The Last Goodbye
I am standing on my tiptoes with my arms around him and he is bending down so that I can reach. There are tears of joy, and cheering. It is too loud to hear even my own thoughts but somehow I still manage to hear the sound of my puso in my ears as I cling to my friend. After a long moment, we both pull back slightly and my hands slide over the strange fabric of his bright blue graduation gown. I look up at him knowing this could be the last times I see my most treasured friends. His hand leaves my shoulder, and he places it lightly on my face. My puso nearly stops as something in his face changes. Every nerve in my body is on edge. Why is he doing this to me? I know he doesn’t feel the same he has never even considered it. Still he slides his hand slowly pasulong and down until his thumb is touching the corner of my mouth. The tip of his finger traces the line of my bottom lip until it reaches the center of my lips and rests there. He isn’t looking at my eyes he is looking at his hand as he slowly pulls his thumb lower and the pressure causes my lips to separate. I let out a hot breath and the air hits his skin, and he lowers his thumb and the rest of his fingers ilipat until he is holding my face sa pamamagitan ng the chin. I have been waiting for this moment for so long. I have been waiting for him to stop seeing me as his young freshman friend that he watched graduate high school and finish the first taon of college. He is finally seeing me, a young woman. He really is the perfect guy. He never thought of me in a degrading way, he was always gentle, kind, and wise. He never saw how much harder that made it for me to resist, and now he is looking at me and I know he is truly seeing me for the first time. He is leaning toward me, it’s a scene I’ve played in my head so many times it hurts, and all I can think is:
“Don’t.”
I whisper the word with closed eyes and pull away. He lets go and both our arms fall to our sides. The confusion in his light brown eyes is clear, but I don’t know if it is caused sa pamamagitan ng my words, or sa pamamagitan ng his sudden realization that I’m not a little kid anymore but I explain anyway.
“Jonathan, this isn’t you, and I can’t do this. As much as I would pag-ibig to just stand here and let this happen—let you halik me—and forget that you are leaving soon, forget that I may not ever see you again after this summer, forget that afterwards you will regret it with all your heart, and then have to break mine, I can’t. But if you do, if you can see us. If you think you could pag-ibig me, for madami than just today then do it. halik me. But unless you have thought about it, unless you have weighed the pros and cons, unless you see the possibility for a real relationship here—don’t. Unless you know in your puso that this isn't just something you will feel now and regret later, then please, don’t.”
A tear rolls down my face and madami swim in my eyes blurring my vision and I can hardly see his face. In that split second—my taste of eternity—it felt as though all the hurt in the world was mine to bear. The moment stretched forever, I was conscious of ever heartbeat that didn’t happen, while I waited for my dreams to shatter or come true. Then I blinked, and the rest of the tears came flooding down clearing off my eyes so I can see him. He is just staring and thinking. He doesn’t ilipat and I don’t breathe. Then his gaze leaves the floor, and he is looking in my eyes again. For the segundo time in all the years that I’ve known him he touches my face and pulls me close, but his lips instead of meeting mine draw close to my ear, and in a chocked voice he whispers:
“I’m sorry.”
I am standing on my tiptoes with my arms around him and he is bending down so that I can reach. There are tears of joy, and cheering. It is too loud to hear even my own thoughts but somehow I still manage to hear the sound of my puso in my ears as I cling to my friend. After a long moment, we both pull back slightly and my hands slide over the strange fabric of his bright blue graduation gown. I look up at him knowing this could be the last times I see my most treasured friends. His hand leaves my shoulder, and he places it lightly on my face. My puso nearly stops as something in his face changes. Every nerve in my body is on edge. Why is he doing this to me? I know he doesn’t feel the same he has never even considered it. Still he slides his hand slowly pasulong and down until his thumb is touching the corner of my mouth. The tip of his finger traces the line of my bottom lip until it reaches the center of my lips and rests there. He isn’t looking at my eyes he is looking at his hand as he slowly pulls his thumb lower and the pressure causes my lips to separate. I let out a hot breath and the air hits his skin, and he lowers his thumb and the rest of his fingers ilipat until he is holding my face sa pamamagitan ng the chin. I have been waiting for this moment for so long. I have been waiting for him to stop seeing me as his young freshman friend that he watched graduate high school and finish the first taon of college. He is finally seeing me, a young woman. He really is the perfect guy. He never thought of me in a degrading way, he was always gentle, kind, and wise. He never saw how much harder that made it for me to resist, and now he is looking at me and I know he is truly seeing me for the first time. He is leaning toward me, it’s a scene I’ve played in my head so many times it hurts, and all I can think is:
“Don’t.”
I whisper the word with closed eyes and pull away. He lets go and both our arms fall to our sides. The confusion in his light brown eyes is clear, but I don’t know if it is caused sa pamamagitan ng my words, or sa pamamagitan ng his sudden realization that I’m not a little kid anymore but I explain anyway.
“Jonathan, this isn’t you, and I can’t do this. As much as I would pag-ibig to just stand here and let this happen—let you halik me—and forget that you are leaving soon, forget that I may not ever see you again after this summer, forget that afterwards you will regret it with all your heart, and then have to break mine, I can’t. But if you do, if you can see us. If you think you could pag-ibig me, for madami than just today then do it. halik me. But unless you have thought about it, unless you have weighed the pros and cons, unless you see the possibility for a real relationship here—don’t. Unless you know in your puso that this isn't just something you will feel now and regret later, then please, don’t.”
A tear rolls down my face and madami swim in my eyes blurring my vision and I can hardly see his face. In that split second—my taste of eternity—it felt as though all the hurt in the world was mine to bear. The moment stretched forever, I was conscious of ever heartbeat that didn’t happen, while I waited for my dreams to shatter or come true. Then I blinked, and the rest of the tears came flooding down clearing off my eyes so I can see him. He is just staring and thinking. He doesn’t ilipat and I don’t breathe. Then his gaze leaves the floor, and he is looking in my eyes again. For the segundo time in all the years that I’ve known him he touches my face and pulls me close, but his lips instead of meeting mine draw close to my ear, and in a chocked voice he whispers:
“I’m sorry.”
~ Chapter 1: Dreams
Love. Unconditional and pure pag-ibig was there, found in their hearts. Feelings, pure and strong lived from araw to day.
But the days were cold. Cold wind froze their dreams.
A child was born.
Dreams, spreading its roots, now slowly fade.
But still live and last in the hearts of the dreamers.
A child wasn't a part of a dream, though.
It wasn't. But pag-ibig was still there, although destroyed sa pamamagitan ng many issues, it started fading slowly like a smothered flame.
Mother's eyes was full of hope and puso full of love, so pure, so gentle.
She knew. Life won't be gatas and honey, though she must be strong.
Looking at her baby girl, happy and sad in the same time, so many thoughts were flying through her head.
So many questions, perhaps a small dose of regret.
She felt sadness inside.
pag-ibig was still there, that pure pag-ibig that kept them alive, though these dreams they both had were somehow far and unreal.
A flame of pag-ibig was still burning...
Love. Unconditional and pure pag-ibig was there, found in their hearts. Feelings, pure and strong lived from araw to day.
But the days were cold. Cold wind froze their dreams.
A child was born.
Dreams, spreading its roots, now slowly fade.
But still live and last in the hearts of the dreamers.
A child wasn't a part of a dream, though.
It wasn't. But pag-ibig was still there, although destroyed sa pamamagitan ng many issues, it started fading slowly like a smothered flame.
Mother's eyes was full of hope and puso full of love, so pure, so gentle.
She knew. Life won't be gatas and honey, though she must be strong.
Looking at her baby girl, happy and sad in the same time, so many thoughts were flying through her head.
So many questions, perhaps a small dose of regret.
She felt sadness inside.
pag-ibig was still there, that pure pag-ibig that kept them alive, though these dreams they both had were somehow far and unreal.
A flame of pag-ibig was still burning...
Texas Rancho Viejo 1942
Bonnie's POV
I walked quickly down the dusty dirt road, I kicked and scrapped pebbels, It was hot and dry today, another great thing when your isolated! *CRASH* I gasped, I slowed to a stop and carfully and slowwly turned around. Behind me stood a man. He had wild brown hair and blue piercing eyes, He held a gun and a charcol covered teddy bear. He smiled and inchined twords me. "Whoa pardner, who are you?" I asked in my thick texian accent. "I am a friend" He sinabi kindly. I suspiciously eyed him up and down. I reached into my back pocket and gripped my fingers around a gun I found. "Dont be afraid i'll make it all better" He moved closer to me, I panicked.Is this the phantom murder? I thought. I pulled out my gun and aimed it at him. "I dont think you will"
I sinabi sweetly, then I triggered it and shot him, he fell to the ground stunned. I smiled. When your isolated in texas you cant trust anyone. and i mean ANYONE.
Bonnie's POV
I walked quickly down the dusty dirt road, I kicked and scrapped pebbels, It was hot and dry today, another great thing when your isolated! *CRASH* I gasped, I slowed to a stop and carfully and slowwly turned around. Behind me stood a man. He had wild brown hair and blue piercing eyes, He held a gun and a charcol covered teddy bear. He smiled and inchined twords me. "Whoa pardner, who are you?" I asked in my thick texian accent. "I am a friend" He sinabi kindly. I suspiciously eyed him up and down. I reached into my back pocket and gripped my fingers around a gun I found. "Dont be afraid i'll make it all better" He moved closer to me, I panicked.Is this the phantom murder? I thought. I pulled out my gun and aimed it at him. "I dont think you will"
I sinabi sweetly, then I triggered it and shot him, he fell to the ground stunned. I smiled. When your isolated in texas you cant trust anyone. and i mean ANYONE.
Always running
All the time,
Chasing a dream
As I follow the signs.
Out of breath
I miss a turn,
I wander the paths
Ready to learn.
I start to get impatient
I'm working so hard,
So how come I'm not there yet
I've played all my cards.
Life is like a rollercoaster
Mine never stops,
It takes me round in circles
Back to the start.
There are so many highs and lows
Yet they''re all the same,
I need a change of track
Something different to my name.
Each step I take aches my body
And I'm waiting for the day,
That a different train will come along
And take me a different way.
All the time,
Chasing a dream
As I follow the signs.
Out of breath
I miss a turn,
I wander the paths
Ready to learn.
I start to get impatient
I'm working so hard,
So how come I'm not there yet
I've played all my cards.
Life is like a rollercoaster
Mine never stops,
It takes me round in circles
Back to the start.
There are so many highs and lows
Yet they''re all the same,
I need a change of track
Something different to my name.
Each step I take aches my body
And I'm waiting for the day,
That a different train will come along
And take me a different way.
Dusty Streets
A blazing sun,
pagkain and Water
There is none.
Living on hope
Crying out,
Helping others
Around and about.
Children Shouting
They wail and cry,
Willing for a change
A signal, a sign.
They're grateful for everytihng
Whatever comes their way,
They're constantly working
All night, all day.
The air is filthy
They cough and they weep,
They want to survive
They sniffle and sleep.
Begging off strangers
It's all they can do,
Someone to help them
It could be you.
-Emily Eaton (13)
A blazing sun,
pagkain and Water
There is none.
Living on hope
Crying out,
Helping others
Around and about.
Children Shouting
They wail and cry,
Willing for a change
A signal, a sign.
They're grateful for everytihng
Whatever comes their way,
They're constantly working
All night, all day.
The air is filthy
They cough and they weep,
They want to survive
They sniffle and sleep.
Begging off strangers
It's all they can do,
Someone to help them
It could be you.
-Emily Eaton (13)
I have a secret: I'm afraid. I'm terribly afraid that I AM GOING TO DIE. I didn't ask for leukemia. Nor did I expect it. Especially not chronic myelogenous leukemia. Especially when chronic myelogenous leukemia tends to affect the OLDER males, and I'm only what, 14?
But do you know why it has to be a secret? I have a family: my dad and Jae, my youngest sister. [Yeah, I have two more, but, they're out of my life at the moment.] They cried their hearts out once I was diagnosed. They were afraid that they'd lose another family member--after all, my mother passed away after a car accident. I promised to be strong. For Dad. For Jae. For Mom.
But if being strong means that I have to hold back all these tears, that I have to surpress all my fear in order to comfort my family, sometimes I wish I didn't make that promise.
But do you know why it has to be a secret? I have a family: my dad and Jae, my youngest sister. [Yeah, I have two more, but, they're out of my life at the moment.] They cried their hearts out once I was diagnosed. They were afraid that they'd lose another family member--after all, my mother passed away after a car accident. I promised to be strong. For Dad. For Jae. For Mom.
But if being strong means that I have to hold back all these tears, that I have to surpress all my fear in order to comfort my family, sometimes I wish I didn't make that promise.
I was in the class the other day, and Mrs.Crosswaer was handing out new assignments. And he stared at me! Oh his name is Sam, and he was staring at me dreamly!!!!!!!!!!!
It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooool!
I am SO SORRY! It had to be lonfer so yeah!
It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooool!
I am SO SORRY! It had to be lonfer so yeah!