: *Turning right into the police station's parking lot* What's on your mind?
Candy: I'll tell you tomorrow.
Tim: Can't you tell me now?
Candy: I'm thinking about how to stop that suspect. I haven't worked out all the details, but when I do, I think it will work.
Tim: *Parks the car in the parking lot* Can't wait to hear what you have planned. *Walks away*
Candy: *Watching Tim get into his Viper, and drive away*
Julia: *Arrives* Hey, what happened?
Candy: With what? The pursuit?
Julia: Yeah. My partner gets sore when he doesn't catch a...
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Shadow - Will he mange to do it?
Dan - He is smart... How I created Him.
Shadow - What if he rebel?
Dan - Don't worry, he believes in friendship.
??? - Friendship IS Magic...
Dan - Hahaha... Right... I hope he will use his new power well
Shadow - Power of Creation?
Dan - No... Power of free will... They both have it now. And he can change slomeone soul with it. I hope and I believe he can do it.

Episode 10
When creation gain free will
-_--_---

Darkness - Huh. Where are you...
Hunter - HAHAHAHAHAHA *attacks him from behind*
Darkness - *there is puno that blocks an attack*
Hunter - *but puno fall under force*...
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posted by Canada24
Twilight: Those look yummy, Pinkie! Let me help you! But we better cover them up so they don't get spoiled.

Pinkie: Why would they get spoiled? We're all gonna eat them super soon!

Saten: Oh, didn't anybody tell you? Shining Armor and Cadance are held up. They may not arrive 'til Saturday.

Pinkie: Whaaaaaaaaaat?! [hyperventilating] You mean... [breathes] I have... [breathes] to wait... [breathes] another whole day?! I don't know if I can!

Twilight: Pinkie Pie, do you have something you need to say? You seem like you've been keeping something in.

Pinkie: [inarticulate yell]

Fluttershy: We're here...
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As the group of bayani made it upstairs, Sean had a plan.

Sean: Charmy, you go with Knuckles, and find two boats for us.
Charmy: You got it.
Knuckles: We'll go find them for you. *Flies off the bangka with Charmy*
Sean: Dash, take these. *Gives her time bombs* Put these around the hall. Vector, and Mighty, you go with her.
Vector: Roger.
Sean: The rest of you on me. *Walks towards Sonic*

Rainbow Dash was planting one bomb on a wall, when Twilight appeared.

Twilight: Well well well, look who we have here.
Rainbow Dash: Twilight Sparkle. You're still working for Eggman?
Twilight: Fuck yeah man,...
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posted by Canada24
"Well.. I guess I should get going" Ditto said, starting to leave.

"Wait.. One last favour sweetie... How would you feel about being the susunod captain?" Celestia asked.

".. What?" Ditto asked, a bit confused.

"As you may or may not being aware.. Shining Armour and his lovely wife are too busy with The Crystal Empire.. So the guards need a new leader. And they saw how skilled of a fighter you are.. So they want you" Celestia replied.

"Oh.. Well., Guess I could do that.. I mean.. Why not" Ditto replied.

"(kisses his cheek) Good boy.. Let me ipakita you to your new office" Celestia said, and lead him further into the castle.
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 This is it
This is it
The Low Riders were still waiting on the bridge going over the train tracks from the station.

Cavalier Pony: *Arrives in a red Cavalier*
Corvette Pony: Here he is.
Cavalier Pony: *Gets out of his car* What are we waiting for? We gonna race?
Corvette Pony: Yes. Let's do it.
Julia: They're getting into their cars.
Tim: *Gets on the radio* GT24, we're still observing the suspects. Another parang buriko joined them in a red 1995 Cavalier. So far, we can't tell if the car has any license plates. We can only see the front of it.
Dispatch: Ten-4 24. What is your current location?
Tim: Round Freeway. The four...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme song >>>> link

Taxi Ponies: *Driving taxi cabs to the station*

Ponies On The Rails

Starring the Union Pacific ponies

Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Railway Pony: *Driving freight train across a bridge going over the train tracks at the station.*
Metal Gloss: *Drives freight train under bridge*
Pony: *In the station, buying a ticket. As soon as he gets the ticket, he runs across the platform, and boards his train.*
Hawkeye: *Preparing train for departure*
Stylo: *Looking at orders on paper*
Hawkeye:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Sadren was driving to a scrapyard to kill Francis and Molly. However, he didn't notice Jon and Frank on their motorcycles.

Jon: Canterlot 15 Mary-3 and 4, we found one of the suspects from the bank robbery, it looks like he has two hostages with him. *Rides behind the car*
Frank: That other parang buriko is holding on for life Jon.
Jon: We need to catch up before he falls off.
Sadren: *Turns right into the scrapyard, and stops the car, and stops near a crane*
Francis: What are we doing here?
Sadren: Your car will be hoisted into the air sa pamamagitan ng that kreyn in front of us. It picks up anything made out of metal,...
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posted by Canada24
Minuette: (awkwardly) So, uh, what are you studying these days?

Moon Dancer: Science, magic, history, economics, pottery. Things like that.

Minuette: Yowza! [chuckles] You planning on being a professor or something?

Moon Dancer: No.

Minuette: So you're just... studying?

Moon Dancer: (rolls eyes) Can I go now?

Twilight: Moon Dancer, please.

Saten: Yeah, Don't be rude.

Minuette: It's all right, Twilight. We're having a good time. Right, everypony?

Twinkleshine, Saten, Spike, and limon Hearts: [unsure sounds]

Minuette: So, uh... Spike, tell Moon Dancer that story 'bout how Twilight had to read a book about...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
When Case kraker returned to the Pizzeria with Gordon and Sam, they told Jim about their success.

Jim: Alright, great job you three. Now, time for lunch. I'm buying. Want any pizza?
Sam: I'll take mine with broccoli, and onions.
Case Cracker: I'd like some pineapple on mine.
Gordon: Get me sausage.
Jim: How many slices would you like?
Sam: I'll take two.
Case Cracker: Two.
Gordon: Just one for me.
Jim: Okay. *Goes to order pizza*
Sam: We did great.
Case Cracker: A clean kill. No madami cop.

They enjoyed their pizza. susunod day, Gordon was sleeping when Case kraker walked into his home.

Gordon: Case, what...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, joyreactor
posted by Seanthehedgehog
asno asno Inn

Starring bahaghari Dash as Marisa Sayers
Double Scoop as Lloyd
Saten Twist as Mercury
Pleiades as Joanna
Master Sword as George
Mortomis as Ranger
Blaze as Richard

At the asno asno Inn, everyone was sad. A parang buriko was dead.

Lloyd: Mercury was a good boss, a good friend, and-
Mercury: I'm not the one that died.
Audience: *Laughing*
George: It was Donovan who was killed. He was doing a job, killing a parang buriko for creating counterfeit money, when the police shot him to death from behind.
Marisa: He also had some jobs for me.
Ranger: Really?
Richard: What kind of jobs?
Marisa: Blowjobs.
Audience:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Video Game Troll

Starring Sean the hedgehog as Fox335
Mortomis as Kadillack
Other players in this match are real players, and are not portrayed sa pamamagitan ng any actors.

Today's game: Grand Theft Auto 5

Fox335: *Driving a Red Coquette through Blaine County*
Kadillack: You know? This is the only good Grand Theft Auto game. Every other game has either bad graphics, or terrible gameplay. Usually, it's both.
klk321: Yo, you're insulting the best video game franchise ever.
Fox335: No, the best game franchise ever is Gran Turismo. You don't have to murder others just to win a race.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Golfing

Starring Tom Foolery as Otis
Master Sword as Chip
Snow Wonder as Elena
Heartsong as Casey
Cosmic bahaghari as Olson
Mortomis as Caddy
Blaze as Mitchell

A golf course was just constructed in Ponyville. Otis, and Chip were playing against each other.

Chip: Watch this. I'm gonna hit the ball with the 3 wood, and it's gonna hit the flag pole, and go right into the hole.
Otis: But we're already on the fairway, and you'll just hit the ball out of bounds.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chip: Just watch me! *Grabs 3 wood, and hits the ball*

The ball rocketed to the flagpole. It hit the pole, and fell into the hole....
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Pierce Hawkins
Pierce Hawkins
In San Franciscolt, the police were being notified about the bank robbers.

Police parang buriko 36: *On phone* Right. We'll alert all of our units now. Thanks again. *Hangs up* We got news from LA everypony. Four bank robbers are coming here sa pamamagitan ng train. They just robbed a bank, and got on the train as fast as they could.
Police parang buriko 94: We need to tell the commissioner.
Police parang buriko 36: I'll notify him, and you must tell Detective Hawkins about it.
Police parang buriko 94: I will.

Detective Hawkins was a green earth parang buriko with kahel hooves. He was pulling over a parang buriko in a station wagon for speeding when he heard...
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