“My mother once told me when I go to heaven, I’ll hear all the mga kerubin pag-awit Amazing Grace to welcome me home…”
***
Bullets were whizzing by. The apoy from machine mga baril was still going on. I knew I needed to get back to my unit. It was just the tanong of how.
I had gotten out of the war zone and was making my way through the dense jungle, clearing my head and trying to get a good feel for where I was and how I could get back to my unit.
I heard a crunch behind me. I whirled around, gun aimed at the person. I smile and relax. It was only Rick. My buddy from my unit.
“Man, am I glad to see you.” He says.
“Yeah, I know.” I grin. “You know where they were headed?”
“Said something about the camp south of Saigon. I think that’s our best bet.” Rick says, starting to walk forward.
I follow behind him, keeping an eye on whats going on behind us.
We walked and talked for a couple hours, making our way through the jungle, battling towards Saigon.
“Heard from your family?” Rick asked from ahead of me.
I smile. My family was the only thing that kept me sane. My saving grace.
“I got a letter from (Y/N) a couple days ago. Grace wrote me a note and drew me a picture, it’s real cute.” I grin. “Logan sent me a picture of something, but I’m not to sure what it is. Maybe a football. Or a car.” I chuckle, turning around, keeping watch. “And,” I grin, “I got a sonogram of the little guy. Or little girl, rather. Faith Elizabeth.”
“Aw, man, congrats.” Rick turns and smiles at me. “So you’ll have a 6 taon old, 3 taon old, and a 3 buwan old when you get home?
“That’s the idea. Unless they discharge me early. How’s the girlfriend?” I say. Rick was a taon older than me, but wasn’t married yet.
“Hanging in there,” he says tiredly.
“Aren’t we all,” I say quietly. “Aren’t we all.”
My thoughts are interrupted sa pamamagitan ng the sudden sound of a gunshot. I see Rick collapse to the ground, blood spraying out from him.
I stand my ground, a look for where the bullet came from. I knew it wasn’t an ambush; if it was, I’d be dead already.
I see the one Vietnamese solider, aiming to shoot me, but I pull the trigger first. I hit him square in the chest, and he falls to the ground. The sixteenth man I had killed.
There’s another one behind him who aims at me.
We pull the trigger at the same time.
My bullet is faster and I see him hit the ground just as his bullet hits me in the leg.
And I crumple to the ground.
I fall in slow motion almost, not even realizing the pain. Everything is seen and heard in this haze. Rick’s moans pull me out of this trance.
I try to stand up to go help him, but my leg turns to jelly, and the sharp pain runs up my body. The bullet must have tore through the muscle and broke part of my leg. I need to go help Rick.
So I drag myself over to Rick. His chest is covered in the sticky, sweet, red blood. He’s starting to breath heavily now.
“Hey buddy,” I say, trying my best not to sound completely lost. “You’re doing fine. I’m gonna get you outta here. Right?” I say. I’m reassuring myself madami than him. I rip off the part of my pants that had been shot through, and apply pressure to his wound. I want to vomit. His chest is all ripped up muscle.
“Make… Sure… You… Get this…to… Lynn.” He manages to say. Each word pains him as he reaches into his pocket and hands me a letter.
“Yeah, buddy. I’ll get it to her.” I say, applying madami pressure to the wound.
I know it’s no use when he starts coughing up blood. He starts convulsing, then goes still, eyes rolled into the back of his head. I turn away, but still I am applying pressure to the wound. He can’t be gone. I press harder. He. Can’t.Be. Gone.
I take my hands away from him and lean back. I clasp my hands over my mouth as the silent tears begin to roll down my cheeks.
I reach down and close his eyes. I can’t stand to look at them.
I just start screaming. Hell I’m loosing it.
I’ve been screaming and crying for a long time. It could only be a minute, but it feels like hours. Days even.
I try to stand up again, but fail and crumple to the ground in a heap. I get my canteen, open it up to my mouth, to find nothing in it. Damn it. I had forgotten to fill it at the stream. I was dehydrating fast, and needed to get some water. The nearest stream I remember seeing was almost two miles away. I couldn’t drag myself that far.
And then I remember Rick. My eyes go to his canteen. I reach hungrily towards it, and grab it off him. Before I open it, I stop to think how sick it is, drinking your dead friend’s water to save yourself, and I shake my head, clearing the thought.
I open the canteen, hold it up to my mouth, take a sip, and immediately spit it out.
His canteen had filled with blood from his gunshot wound.
I just laid on the ground. There was no use fighting anymore. I was going to die here, either from the wound, the dehydration, or going crazy.
And then the fog came, along with the hallucinations.
I couldn’t tell what was real or not. I saw (Y/N) smiling at me. I saw Grace
playing Barbies out here. I saw Logan laughing and playing with his race cars. Faith’s sonogram flashed into my head, over and over. I was never going to meet her.
Thousands of tanong went through my head. Why were in this stupid war anyways? I don’t know. Why was I in this war? I did it for a job… It would feed my family.
My family.
All of a sudden I saw (Y/N) smiling at me again. I saw Grace playing Barbies, and Logan with his race cars. Faith’s sonogram. I had to meet her.
I started army crawling. I was going to get somewhere. Either to my unit or another camp site, even water, I didn’t care. I needed to get back. I needed to feed my family. I would get somewhere.
But then I stop. The searing pain in my leg just gets worse. I wince and keep going. I’ve made it a couple yards, I’ll be fine if I just keep going.
My vision starts to fade. No. Not yet. I can’t go.
“Amazing grace…” I hear a voice sing. No, no. I can’t go yet. My mother once told me when I go to heaven, I’d hear all the mga kerubin signing Amazing Grace to welcome me home.
My daughter Grace really was amazing. And so was (Y/N). And Logan. And Faith. The baby I’d never meet but was in pag-ibig with anyways. My family was my amazing, saving grace. God, take care of them.
“…how sweet, the sound. Was blind, but now, I see.”
***********************************
My feels.
