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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my listahan of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let you know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything or eating anything you might spit it or something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the walis late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baya they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's paborito vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the kabute have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do you call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do you make an octopus giggle ten times?
You give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do you make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's paborito composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between you and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't you hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher sinabi it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the kamatis blush?
It saw the salad dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do you know if it's raining Pusa and dogs?
You step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do you know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do you get pikachu on a bus?
You pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't you dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton tumawid the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's kulay-rosas and fluffy?
kulay-rosas fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
kulay-rosas fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when you drink 7 coca colas?
You burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the isda say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't you trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope you liked them. Make sure you check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall pader and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 segundos and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....
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Okay! Hi! I'm AzulaFanboi (A TOTAL NEWB) and thought I would start things off with a BANG and lay out how much of a FREAK I am. I am a pansexual male soooo... yeah this might get a little weird. lol
These men are just sexy to me and I NEED to share them with the world m'kay?
Also, I have an obsession with hair... so... yeah... be prepared for that.

P.S. Ya'll should totally check out my home-boy kataralover's article, which was totally my inspiration. Here is the link to his ranking of sexy men (although he calls his handsome). You may see some crossovers! XD




100.    Shunsuke...
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This was definitely the most difficult listahan I've made so far. I even made a few changes when I was deciding the ranking. You can obviously tell that this wasn't easy and took A LOT of dedication in order for me to figure it out. First of all, I will only be talking about the tuktok 10 and just listing the other women and ipinapakita pictures. I figured that it not only makes it easier for me to make but also makes it easier for you guys to read and not be overwhelmed. I hope you enjoy it and keep in mind this is just my personal opinion. Please don't forget to comment and I can't wait to hear what...
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just being random!
video
added by cici1264
Source: The rock dressed as miley cyrus
They both had nose jobs.
They both over-obsess about a certain guy.
They both loosed weight over their teenage years purposely.
They both hate everybody.
They both have thier "posse."
They both had a facial implant.
They both thier parents and wish they were borne somebody else.
They both have issues with their body.
They both wear makeup. (Voldemort likes the goth, angered soul type. It bumagay him better.)
They both can't trust anyone, but themselves.
And that's it:)
Role Play:
Voldemort: "What?! What is this filthy mudblood saying about me?"
Deatheater: "Well Lord it seems that she is calling you an...
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posted by invadercalliope

Just killing time until the world ends.
Rika Furude (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni)

◦Friends are nothing madami than the the people who you spend the fun yet meaningless times with. When those times get rough, they aren't there to support you.
Ryuuguu Rena (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni)
"I will live past June 1983, and then I am going to grow much taller, my breasts are going to get bigger. I'm not going to stay in a child's body for the rest of my life!"
"It's so cute, I want to take it home!"

"Omochiikaeri~!"

"Friends. Those companions you speak of are only mga kaibigan during those fun, yet unimportant...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON YOU DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All araw long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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added by fanfly
Source: wallpaperswide.com
posted by Mallory101
Just some of my favorite quotes.
------------------------------------------------


•Dance like your vagina's on fire.

•Don't be a dick just grow one.

•He haunts me like a nightmare, his image is everywhere, he doesn't leave me alone, i can't escape him or erase him, when i know he's not coming
home.

•If you want something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've done.

•How can I go pasulong when I don't know which way I'm facing.

•No one is free, Even the birds are chained to the sky.

•And the feeling when I'm with you,right there, is the exact reason why I never gave up...
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Jetzt geht's los Freunde
Hier ist Markus Becker und die Mallorca Cowboys und das rote Pferd

Wir singen zusammen
Da hat das rote Pferd sich einfach umgekehrt
und hat mit seinem Schwanz die Fliege abgewehrt
Die Fliege war nicht dumm,
sie machte summ,summ,summ
Und flog mit viel Gebrumm
um's rote Pferd herum

lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala

Ok Freunde,
das war nicht schlecht für yungib Anfang
Aber da geht noch was
Seit ihr gut drauf? Jaaa
Habt ihr lust zu feiern? Jaaa
Dann macht euch bereit und singt mit uns zusammen


Die Fliege...
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added by RoohWinchester
Source: Google
[Everybody Loves Raymond] 116 - Diamonds #385
Marie: Oh I used to pag-ibig Valentines Day!... then I met your father.
Frank: I used to pag-ibig every day.
Contributed sa pamamagitan ng funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 121 - Fascinating Debra #409
Debra: There's nothing funny about me to imitate y'know?
Ray: Oh, what are you talking about? Here I'll do you. "Ray, get off of me, it's not your birthday"
Contributed sa pamamagitan ng funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 202 - Father Knows Least #380
Ray: Look, you have to do what Mommy says.
Ally: Why?
Ray: 'Cause I do.
Contributed sa pamamagitan ng funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond]...
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How is it going, everyone. Welcome back to Watching Outside Your Xbox Window While You Rant at Night. I’m your host, TatsMojo, and today, we’ll be taking a look at the strangest video games that you have never heard of. Number 10: Katamari Damacy. This strange little gem was made on the weird side of the world, Japan. You’ve probably never heard of this (What the fuck am I doing?)
In all seriousness, when I hear about these weird games and the whole, “What were these developers doing? Snorting LSD and drinking PSP and doing funny weed?” is a mindset that just screams that you really...
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Saturday Night Live skit where Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson invents a child molesting robot. I didn't know about this until today.
video
posted by Seanthehedgehog

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


Song: link

Naboo, six months before the events of The Empire Strikes Back.

Human 49: Attention Naboo. Ceci est un message important. La rébellion prévoit une invasion. Ils nous aideront à sortir l'empire de notre planète. (Attention Naboo. This is an important message. The Rebellion is planning an invasion. They will help us push the empire out of our planet.)

Meanwhile, far from Yavin 4, hundreds of Mon Calamari Starships were travelling with blockade runners, Rebel Transports, U-Wings, Y-Wings,...
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