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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my listahan of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let you know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything or eating anything you might spit it or something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the walis late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baya they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's paborito vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the kabute have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do you call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do you make an octopus giggle ten times?
You give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do you make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's paborito composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between you and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't you hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher sinabi it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the kamatis blush?
It saw the salad dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do you know if it's raining Pusa and dogs?
You step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do you know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do you get pikachu on a bus?
You pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't you dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton tumawid the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's kulay-rosas and fluffy?
kulay-rosas fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
kulay-rosas fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when you drink 7 coca colas?
You burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the isda say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't you trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope you liked them. Make sure you check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
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posted by Mallory101
Just some of my favorite quotes.
------------------------------------------------


•Dance like your vagina's on fire.

•Don't be a dick just grow one.

•He haunts me like a nightmare, his image is everywhere, he doesn't leave me alone, i can't escape him or erase him, when i know he's not coming
home.

•If you want something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've done.

•How can I go pasulong when I don't know which way I'm facing.

•No one is free, Even the birds are chained to the sky.

•And the feeling when I'm with you,right there, is the exact reason why I never gave up...
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sa pamamagitan ng a Harry Potter fan.

1) Ask them if being a Potterhead means they smoke pot.
2) Point out how much madami successful Robert Patz was in Twilight.
3) Steal their Hogwarts robes.
4) Pretend to know what a Hufflepuff is.
5) Ask them why there is no yellow brick road in Hogwarts.
6) Get confused between Voldemort and Dumbledore.
8) Never use the number 7.
9) Call Bellatrix 'Big Head'
10) Ask loudly why Fred and George never noticed their brother was sleeping with a strange man.
11) Laugh at Dobby's death.
12) Refer to Hedwig as 'the strange birdie'
13) Buy them an Umbridge inspired dress for Christmas.
14)...
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added by 8theGreat
added by shaneoohmac13
(Hello there! If you're new to this series, here's the basics. I take comments asking tanong from the last episode and answer them in the susunod article, but with Robotnik! As a result you'll see some pretty funny stuff. XD Hope you enjoy our third episode of Ask Dr. Robotnik!)

(By now it's pretty much a rule that every episode will come out 10 days after the last one. Seriously, the first one was made 20 days ago, the segundo was made 10 days ago, and here I am making it right now. Coincidence? Ah, whatever. XD)

And now, it's shout-out time! Here is a special thank you to all the people who...
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added by xwolf19
I want everyone who is having a bad araw to feel better and everyone who is having a good araw to feel better. The cure is tuta and dogs, who are cute. Just click the picture if you want a closer look at the awesomeness of Aso ( or if you just want to make the picture larger)

That poor girl, but uy a dog gotta go when they gotta go. Hopefully your araw is going better than hers.




You will never see the Pixar lamp the same way again.




The poor dog is in a cage, but uy at least he is trying to get out. 10 dog treats for him.




That is just wrong, you do not steal another dogs...
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I find this funny. PEDOBEAR APPROVED.
video
katakut-takot na pasta
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