Link: Hey, look, its an eskimo
Zunari: Hello
Link: Let me guess. Your crazy as shit too. What's your story. You live in a fucking freezer.
Zunari: Not really. When you look at all the psychopaths and idiots in this city, someone has to have some sanity
Link: Oh, okay. So, what's wrong with you
Zunari: Well, you see, I have this ligtas here, but, every time I close the store at night, someone always comes here and steals from me. It's maddening.
Link: so, wait, you just have this big asno ligtas lying in the open of your office, and pretty much anyone can steal it
Zunari: Well, yes, that's exactly it
Link: ................... Yeah, I'll help you
Zunari: Oh, that's great. Thanks, man.
(Later that night, at Zunari's Shop)
Tetra: .......... Link
Link: ............ Yes
Tetra: .......... You're gonna rob that guy aren't you
Link: Fuck yeah
Tetra: Link!
Link: No, I have had it with getting shit rewards. If it weren't for you getting on my fucking back this whole time, I wouldn't even be helping these people. I'd be killing their leader, and then ruling this place with an iron fist. But, no, I just go around helping people. So, I am doing what I want now. You can just shut the fuck up
Tetra: Fine. Do what you want. I won't stop you from taking the money.
Link: That's good (Walks into the shop, to see a girl stealing from the safe) Hey, stay away from that safe. This is my robbery.
Mila: (Turns) Who are you
Link: A guy who may just forget about hurting you because your attractive.
Mila: Please, I need this money. I am just a poor girl-
Link: A super hot one at that
Mila: -Who is trying to feed my family... and sa pamamagitan ng family, I mean just my dad who's too lazy to work for money
Link: Wow, what a great father
Mila: Yes, I know. He sucks
Link: Well, I can't let you steal from this shop. But, I will pay you. I am like the Bill Gates of this world, so, I will just hand you whatever money I have
Mila: Really. Oh, thank you so much. How can I repay you
Link: Sex
Mila: Oh, yes
Link: Wait, really
Mila: Of course, anything for the man who helped me and kept me from becoming a criminal
Link: Awesome. So, what do you say we-
Tetra: But, Link, what about Medley
Link: What about here
Tetra: Aren't you two dating
Link: What?
Tetra: Yeah, she sinabi she loved you a lot and all that
Mila: Oh... I see... Oh, thank you, ma'am. So sorry Link, I was about to get in the way of your relationship with Medley
Link: What, I don't love-
Tetra: Of course he does
Link: SHE'S A FUCKING BIRD GIRL!!!
Tetra: It's the inside that counts
Mila: Well, that's good to hear. I was about to get between you two. And just think, I was going to screw your brains out so hard, you would need a wheelchair. But, a thank you is good enough. Well, take care Link (Walks off)
Link: Tetra! I told you that Medley and me aren't dating
Tetra: I know. I just did that to fuck with you. Doing things your way. Fuck that
Link: DAMN YOU TETRAAAAAAAAA!!!
(Later that day)
Zunari: Hey, man, thanks so much for helping out
Link: (Crying) I was so close to losing my virginity
Tetra: He means you're welcome
Zunari: Anyway, here is my thanks to you. It is a partnership. From now on, we will share the money I make from this store
Link: (Crying) What good is money when you're still a virgin.
Tetra: Okay, this is kinda funny
Link: (Crying) Fuck you, Tetra
TO BE CONTINUED