Serena
I couldn't tell my mom. I tried, and I just couldn't. What's worse, she didn't try to make me.
**************************************************
Later, I had cried out every tear I had, but it wasn't enough.
Just as I'd parked my car outside the complex where I now lived, a spark of hope flared inside me.
No one ever would know.
I sprinted up the stairs, I just couldn't handle the idleness of taking the elevator. I needed to run.
I burst through the door and immediately headed for the hall closet.
I pulled out a large suitcase and stuffed as many of my clothes as I could in it.
**************************************************
Finally, I was packed. But I still wasn't done. There was one last thing I needed to do.
I ran into the kitchen, grabbed a pencil and pulled a pad of lila paper out from under the phone.
I knew who would come looking for me first.
Shaun, I wrote.
I'm leaving. Please, please, don't tell anyone why. Pretend you don't know. Act like I never existed.
Don't come looking for me. I want you to finish college, and ilipat on. You deserve happiness, which I can't ever give you, no matter how much I wish I could. And don't blame yourself. It's my fault. It's entirely my fault.
I still pag-ibig you, and I always will.
Serena.
A small tear fell onto the page. I turned my head, and ripped the page from the pad.
I pinned it to the door of my bedroom.
I glanced back over my shoulder one last time, as I closed the door of my apartment, and closed the door on everyone I'd ever known and loved.
I couldn't tell my mom. I tried, and I just couldn't. What's worse, she didn't try to make me.
**************************************************
Later, I had cried out every tear I had, but it wasn't enough.
Just as I'd parked my car outside the complex where I now lived, a spark of hope flared inside me.
No one ever would know.
I sprinted up the stairs, I just couldn't handle the idleness of taking the elevator. I needed to run.
I burst through the door and immediately headed for the hall closet.
I pulled out a large suitcase and stuffed as many of my clothes as I could in it.
**************************************************
Finally, I was packed. But I still wasn't done. There was one last thing I needed to do.
I ran into the kitchen, grabbed a pencil and pulled a pad of lila paper out from under the phone.
I knew who would come looking for me first.
Shaun, I wrote.
I'm leaving. Please, please, don't tell anyone why. Pretend you don't know. Act like I never existed.
Don't come looking for me. I want you to finish college, and ilipat on. You deserve happiness, which I can't ever give you, no matter how much I wish I could. And don't blame yourself. It's my fault. It's entirely my fault.
I still pag-ibig you, and I always will.
Serena.
A small tear fell onto the page. I turned my head, and ripped the page from the pad.
I pinned it to the door of my bedroom.
I glanced back over my shoulder one last time, as I closed the door of my apartment, and closed the door on everyone I'd ever known and loved.
Hate.Disappointment.Regret.They all make up some of the worst thing in our lives...then why can't we just give it up?Give it up and just throw all our problems away?The answer is simple because this,this is reality not a fairytale or some fiction story,where the writer can just have their way over their characters like puppets.No.Not at all in reality does one have their way to control their life or the lies that people tell them.There's no stopping your troubles in life or changing the regret you've made in the past ...it's life.
Sometimes its Easier to inore the truth
to forget about everything
to sit in a closet and hide forever
Sometimes its Easier, to blame yourself
To think its your falt
To ipakita no emotion
Sometimes It's easier to keep everything inside
to not let anyone know
to hide everything.
To me, Its easier to say something
To talk
to cry
Its easier to Feel Emotions
Anger, rage, Sadness,
but not fear
Fear is my enemey
He wants to take over my mind
Keep me locked up inside.
I'm tired of being scared
I'm tired of being locked in my own world
I'm tired of being a prisoner.
I will not be afraid,
I will not Let him Win
to forget about everything
to sit in a closet and hide forever
Sometimes its Easier, to blame yourself
To think its your falt
To ipakita no emotion
Sometimes It's easier to keep everything inside
to not let anyone know
to hide everything.
To me, Its easier to say something
To talk
to cry
Its easier to Feel Emotions
Anger, rage, Sadness,
but not fear
Fear is my enemey
He wants to take over my mind
Keep me locked up inside.
I'm tired of being scared
I'm tired of being locked in my own world
I'm tired of being a prisoner.
I will not be afraid,
I will not Let him Win
Heyy there, I know in my last entry I sinabi I would write on Friday- but I didn't. Theres actually loads of things that have happened to me in the last few days/week. Im not gonna tell you though! I had no comments on the last entry but as soon as I get some feedback im gonna start Pagsulat to you again- Im a very busy person. I go to school, I play football (soccer-(Im english)-) along with my Pagsulat I also sing alot so I have many things to do/practice. Go look for my last entry and you will understand partly why im jabbering on :) pag-ibig to the people of the earth~ Cait xxx- 20th September 2011