"You've got to be joking," Gwen said, her eyes wide in fear.
"We're not," Blake said. Gwen stared at the floor, and took a deep breath. I patted her knee.
"I'm sorry, Gwen..." I sinabi quietly. She looked at me, incredulous.
"What are you sorry for?! I can't believe Blaine could just sit there while you..." she shook her head real fast and then held it in her hands. "This is... unbelievable." My throat started to swell up. I was beginning to think that it wasn't such a great idea to tell her that I remembered Blaine. She was freaking out.
"It's not his fault, really," I tried to amend. "I mean, I think Drew's other mga kaibigan were afraid of him too. Tha---"
"Irina! There's no excuse for just standing there while you were beat up! I mean, he could've ki---" she stopped. "That Briar girl... Was she...?" I pursed my lips nodded. She stood up, tears starting to come to her. "Oh my God! No. No."
"Drew did it! Not Blaine," I insisted. "He wasn't even there!"
"Irina, you don't get it! I don't care he wasn't the one who actually killed that poor little girl! But standing there and doing nothing is just as bad!" My puso started pounding. She had really liked Blaine, and I just ruined everything for her. Gwen covered her eyes with her hands, and sighed. "I gotta go. I'm going to go talk with him." She grabbed her amerikana and purse, and headed to the door. An old instinct in me wanted to beg her not to tell him, because he might tell Drew. I shook my head. There was no need for that anymore. She slammed the door behind her.
Blake sighed.
"Well that went well," I said, sitting down on the couch. He sat down susunod to me, with a sad expression on his face. "What's wrong?"
"I did nothing," he sighed.
"What do you mean?"
"Before we started dating. Even when I found out about Drew... I did nothing," he sinabi grievously. I put my hand on his knee, and tried to get him to look me in the eye, but he continued to stare out in front of him.
"I begged you not to," I reminded him. He stood up, and shook his head. He looked disgusted.
"That doesn't make what I did any better! If I had done something then, Briar would still be alive." I was standing in front of him so fast, I wasn't even sure how I'd done it.
"Don't you dare blame yourself for what happened. If Drew didn't kill her then," I hated saying this, "I'm sure Skye would've gotten to her before any of us could do something." Blake sighed.
"I'll still never forgive myself for not doing something right when I had the chance. All the terrible things that have happened to you..."
"I brought them on myself," I told him. "I should've broken up with him when I first saw things going downhill, and I didn't." Blake sighed again, and pulled me into a hug.
"How about we just forget all that, ok? It's all done, and our lives are better now." I nodded, but inside I was thinking about the miscarriage, Hera's new drinking problem, and I just ruined Gwen's relationship. Oh, yeah. Our lives are much better now.
***
One day, when I got tahanan from work, Blake was already home.
"I just talked to Gwen," he sinabi quietly. I stopped.
"How is she?" I asked apprehensively.
"She broke up with Blaine." I sat on the couch.
"Oh my God... I ruined it." I stood up, and balled my hands into fists. "I should've just kept my big mouth shut!" I shouted through my teeth. Blake was sa pamamagitan ng me in an instant.
"No, it's not," he said.
"Yes it is! I can never... make anything better..."
When I woke up, I was on the floor between the sopa and the coffee table. I groaned and tried to sit up, but Blake put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me gently back down.
"Just.... Just lay there and calm down," he sinabi softly. I laid there, staring at the ceiling, and took a couple deep breaths.
"Can I get up now?" I asked. He studied me for a while, then nodded. I sat up, and put my head in my hands. "What happened?" Blake pursed his lips.
"I'll tell you in the morning." I looked at the clock.
"What time is it?"
"Ten thirty." He raised his hand when he saw I was alarmed. "It lasted only a couple minutes. You woke up afterward, but I don't think you were really awake. You fell asleep right then... C'mon," he said. He put one arm behind my neck, and the other under my legs. He lifted me up, and carried me to our room. I fell asleep before we even got there.
***
I went to Dad and Kara's house a week later. I hadn't been there since I had babysat Desiree. Hera was still in her wheelchair, watching TV while everyone else got ready for hapunan in the kitchen.
"Don't you bring her in here for dinner?" I asked Dad quietly. He looked at her, and shrugged.
"She sinabi she doesn't want to." I stared after her for a while, then grabbed my plate.
"I'm gonna go eat sa pamamagitan ng her," I decided. I went into the living room, and pulled the rocking chair up susunod to her wheelchair. "Hey," I said, smiling at her.
"Hi," she said. I noticed how pale her face was. And when she was still, I could see her fingers trembling a little. She was going through withdrawal; it was even madami noticeable than it was before.
"Have you been drinking?" I asked, lowering my voice so no one else could hear. She pursed her lips. "Hera," I sighed. "It's not going to get any better if you keep giving in."
"What do you mean?" she asked, exasperated.
"Girls, Dezzie suggested going out for ice cream. You want anything?" Dad asked, as Kara and Desiree got their coats on.
"No thanks, Dad," I said. Hera shook her head. They left a while later, leaving Hera and I free to talk.
"What do you mean?" she asked again.
"Well," I sighed. "When I got alcohol poisoning... That wasn't the first time I'd drank." She furrowed her eyebrows.
"How long did you drink for?" she asked. I looked at the ceiling, trying to remember around when I first started.
"Uh, almost two years." Hera's eyes widened. "So, if I can do that, and stop, so can you. You just need to be strong." Her eyes started to water.
"But it's hard," she said. I leaned over and hugged her, careful not to hurt her.
"I know it is." I pulled away to look at her. "If you ever need me to come over, to stop you, just call." She nodded and hugged me.
"Thanks Irina."
***
A couple weeks later, I was pagbaba in bed, and Blake had just laid down to go to sleep. I sighed and put my book down.
"Blake?" he rolled onto his back and looked at me with sleepy eyes.
"Hm?" he mumbled. I took a deep breath.
"What would you think about having a baby?" I asked. He looked at me for a while, then bit his lip.
"I don't know, Irina... We just had the miscarriage a couple months ago. Maybe we should wait a little while longer...." My face flushed. Blake furrowed his eyebrows. "Why?"
"I'm pregnant," I said.
"Really?" he breathed.
"Really," I nodded.
"Oh, well... That's great, Sweetie!" He hugged me and kissed me.
"I guess," I said. I could've been madami happy.
"Honey, I'm happy. Really. I just wasn--"
"No, it's ok. I know. It's just... What if it ends up like last time?" My puso began to race. "I can't, I just can't go through that again." Blake pulled me close, and I laid my head on his chest.
"It'll be fine. Whatever happens, we'll get through it." I looked up at him.
"What if it turns out I can't...?" I asked, my voice cracked at the end. Blake kissed my forehead.
"Well, then... I don't know. But it doesn't matter to me. I pag-ibig you no matter what." I sighed.
"I pag-ibig you too."
"Everything will be alright. I promise."
"We're not," Blake said. Gwen stared at the floor, and took a deep breath. I patted her knee.
"I'm sorry, Gwen..." I sinabi quietly. She looked at me, incredulous.
"What are you sorry for?! I can't believe Blaine could just sit there while you..." she shook her head real fast and then held it in her hands. "This is... unbelievable." My throat started to swell up. I was beginning to think that it wasn't such a great idea to tell her that I remembered Blaine. She was freaking out.
"It's not his fault, really," I tried to amend. "I mean, I think Drew's other mga kaibigan were afraid of him too. Tha---"
"Irina! There's no excuse for just standing there while you were beat up! I mean, he could've ki---" she stopped. "That Briar girl... Was she...?" I pursed my lips nodded. She stood up, tears starting to come to her. "Oh my God! No. No."
"Drew did it! Not Blaine," I insisted. "He wasn't even there!"
"Irina, you don't get it! I don't care he wasn't the one who actually killed that poor little girl! But standing there and doing nothing is just as bad!" My puso started pounding. She had really liked Blaine, and I just ruined everything for her. Gwen covered her eyes with her hands, and sighed. "I gotta go. I'm going to go talk with him." She grabbed her amerikana and purse, and headed to the door. An old instinct in me wanted to beg her not to tell him, because he might tell Drew. I shook my head. There was no need for that anymore. She slammed the door behind her.
Blake sighed.
"Well that went well," I said, sitting down on the couch. He sat down susunod to me, with a sad expression on his face. "What's wrong?"
"I did nothing," he sighed.
"What do you mean?"
"Before we started dating. Even when I found out about Drew... I did nothing," he sinabi grievously. I put my hand on his knee, and tried to get him to look me in the eye, but he continued to stare out in front of him.
"I begged you not to," I reminded him. He stood up, and shook his head. He looked disgusted.
"That doesn't make what I did any better! If I had done something then, Briar would still be alive." I was standing in front of him so fast, I wasn't even sure how I'd done it.
"Don't you dare blame yourself for what happened. If Drew didn't kill her then," I hated saying this, "I'm sure Skye would've gotten to her before any of us could do something." Blake sighed.
"I'll still never forgive myself for not doing something right when I had the chance. All the terrible things that have happened to you..."
"I brought them on myself," I told him. "I should've broken up with him when I first saw things going downhill, and I didn't." Blake sighed again, and pulled me into a hug.
"How about we just forget all that, ok? It's all done, and our lives are better now." I nodded, but inside I was thinking about the miscarriage, Hera's new drinking problem, and I just ruined Gwen's relationship. Oh, yeah. Our lives are much better now.
***
One day, when I got tahanan from work, Blake was already home.
"I just talked to Gwen," he sinabi quietly. I stopped.
"How is she?" I asked apprehensively.
"She broke up with Blaine." I sat on the couch.
"Oh my God... I ruined it." I stood up, and balled my hands into fists. "I should've just kept my big mouth shut!" I shouted through my teeth. Blake was sa pamamagitan ng me in an instant.
"No, it's not," he said.
"Yes it is! I can never... make anything better..."
When I woke up, I was on the floor between the sopa and the coffee table. I groaned and tried to sit up, but Blake put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me gently back down.
"Just.... Just lay there and calm down," he sinabi softly. I laid there, staring at the ceiling, and took a couple deep breaths.
"Can I get up now?" I asked. He studied me for a while, then nodded. I sat up, and put my head in my hands. "What happened?" Blake pursed his lips.
"I'll tell you in the morning." I looked at the clock.
"What time is it?"
"Ten thirty." He raised his hand when he saw I was alarmed. "It lasted only a couple minutes. You woke up afterward, but I don't think you were really awake. You fell asleep right then... C'mon," he said. He put one arm behind my neck, and the other under my legs. He lifted me up, and carried me to our room. I fell asleep before we even got there.
***
I went to Dad and Kara's house a week later. I hadn't been there since I had babysat Desiree. Hera was still in her wheelchair, watching TV while everyone else got ready for hapunan in the kitchen.
"Don't you bring her in here for dinner?" I asked Dad quietly. He looked at her, and shrugged.
"She sinabi she doesn't want to." I stared after her for a while, then grabbed my plate.
"I'm gonna go eat sa pamamagitan ng her," I decided. I went into the living room, and pulled the rocking chair up susunod to her wheelchair. "Hey," I said, smiling at her.
"Hi," she said. I noticed how pale her face was. And when she was still, I could see her fingers trembling a little. She was going through withdrawal; it was even madami noticeable than it was before.
"Have you been drinking?" I asked, lowering my voice so no one else could hear. She pursed her lips. "Hera," I sighed. "It's not going to get any better if you keep giving in."
"What do you mean?" she asked, exasperated.
"Girls, Dezzie suggested going out for ice cream. You want anything?" Dad asked, as Kara and Desiree got their coats on.
"No thanks, Dad," I said. Hera shook her head. They left a while later, leaving Hera and I free to talk.
"What do you mean?" she asked again.
"Well," I sighed. "When I got alcohol poisoning... That wasn't the first time I'd drank." She furrowed her eyebrows.
"How long did you drink for?" she asked. I looked at the ceiling, trying to remember around when I first started.
"Uh, almost two years." Hera's eyes widened. "So, if I can do that, and stop, so can you. You just need to be strong." Her eyes started to water.
"But it's hard," she said. I leaned over and hugged her, careful not to hurt her.
"I know it is." I pulled away to look at her. "If you ever need me to come over, to stop you, just call." She nodded and hugged me.
"Thanks Irina."
***
A couple weeks later, I was pagbaba in bed, and Blake had just laid down to go to sleep. I sighed and put my book down.
"Blake?" he rolled onto his back and looked at me with sleepy eyes.
"Hm?" he mumbled. I took a deep breath.
"What would you think about having a baby?" I asked. He looked at me for a while, then bit his lip.
"I don't know, Irina... We just had the miscarriage a couple months ago. Maybe we should wait a little while longer...." My face flushed. Blake furrowed his eyebrows. "Why?"
"I'm pregnant," I said.
"Really?" he breathed.
"Really," I nodded.
"Oh, well... That's great, Sweetie!" He hugged me and kissed me.
"I guess," I said. I could've been madami happy.
"Honey, I'm happy. Really. I just wasn--"
"No, it's ok. I know. It's just... What if it ends up like last time?" My puso began to race. "I can't, I just can't go through that again." Blake pulled me close, and I laid my head on his chest.
"It'll be fine. Whatever happens, we'll get through it." I looked up at him.
"What if it turns out I can't...?" I asked, my voice cracked at the end. Blake kissed my forehead.
"Well, then... I don't know. But it doesn't matter to me. I pag-ibig you no matter what." I sighed.
"I pag-ibig you too."
"Everything will be alright. I promise."
The school kampanilya rang, school was over. I felt happy. As I sat down on the bus, Bruno sat beside me. I smiled at him. And he sinabi "So, where are you going?" "I'm going home. Where else?" I said. The bus ride tahanan was faster with him talking to me. The bus stopped. My block. As I got off the bus my head screamed once again, "He is the helper" I walked inside the house and did my homework. Hoping no one would pass sa pamamagitan ng and see I had no parents there. No one did. I watched TV. I felt lonely now. Someone knocked on the door slowly. I yelled "It's open!" And Bruno came in. I asked him why he was here. He sinabi nervously "My mom and dad aren't tahanan I guess. I dont have a key and I banged on the door but they didn't answer." Then he looked around and sinabi "Where are your parents?" I replied without any emotion, "Oh! They're working. They never come tahanan til' like midnight" And he watched TV with me. I felt happy. But still felt bad. What if he is a bad-guy? I may not know. But I will soon
"The memories of my childhood"....
you are in my heart"...always"....
I walk alone in those all days".....
thinks about you only"...
It's an only secreat between you and me"...
times to grown up...still thinks about you"...
Iam busy in my studies"...
but i never forget you..from my heart"
the days passed you and me grown up.."
but he doesn't look at me.."
I feel i ignored sa pamamagitan ng him"...
but my puso still beat for him"...
and still have hopes....
"He never heard my puso beat"...i feel mushy
i hope one araw he will...
but it's never happend...!!!
" he is still a bachelor now.."
time to realize " am not in his "HEART"..and his feelings toward me a brittle"...
you are in my heart"...always"....
I walk alone in those all days".....
thinks about you only"...
It's an only secreat between you and me"...
times to grown up...still thinks about you"...
Iam busy in my studies"...
but i never forget you..from my heart"
the days passed you and me grown up.."
but he doesn't look at me.."
I feel i ignored sa pamamagitan ng him"...
but my puso still beat for him"...
and still have hopes....
"He never heard my puso beat"...i feel mushy
i hope one araw he will...
but it's never happend...!!!
" he is still a bachelor now.."
time to realize " am not in his "HEART"..and his feelings toward me a brittle"...