"Matthew tells me you're improving. Guess that brings us a step closer to being happy again, right?" Charlie stared at me with a hopeful expression, awaiting the answer he wanted to hear all along. Yes, Charlie. I'm finally moving on from the past because I pag-ibig you. I pag-ibig you and I want to make this work. I'm changing who I am for you. Dr. Thomas' words, his advice, echoed in my head as I slowly paced back and forth, playing with my fingers nervously. "Jamie, what is it?" "Do you think there's any point in staying married if the relationship isn't going to survive?" I blurted out the words before I could think to stop myself. "I mean, let's face it Charlie... Are we even strong enough to want to fight for this?" An irritated undertone just barely touched the question.
Charlie stood from the sopa and stepped closer to me, once again towering over me - making me feel smaller than I should have felt. "I thought you told me you wanted to try," he whispered, masking the hurt as much as he could, but he wasn't fooling anyone. "I thought you wanted to make this work." I shook my head in disagreement, crossing my arms over my chest. "No, Charlie. You wanted me to try." He stepped away from me, visibly struck sa pamamagitan ng my response. "Why are you pagganap like this, Jamie?" "Because I'm trying to get through to you! You keep pagganap as if nothing is wrong and that everything will get better! I'm tired, Charlie, really tired. I can't do it anymore... I won't."
Now the irritation was taking its toll on him as well. Without holding back any longer, Charlie released all the anger and frustration built up inside him for the past month. "Goddamnit, Jamie!" He slammed his hand on the coffee table, causing me to jump. "Why can't you just get a hold on reality and face it! He's gone! Alexander is gone and he's not coming back!" My tone matched his in volume. "Stop saying that! You don't know, I don't know! Nobody knows what will happen, but I'm willing to wait!" "Why?! Why are you waiting for him when you could be helping me out here?! It takes two people to have a healthy marriage, Jamie! Two!" "You're telling me I need to get a hold on reality? Fuck you! You're the one who can't see what's really going on! You're being greedy, Charlie! You want what you can't have!"
I kept pushing just to see how long it took for him to finally break - something we both needed. "I bring you all the way up here thinking that maybe, just maybe, you'd see how much I would crawl to make you want me again. I was wrong about you... about us. You're right, Jamie, there's no point. There's absolutely no point anymore. I just can't understand why you waited all this time to tell me you want out." I lowered my gaze to my feet, my toes sinking into the softness of the carpet. "Because it took me until now to realize how much I pag-ibig him." Charlie shook his head, disappointed with my fantasy. "Well, that's it then."
He grabbed his sunglasses and car keys, heading for the front door. "Where are you go?" I didn't really care; I just didn't want to be left at his parents' house. He stopped and turned around to face me. "I'm going for a drive. You can pack your things while I'm gone. I'll drive you to the airport when I come back... I won't be long." As soon as he slammed the front door, I reached for the telephone and dialed Matthew's number.
Charlie stood from the sopa and stepped closer to me, once again towering over me - making me feel smaller than I should have felt. "I thought you told me you wanted to try," he whispered, masking the hurt as much as he could, but he wasn't fooling anyone. "I thought you wanted to make this work." I shook my head in disagreement, crossing my arms over my chest. "No, Charlie. You wanted me to try." He stepped away from me, visibly struck sa pamamagitan ng my response. "Why are you pagganap like this, Jamie?" "Because I'm trying to get through to you! You keep pagganap as if nothing is wrong and that everything will get better! I'm tired, Charlie, really tired. I can't do it anymore... I won't."
Now the irritation was taking its toll on him as well. Without holding back any longer, Charlie released all the anger and frustration built up inside him for the past month. "Goddamnit, Jamie!" He slammed his hand on the coffee table, causing me to jump. "Why can't you just get a hold on reality and face it! He's gone! Alexander is gone and he's not coming back!" My tone matched his in volume. "Stop saying that! You don't know, I don't know! Nobody knows what will happen, but I'm willing to wait!" "Why?! Why are you waiting for him when you could be helping me out here?! It takes two people to have a healthy marriage, Jamie! Two!" "You're telling me I need to get a hold on reality? Fuck you! You're the one who can't see what's really going on! You're being greedy, Charlie! You want what you can't have!"
I kept pushing just to see how long it took for him to finally break - something we both needed. "I bring you all the way up here thinking that maybe, just maybe, you'd see how much I would crawl to make you want me again. I was wrong about you... about us. You're right, Jamie, there's no point. There's absolutely no point anymore. I just can't understand why you waited all this time to tell me you want out." I lowered my gaze to my feet, my toes sinking into the softness of the carpet. "Because it took me until now to realize how much I pag-ibig him." Charlie shook his head, disappointed with my fantasy. "Well, that's it then."
He grabbed his sunglasses and car keys, heading for the front door. "Where are you go?" I didn't really care; I just didn't want to be left at his parents' house. He stopped and turned around to face me. "I'm going for a drive. You can pack your things while I'm gone. I'll drive you to the airport when I come back... I won't be long." As soon as he slammed the front door, I reached for the telephone and dialed Matthew's number.
Most Irritating Moments
- Morning Alarm
Most Difficult Task
- To find Socks
Most Dreadful Journey
- Way to Class
Most Lovely Time
- Meeting Friends
Most Tragic Moments
- Surprise Test in 1st Period
Most Wonderful News
- TEACHER IS ABSENT
Maybe this happens with everyone.Nobody likes school life but it get interesting with our mga kaibigan playing tricks with others,not doing homework,tests ect.We learn lots of things from school and we doesn't know how time get pass spending time with our friends.
It's fun.
- Morning Alarm
Most Difficult Task
- To find Socks
Most Dreadful Journey
- Way to Class
Most Lovely Time
- Meeting Friends
Most Tragic Moments
- Surprise Test in 1st Period
Most Wonderful News
- TEACHER IS ABSENT
Maybe this happens with everyone.Nobody likes school life but it get interesting with our mga kaibigan playing tricks with others,not doing homework,tests ect.We learn lots of things from school and we doesn't know how time get pass spending time with our friends.
It's fun.
Water
My only escape
Where for once my arms that are too pale and scrawny bend perfectly
Where I feel perfect
This is where my spirit will stay
When my body turns grey and dies away
Water
Where my legs that are too chubby or fat kick so strong
I feel perfect
This is the place my spirit will stay
When my body turns grey and dies away
Water
Where pain only makes me only go faster
Better
Prettier
Perfectly
Water
Where my face that's not pretty in never seen
Hidden in waves that make me feel free
This is the place my spirit will stay
When my body turns grey and dies away
Water
When I used to stab myself with needles
And let the blood bleed out
Suddenly is the last thing on my mind
And when I do spill blood
It's only on the days my mom says I can't go
To the water
Where my spirit will stay
When my body grows old and dies away
My only escape
Where for once my arms that are too pale and scrawny bend perfectly
Where I feel perfect
This is where my spirit will stay
When my body turns grey and dies away
Water
Where my legs that are too chubby or fat kick so strong
I feel perfect
This is the place my spirit will stay
When my body turns grey and dies away
Water
Where pain only makes me only go faster
Better
Prettier
Perfectly
Water
Where my face that's not pretty in never seen
Hidden in waves that make me feel free
This is the place my spirit will stay
When my body turns grey and dies away
Water
When I used to stab myself with needles
And let the blood bleed out
Suddenly is the last thing on my mind
And when I do spill blood
It's only on the days my mom says I can't go
To the water
Where my spirit will stay
When my body grows old and dies away
I sit and wonder…
Whatever happened to the days?
Watching BSG and Nawawala with Charles,
Playing bituin Wars with him,
And Shortys?
Whatever happened to the days?
Of Josh helping me through the grief of my father’s death.
Whatever happened to the days?
Of chicken and egg salad sandwiches at the SUB and take-out Chinese for dinner?
Whatever happened to the days?
Of GIRLS NIGHT OUT!
Whatever happened to the days?
Of spring at KU?
Whatever happened to the days?
Of KU’s waterfall and walks at midnight…
Whatever happened to the days?
Of all my mga kaibigan at KU, and what great mga kaibigan they were.
Whatever happened to the days?
Whatever happened to the days?
Watching BSG and Nawawala with Charles,
Playing bituin Wars with him,
And Shortys?
Whatever happened to the days?
Of Josh helping me through the grief of my father’s death.
Whatever happened to the days?
Of chicken and egg salad sandwiches at the SUB and take-out Chinese for dinner?
Whatever happened to the days?
Of GIRLS NIGHT OUT!
Whatever happened to the days?
Of spring at KU?
Whatever happened to the days?
Of KU’s waterfall and walks at midnight…
Whatever happened to the days?
Of all my mga kaibigan at KU, and what great mga kaibigan they were.
Whatever happened to the days?