Ok .. I've rewritten this part. This is the beginning of my book ..... So, what do you think??? Be honest?

Honesty is always the best policy. So here how it is. I think you should go over it, look at real good because I've seen some errors. I like the story if you must know sa pamamagitan ng the way. But here are the errors and some ways to fix them and some advice

Sometimes you don't use the past/present/future tense of a word. In fact sometimes you don't used proper grammar and miss things in sentences like a needed verb, noun, pro noun etc that would help make a sentence make sense. Also you forgot to capitalize certain words in some sentences. Also you spelled things wrong if you did that on purpose to ipakita that he is indeed mentally disable. You also added commas that weren't suppose to be there. And you also had sentence that needed commas or, and semi colons.
Was certain things mga panipi or something? Because I noticed used extra periods for the some of the lines and then started using one period. If so you should use quotation marks or at least let use know it's someone's thoughts. Also think you should tell us what apartment he lives in and also for the last paragraph a better sentence instead of "I had to teach myself dinner" you could have sinabi " I had to teach myself how to make my food." Why? Because it's madami grammar correct and it applies breakfast , lunch, dinner, supper, etc. I'm saying this because the nakaraan statement states that he is making breakfast. But then again if the pagkain is just left over hapunan you should say that and it's left over dinner. Also don't forget about your quotation marks and underlined words. You use quotation marks when something is a quote, stories, songs, articles, episodes on t.v shows, plays, and poems. However, you use underlines or italicize for c.d.s, books,movies , long works of art, art , newspaper, magazine, name of a specific aircraft,spacecraft, and trains etc., foreign words in an English sentence,words, letters, and number mentioned as them selves. Ex. The silent p in front of a sentence is hard to remember. P would be underlined or italicized.

I think you should use auto correct and read over your work. I know it's hard and sometimes boring. BUT checking over your work helps you to add and alisin things until they're perfect! But then again not everything can be absolutely perfect because I know I forgot about some things and misspelled something or wasn't correct rule wise and, or grammar wise at least once.

I like your story and never give up on your goals keep writing! :)

i lik it