serye ng takip-silim Article: Twilight Jokes

2

posted by KateKicksAss

I found these online, and thought they were kinda funny, :)
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b l o g s p o t.com

How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!

Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as or madami beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!

How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!

How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

Why can't Edward read Bella's mind?
There's nothing to read.

Jasper will never be a therapist because he already knows "how you feel about that".

I keep wanting to steal Jasper
but everytime I go to his bedroom window
Alice is waiting with a baseball bat...
how does she kno... oh yeah!!!

Dear Diary,
I would like to La Push Jacob of a cliff.
pag-ibig Edward

I went to La Push Washington, and all I got was this stupid imprint.

Jasper Hales first job was as a paperboy, there were no survivors.

Tips for guys trying to find a girlfriend:
1. Read the Twilight Saga.
2. Watch Twilight movies.
3. In every real-life situation, think, "What would Edward do?

Boy: You know Edward Cullen isn't real, right?
Girl: Well fake boobs aren't real, but you still like to look at those!

Dear Edward,
Thanks a lot...
sincerely,
Guys everywhere

marthatsal and Smib like this

Manonx Haha =D

Smib lol these are very funny :D

graystone cute:)

marthatsal !!! :) lovely!

DWLoverTBCEDT I love those, those are great!

samikshatal lol..http://images.fanpop.com/images/emoticons/smile.jpg

eslisle4254 lol

bookworm9000 Lol

27

New Story - Chapter 13

posted by dinosteph

From the beginning:

link

Lets get caught up!:

“Why do you have to create so many problems?” She hissed back, finally turning her head to face me. He eyes were dark.

“Rose.” Emmett warned quietly.

“No. Edward’s not here. Don’t tell me what to do.” She hissed at Emmett and then stared back out the window.

I suddenly felt like this was a mistake. Rose could hate me. I really didn’t mind.

“Did you know that everyone is all packed and ready to go?” Rose sinabi from the corner. “And then you happened.” Emmett just sat there shaking his head

“Ignore her. She’s just upset about...

6

The Denali's

posted by AdaLove

The Denali Coven is a vampire coven that consists of Tanya, Kate, Carmen, Eleazar, and Garrett. The Denalis are some of the only vegetarian Bampira in the world, along with the Cullen Family. They are also very close to the Cullens, being some of the Cullens' most loyal allies and considering themselves an extended family. The Denali Coven is located in Denali, Alaska so that its members can live alongside humans without too much trouble.The Denali Coven are the other vampire coven that are 'vegetarian'(yellow-eyed). They are considered the Olympic Coven's (Cullen Family) cousins.

History

Originally,...

9

Sunrise Part 6

posted by Bella_Swan3

-Renesmee-

As soon as Jacob points out the bangka that's ours, I get on. He climbs in after me and sets the GPS system.

I start programming the sleek seacraft to my satisfaction and as soon as we are about 100 meters away from the harbour, Jacob comes up behind me. I shiver lightly. It's almost dusk. Jacob folds his arms around my waist, and I turn to smile at him.

"I can't concentrate when you do that," I complain lightly. He doesn't release his grip. I don't want him to.
"How much longer, captain?"
"Maybe half an hour."

Eventually, I begin to see the small shape of some far off piece of land.

"There...

8

Alice's New Moon

posted by just_bella

Recap Chapter 2

Once they were settled I had Emmett go help Jasper hang the lights. I had to keep looking out the door and yell at them because the strings were flying at each others heads and I would be really mad if they broke and this didn't turn out the way I planned.

I got everything done for the night, we all sat around and talked until Esme announced that Edward and I better get going if we didn't want to be late for school.

I asked everyone to help get anything that I forgot(yeah right.) Esme sinabi that she would balutin the rest of the presents and Rosalie even offered to help Esme set...

5

The story never ends, it’s just beginning - Part 21

posted by sasie_katje88

I'm back, i'll put one up later today too enjoy and yet again, sorry for mistakes

Bella's pov

Edward drove very gentile, he knew what my reaction would be if he drove to fast with Mason in the car. So it took a while before we arrived home. When we finally did we both walked out of the car and I took Mason, he was sleeping now so I took him gently in my arms. Suddenly Renesmee comes running out the door
“Mom, Dad, you’re home” she sinabi full of excitement.
“Of course, we are, what did you think that we weren’t coming tahanan anymore, Edward sinabi amused and with a smile on his face.
“Very...

5

Tainted Blood chapter two

posted by Pirate_4_life

My chest felt as if it was going to explode, although I had not heartbeat to speak of, it was racing ten to the dozen in my mind. I tried to stand up, to get away from the scene I had found, but my legs wouldn’t hold me up long enough. I fell to the ground hitting my head hard on the foot of my grandmothers bed, my head swirling out of control, filled with scenes that could have been mistaken for a horror film. The crash, the biting, the sight of my grandmother dying silently while I was to chicken to do something about it.
I lay there for what seemed liked days but when I looked at the clock...

21

Feelings (Sequel to "Football" Don't read unless you've read Football)

posted by CullenCult

**This is the continuation of "Football" but this one is in Jasper's POV** I know its short, I'm sorry **When you're pagbaba and you see something like this: ~anger~ then that means Jasper is getting Anger vibes**

Edward and Emmett just got back from the purgatory they call high school. I gently nudged Alice's legs off my lap and got up to go meet them at the door. They barely got in the house good before their moods hit me.
~guilt~; Edward
~annoyance..humor..~; Emmett.
Whats going on? I asked Edward.
"Just prepare yourself." he said. I immediately suspected danger.
"Just towards me." he...

2

Things Jacob Would Never Say

posted by rocksinger123

Here's a listahan of things hottie werewolf Jacob Black would't EVER say:
*Edward, since me and you are best friends, on behalf of the pack, thankyou for stealing the pag-ibig of my life,turned her into a leech, and forced me to exile myself!
*Bella, I hate you, you're a f***ing b****!!!
*Oh gee Sam, your right, I should've forgotten Bella, turned gay, and had a gay marrige with Mike Newton!
*I hate dogs!!!
*I pag-ibig Edward Cullen!!!

If you have any madami ideas, post 'em on the comments board. Sorry if I insultd Mike fans. One madami thing...I LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9

Dead But Dreamy - Robert Pattinson Is Twilight's Edward

posted by Zeisha

Normally, a vampire flick heading to theaters would attract the typical genre or horror fans curious to the latest spin on the bloodsucker mythology. But there’s nothing typical about the absolute tidal wave of buzz surrounding the big screen adaptation of Stephanie Meyer’s young adult skewing vampire tale, Twilight.

In the four years since Meyer’s released Twilight (the first book in the now completed four series), the book have sold madami than 17 million copies in 37 languages, and maybe most importantly, spawned a fandom as passionate, vocal and obsessed over their work that most authors...