Out here in the hot Savannah, where tumbleweeds roll and venomous mga hayop troll. It's a dangerous place indeed, but the worst part of it all is the Human's greed.
They take us to a violent place and certainly make haste. One sa pamamagitan ng one, we turkeys all fall. But little did I know, that I was the best of them all.
I was your normal officer, making sure everything out here was going well, even if things never looked very swell. I go sa pamamagitan ng the name of Turkey D. Cluck, and man did my old job REALLY suck.
This is the story of how I saved my friends. My family, relatives, and all that could've been. This is a tale of a Thanksgiving Day. The one Thanksgiving araw that actually went my way.
Officer Cluck: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, ilipat ALONG PEOPLE! Let's get this ipakita on the road! We ain't got all araw to run away from the hunters, so make haste!
Turkeys: *Running* MUST....FLEE......FROM.....HUNTERS!
Feathers: *Sigh* Another Thanksgiving Day...... I'm seriously starting to wonder why this holiday exists. All these innocent turkeys running from their lives just to not get eaten, it's sad.
Officer Cluck: I know, dear brother. But we must run before the hunters catch onto us! It's our only choice for survival.....
*Helicopter Appears*
Turkeys: AAAHHH!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIEE!!!!!! D:
Officer Cluck: AUGH! RUN FASTER EVERYONE!!!
Feathers: I'M SPRINTING AS HARD AS I CAN!
*Meanwhile, inside of the helicopter.....*
Mark Nevere: How is this even happening!? All systems are go, the propeller blades are working fine, I have plenty of gasoline left, and yet..... I'M ABOUT TO CRASH!
Mark Nevere: FULL THROTTLE ENGAGED, PREPARING FOR CRASH LANDING!
*KKKKSSSHHHHCRASHHHHHHHNODALHODUIB:LNAHIZZZZZZ*
*XD*
Mark: Augh, my head.... X___X
Feathers: HE'S GOING TO KILL US ALL, RUN FOR YOUR PRECIOUS TURKEY LIVES!!!!
Turkeys: AAUAAUUGUGGHHGHGH!!!! *Runs*
Mark: Ugh.... *Vision Clears* Turkeys? Hey, WAIT UP!
Turkeys: HE'S CHASING US, RUN FASTER!!!! D: D: AAAUUUGGHHGH!!!
Officer Cluck: (Wait a minute, he's not carrying any weapons.....?)
Officer Cluck: Hey, SIR! Over here!
Feathers: WHAT ARE YOU DOING CLUCK!? THAT IS SUICIDE! D:
Officer Cluck: You guys stay over there, I just want to see something real quick.....
Turkeys: *Hide behind boulder* (HE'S GONNA KILL US ALL! X___X)
Mark: Uh, you! You are turkey! Me no harm! Me come in peace! Me want help!
Officer Cluck: Uh, you know I understand English, right?
Mark: OH! A talking turkey.... Can you guys all speak English as well?
Turkeys: WE'LL BE BROILED ALIVE AND STUFFED TO DEATH! D:
Mark: I'll take that as a yes.... So, why are you turkeys way out here in the Savannah Desert? It's hot as Hell out here, you know? Phew!
Officer Cluck: You see, every taon since the beginning of October, we start running to the deserts when all humans are sleeping. We just don't want to be eaten!
Mark: Haha, oh! Well that explains a lot about your friends.....
Feathers: (There's no chance for survival.... o___O)
Mark: Well, if all possible, can you guys help me fix my helicopter? I was Supposed to patrol these deserts for reports on snakes, but something went wrong and I crashed....
Officer Cluck: Hmm.... I'll make you a deal! You help me and my mga kaibigan survive today, and we'll help you fix your helicopter! You see, we turkeys know a lo madami about helicopters than you may think. Heck, I used one in the good old Turkey War of 1967!
Mark: (Talking turkeys that had wars..... NOW I've seen everything. XD)
Mark: Alright then, it's a deal! So come on guys, follow me! The helicopter is this way!
Turkeys: *Shake Nervously*
Mark: Aw come on, I don't have any weapons! See? *Shows empty helicopter with nothing but food, water, and map*
Feathers: Come on turkeys, he's a friend, it's safe! :D
Turkeys: YEAAAAAAHHHH! ^___^
Mark: (What has my life even come to? :P)
Mark: Anyways, you see right about here there's something wrong with my rotary engine, but I don't know what it is......
Officer Cluck: Rotary........Engine? *Flashback*
Beaks: ALL SYSTEMS READY FOR LAUNCH, PREPARE FOR WAR! WE'LL ipakita THEM WHO'S BOSS OFFICER CLUCK! :D
Officer Cluck: Haha, that's the spirit Beaks! ^___^
*A little later*
Beaks: NO...... THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY ROTARY ENGINE! I CAN'T HOLD ON...... I...............
Officer Cluck: BEAKS! ARE YOU OK!? AUGH! *Evades Bullets*
Officer Cluck: BEAKS! BEAKS!!!!!!!!!! BEEEEAAAKKKSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Officer Cluck: *Shakes Head* Uh, yeah! So what you want to do is tweak this side of the wing here, push up the engine a bit, and shape back this wheel!
Mark: Hmm, alright! That makes sense. So, while I work on this, what do you guys do for a living?
Officer Cluck: Well, me and my brother Feathers, as well as my tribe back there, just paghahanap for pagkain and water while avoiding any and all hunters that approach us. It's a simple but hard life. And heck, we've never been able to trust ANY human up until now with you.
Feathers: Yeah! Also, we turkeys have become the most advanced tribe of turkeys in the world! You see, ever since and old friend of me and Cluck's estola an English dictionary, we've been able to speak in real life!
Mark: Ah, I see! So who was the friend? He must be an awesome person! :D
Officer Cluck: Yes, he was....... ANYWAYS, it looks like your already done!
Mark: Yep! After a few minutes, this baby should be flying high in the sky! And heck, I'll even take you guys with me! There should be plenty of room, seeing as how there's only ten of you. Plus, my Helicopter is pretty big, so why not?
Feathers: Sounds fantastic! I'm so excited to fly on a helicopter, I never have before! :D
Mark: Yeah, it's pretty darn fun, albeit somewhat dangerous.
Feathers: Who cares, LET'S GO!!!! ^___^ *Runs towards helicopter*
Mark: Uh, WAIT UP!! WE STILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR TH-
Mark: .......Missiles to load back into place................
Feathers: Owww...... X_____X
Mark: Uhhh, we can go NOW if you want.......
Turkeys: LET'S JUST WAIT ONE madami minuto O_____O
Mark: Alright, fine sa pamamagitan ng me. *Pulls out sandwich*
Officer Cluck: So, what is that you're eating?
Mark: Oh, this? This is what we humans call a mani mantikilya & halaya sandwich. It makes for a pretty good snack when you're kinda hungry, you know? *Bites*
Officer Cluck: I see, mani mantikilya Sandwich! :D
Mark: See? You're already getting the hang of this. Well, let's go turkeys!
Turkeys: YAAAAAY!!!! ^_________^
Feathers: Five.... More...... *Bangs head on door* AUGH X____X
Mark: *Sigh* Your friend over there sure is reckless, you know?
Officer Cluck: Yeah, Feathers is a smart turkey and all, but he gets pretty ahead of himself every now and then, therefore resulting in..... Yeah. :D
Mark: *Picks up Feathers* Well, here we are! The D-106 Model 3 Apache-Helicopter! It's got weapons built in for protection against foes, a fast engine built for acceleration and speed, and plenty of room for 25 people!
Mark: And I see you guys have already found the fans......
Turkeys: AAAHHHHHHH ^________^
Mark: SOOOO, make yourselves comfortable! We're going back to my tahanan for some madami supplies, then I'll do whatever you guys want.
Feathers: ANYTHING!? :D
Mark: Uhh, sure. :P
Feathers: Even bring another back to LIFE!? :D
Mark: Huh? I can't do THAT, I was thinking food, water, and shelter. Maybe a few other things, but not that. After all, I ain't Jesus, you know? Haha.
Mark: Besides, who did you want back to life?
*Room goes silent*
Mark: Uh, never mind. So, enjoying the beautiful skies everyone? :)
Turkeys: AAAAHHHHHHHH ^_______^ *All susunod to fan*
Mark: Enjoying the FANS, I should say. :P
*A bit later.....*
Mark: Alright, I'm going to be back in a few minutes. Don't get in any trouble!
Turkeys: Okkkaaaaayyyyy :D
Feathers: Man, it's FREEZING in this place! Brrrr..... X___X
Officer Cluck: Wait, what's this? It's called a..... "Heater"!
*Turns On*
Mark: *Carrying supplies* Well, I'm back guys! You guys enjoying the nice cool weather?
Turkeys: AAAHHHHHH ^______^
Mark: See? It does feel great out here, doesn't i-wait a minute.....
Mark: Well, I see you guys have found the heater already too. :P
Mark: So, where do you guys want to go?
*Newspaper flies in*
Officer Cluck: Huh? What's this? *Reads*
Officer Cluck: Bring any beloved one back to life with Ma-
Mark: Oh, haha! This is called a newspaper, must've flied in sa pamamagitan ng accident. I'll throw it away now.
Officer Cluck: WAIT! Not this one, I want to hang onto it for now....
Mark: Uh, alright then. So, where we headed, Turkey Crew?
Officer Cluck: *Reading* (Magical potion capable of bringing a fallen one back to life..... Come to Las Vegas for details!)
Officer Cluck: Las Vegas please!
Mark: LAS VEGAS!? Like I have the money to gamble, please. Besides, it'll take FOREVER to get there. I mean, it's not like my engine has a plutonium rocket that ca-WHERE DID YOU GUYS GET THAT!?
Feathers: I found this plutonium rocket thingy susunod to the newspaper, want me to hook it up?
Mark: (A turkey holding a plutonium rocket........NOW I've seen everything. :P)
Mark: Alright, just be careful and don't blow yourself up aga-
Feathers: Th rocktz on, Mr. Mrkkkk sir..... @______@
Mark: Haha, thanks Feathers.... I guess. So, OFF TO LAS VEGAS! ARE YOU GUYS READY TO TRAVEL AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!? :D
Turkeys: *Enjoying Heater* AAAHHHHHHH ^______^
Mark: (Sometimes I wonder..... Why do I even bother? :P)
Officer Cluck: Hold onto your seats guys, it's going to be a wild ride! He's not kidding!
Mark: Yeah, a Plutonium-Powered Rocket Engine can exceed the speed of Mach 7, so I hope you guys are ready for this.....
Turkeys: AAAHHHHHH ^________^
Mark: Hehe, don't say I didn't warn you. ;)
Officer Cluck: Seat-belt on..... Ready when you are, Mr. Mark sir!
Mark: *Pushes Button* Let's GO!
Flight Pattern acquired, heading to Las Vegas.
Turkeys: AaaahhhhhhhAAAAAUUUUUGHHHHH X_______X
Feathers: *Holding Onto Chair* NNNNNOOOOOOOOO *Slips* AAAUUUGHGHGHGHG X_____X
Officer Cluck: Must..... Hold.......... ON.....................
Mark: AALALALMMMOOOSOSSSTTTTT THTHHTEEEREEEREEE..........
*And now, a commercial break. :)*
Hey, you ever feel REALLY thirsty? Soda not helping you out? prutas juice just a bit too small? Well we've got good news for you because we have SUNNY-D!
"A delightful drink that tastes like no other!" -IGN
"It's kahel juice..... ON STEROIDS! :D" -Some Guy On A Sofa
"It's healthy AND tasty!" -My Pillow
So what are you waiting for? Buy Sunny-D today! ^___^
DON'T DRINK THIS IT'S JUST SUGAR WATE- *Punches* Buy Sunny-D Today! ^____^
And now, back to our feature presentation. :)
Mark: AAAALLALALMMMOMOOMOSOSSSSSSSTTSTTTTTT TTHTHTEEEREEEREEEEE............
Officer Cluck: HHRRRGNGN..... MUST... HOLD....... ON!!!!!
Turkeys: IHACFIUFBSGFUKSGBUWYFSWFHESIFU X________X
Feathers: TELL MY MOTHER I pag-ibig HER! D:
*You have arrived! :)*
Turkeys: *Turkeys fall down* OOOWWWW! X____X
Officer Cluck: Remember to wear your seat-belts kids! ;)
Mark: Ah, here we are! Las-Vegas! So now where do we go?
Officer Cluck: *Reads Newspaper* This way!
Mark: So, magical potion extravaganza contest? Man, you turkeys find some WEIRD things.
Officer Cluck: Contest..... Tell us an emotional story on why you need this potion! Winner gets the potion!
Feathers: That should be easy! LET'S GO!!!! ^____^
Mark: Hey, FEATHERS! Watch out for the stai-
Mark: How do stairs even cause an explosion? XDDD Man, NOW I've seen everything.
Feathers: her'z da sine-up shreet.... X_____X
Mark: Here we go! *Signs Officer Cluck* There! Now all we have to do is wait for the ipakita to start! In the meantime, while Cluck and Feathers do their contest thing, I'll get us some Hamburgers and fries!
Turkeys: Hamburgers..... And fries?
Mark: You've never heard of Hamburgers or Fries? Oh MAN, you guys are behind on history! *Pays Person*
Mark: C'mon, eat up! I bought enough to last us the entire day, try some!
Turkeys: *Chews* .........................
Mark: Uh, you guys not like them?
Turkeys: This.......... IS THE BEST THING WE'VE EVER TASTED! :D
Turkey #1: WAY better than that insect crap we usually eat!
Turkeys: NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM
Mark: Haha, wait till you try the Hot-Dogs and shakes. ;)
*Meanwhile, in the contest room*
Feathers: It's almost our turn! I can't wait to win, then we can finally bring Beaks back to life!
Officer Cluck: Yes, brother! We shall finally revive our old friend! It's all I've ever DREAMED of! ^____^
Guards: HEY! Why are you..... TURKEYS in our contest hall!?
Officer Cluck: You're mistaken sir! We're here for the contest to revive a friend, we aren't hurting anybody!
Guard: But you're a TURKEY! You're just an animal, and you aren't allowed in this room! SEIZE THE TURKEYS!!!!
Feathers: Uh, CLUCK? WHAT DO WE DO!?
Officer Cluck: Here's what we do, Feathers. :)
Officer Cluck: RRRUUUUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Meanwhile, with Mark and friends*
Turkeys: WE'RE NEVER EATING BUGS AGAIN! :D *NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM*
Mark: Glad you like it, I know I do, haha. Man, this is the life. What could possibly go wro-
Officer Cluck: MARK! FINALLY! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE! D:
Mark: Wait, what?! What happened?
Guards: GET THE TURKEYS! >:(
Turkeys: HOLY guacamole WE'RE DEAD!!!! X_____X
Feathers: FELLOW TURKEYS! Let's do the only thing we can do and GET OUT OF HERE!
Officer Cluck: He's right guys, come on Mark! We need to go!
Mark: *Running* But what about the potion?
Officer Cluck: Can't be helped! The guards are onto us!
Guards: KEEP RUNNING MEN! WE'RE ALMOST THERE! >:D
Feathers: WHAT DO WE DO!? D:
Mark: WAIT.... I have an idea!
*Whistling*
Guards: HEY! Mysterious looking tall man! Have you seen a guy and some turkeys anywhere?
Mark: *Low Voice* No sir, I haven't!
Guards: Alright, thank you! Have a great araw sir!
Mark: You too sir! *Strokes Fake Stache*
Guards: Well, that's enough for today. *Sigh* Let's go someplace else.
Mark: NOW! Let's go back into the contest, and FAST!
Officer Cluck: Don't have to say that twice!
*A bit later*
???: AND susunod UP, WE HAVE OFFICER CLUCK! :D
Audience: *Claps* BRAVO! YEAH! ^____^ WHOOOO!!!
Mark: *Whispers* Here we are, now go up there and ipakita them what you're made of! ;)
Officer Cluck: I'll try my best! :)
*MEANWHILE OUTSIDE*
Guard #1: Man, I've had enough for today. Chasing turkeys and talking to mysteriously tall people, haha!
Guard #2: Hey, there's that contest again! You want to go inside and watch the show?
Guard #1: SURE! :D It's all on me buddy!
???: Not so fast, monsieur guards.....
Guard #2: WHAT!? Another turkey! Alright little guy, hands up in the air where I can see them!
???: Foolish guards..... Do you even know who you're messing with? I'll give you one last chance to leave me alone and get out of here.
Guards: HAHAHAHAHAHA! You're a TURKEY! You can't do anything to us, AHHAHA! Hands up right NOW before I get the cops!
???: I was hoping it wouldn't come to this...... FEATHER SHURIKEN! *Tosses*
Guards: AUGH! X___X
???: Go get them, Cluck! May you get your precious friend back..... I'll stay on guard here! I promise! Or my name isn't..... SHADOW FEATHER!
Officer Cluck: Good evening everyone, my name is Officer Cluck! It may seem weird that I am a talking turkey at FIRST, but just remember that I am a mortal like you all and I have a tragic tale to tell about my past.
Mark: He's doing great, wow! I just know he'll win!
Feathers: GO CLUCK! YOU CAN DO IT! :D Support Cluck today sa pamamagitan ng buying one of these exclusive Cluck T-Shirts!
Mark: Wait, where'd you even those?
Feathers: It's a secret...... ;)
*Meanwhile, in another part of the Earth......*
???: OUR T-SHIRT FACTORY IS RUINED, WE'RE ALL OUT OF SHIRTS! D:
???: MOTHER FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
*Back in the contest.....*
Officer Cluck: You see, me and my pal Feathers back there used to have a very close friend named Beaks. He was the best friend a guy could've ever had..... He was nice, funny, considerate, he surely was one of the best mga kaibigan a guy could have......
Salesman: TISSUES! GET YOUR TISSUES RIGHT HERE! :D ONLY TEN CENTS!
Audience: *Buys* *Blows Nose* AWWWW D: D: D:
Salesman: (Easiest money EVER! ^___^)
Officer Cluck: You see, Beaks was also a very bravo man. He'd go headfirst into the line of danger for ANYONE he cared about. And heck, he even joined the military to participate in the Turkey War Of 1967! And yes, he was one of our best allies as well.
Officer Cluck: I remember him in the battlefield as well, shooting down plane after plane, with a smile on his face........ But one fateful day, he took it too far......
Salesman: AND A TISSUE FOR YOU MY GOOD SIR! :D AND A TISSUE FOR YOU! AND ANOTHER TISSUE FOR YOU! ^___^
Audience: WHHAAAAAAHHHH D: D: *Blows Noses*
Salesman: (BEST. SCAM. EVER!!! :D)
Officer Cluck: He was facing a strong pilot indeed, one we like to call.........THE TURKEY BARON. You see, The Turkey Baron was famous for shooting down the most planes on our side madami than anyone else, and Beaks, being the bravo man he was, tried to take him down.......
Officer Cluck: He gave it his all, but The Turkey Baron ended his life with a fatal blow to the rotary engine, causing a violent crash on our side of the field. I'll never forget that day...... I Nawawala one of my best friends........
Officer Cluck: Luckily, a bravo figure came out of nowhere right after that and DEMOLISHED The Turkey Baron. He goes sa pamamagitan ng the name of the Shadow Feather, and if it wasn't for him, me and my turkey crew here wouldn't be here.
Audience: *Covered in tissues*
walang tiyak na layunin Guy: HEY! Don't blow your snot on me!
Audience Member: WAAAHAHHAHHH D: *Blows Again*
walang tiyak na layunin Guy: *Covered in snot and tears* I hate my life. :P
Officer Cluck: And that is the tragic tale..... of Beaks.
Mark, Turkeys, & Audience: *Claps* YEAH! :D BRAVO! BRAVO!
Judges: MAGNIFICENT! I've never heard of such a tragic tale in my entire life! Congratulations! You are the winner of this year's Tragic Tale Contest!
Judge #1: As for your reward, take this potion! Hold it deep in your hands, and think of your Nawawala friend! Only then shall he return back to this world!
Mark: Do it Cluck! :D
Feathers: You're the best!
Audience: Go Cluck! :D *Number One Cluck tagahanga Shirts Everywhere*
Judges: You can do it Cluck!
Turkeys: THAT'S OUR OFFICER! ^____^
Officer Cluck: Thank you all so much! Now here I go......
Officer Cluck: *Thinks of Beaks* (Please potion, grant me one wish..... And bring my friend back!)
Mark: *Coughs* AUGH.... My throat.......
Turkeys: Wait a minute.....
Audience: *Gasps*
Feathers: Can it be......!
Officer Cluck: BEAKS! :D YOU'RE BACK!
Beaks: Augh..... is it just me, or do I smell a LOT of smoke? *Coughs*
Feathers: BEAKS! Are you okay? You look just like when you did in 67!
Beaks: What do you mean? The last thing I remember is going down in my helicopter......
Feathers: It's a LONG story, Beaks.
Beaks: AUGH! HUMANS EVERYWHERE!? WHAT IS HAPPENING!? AND WHO IS THAT GUY OVER THERE!?
*Later.....*
Beaks: Ah, I see. Great to meet you Mark, it really is a pleasure!
Mark: Well, now that everything seems to be happy, anyone want some Hamburgers and shakes? ;)
Turkeys: YEAH! :D
(Thanks for reading, see you guys susunod time. :D)
