walang tiyak na layunin artikulo | Original artikulo on Fanpop

5

Marriage mga panipi sa pamamagitan ng Men

posted by karpach_14

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a big car, the pag-ibig of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend. 'My wife found out..'

Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get tahanan before I do, leave the hallway light on.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be...

2

Please Stop Animal Cruelty!

posted by AngelVicki427

I put up this artikulo just to inform u on how horrible animaal cruelty is, not to be negative or anything.
__________________________________________________
One rapidly growing concept is animal cruelty.
Animal cruelty simply means cruel unwarranted treatment of animals. Such treatment generally has a single point program - to subject mga hayop and sometimes pets to unnecessary harm and pain. One major type of animal cruelty is torture.
Neglect and abandonment are the most common forms of companion animal abuse in the United States.
Scientists estimate that 100 species go extinct every day! That's...

3

chicken and a horse joke

posted by jessicamc26

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car pasulong saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.

On The Block Episode 18

posted by Seanthehedgehog

Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: How is everypony doing today?
Audience: Good.
Master Sword: That word is used too often. Not only does it describe the way you're feeling, but it also describes... Ah, forget it.
Tom: Save the screw ups for the bloopers, okay?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: We have a special guest on our ipakita today, and his name is Nocturnal Mirage.
Audience: *Cheering*
Mirage: *Arrives*
Master Sword: Hey, good to see you again....

5

blonde jokes

posted by karpach_13

Blonde Cop

This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.

The blonde driver looks all around in her pitaka and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”

“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.

The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”

“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”

Civic Lesson

In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications...

5

Desktop Fun Prank

posted by australia-101

Desktop Fun Prank

This works best on someone without much computer knowledge. If you know of someone who is constantly talking about how stupid their PC is, or always seem to be lucky enough to get the newest virus before anyone else...this trick is for them.

You will need:

- Access to their computer
- Ability to take screenshots, change desktop wallpaper, and other basic computer skills

How this prank works:
You take a screenshot of someone's desktop (with or without apps running or photoshopping "enhancements"), than place that image as their desktop wallpaper. If you are decent with using photoshop...

2

Loyalty mga panipi

posted by IloveMyLord

The scholar does not consider ginto and jade to be precious treasures, but loyalty and good faith.
Confucius
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
Mark Twain
An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
Elbert Green Hubbard

Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its puso the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.
Woodrow T. Wilson
Loyalty ... is a realization that America was born of revolt, flourished in dissent, became great through experimentation.
Henry S. Commager
Total loyalty is possible only when fidelity is emptied of all concrete content, from...

6

How to be annoying at a Funeral

posted by ShadowProve13

Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until you find your contact lens.

Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first.

Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased.

At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.

Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.

Ask the widow to give you a kiss.

Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin.

Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the...

8

Why Guys pag-ibig Girls ?

posted by JonasLuver1

Why Guys pag-ibig Girls:

1. The way they always smell good even if it’s just shampoo
2. The way they always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our ams
5. The way they halik you ad make everything alright in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the it’s all worthwhile
8. The way they are always warm even if it’s minus 30 degrees
9. The way the look good no matter what they wear
10. The way she fished for compliments even though you both know she’s the most beautiful...

2

How to be walang tiyak na layunin

posted by KateKicksAss

This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!

Of course, if you are TRULY random, you shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever you may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases or monologues or pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of mga kaibigan or logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if you got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and you can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...

10

10 THINGS PEOPLE DO THAT ARE ANNOYING

posted by gabriellel93

1. Call themselves ugly.
-You're beautiful. So what if you don't look like a movie bituin because there's always someone prettier than that movie star.
-Be yourself.

2. Call themselves fat.
-Just because you pag-ibig to eat doesn't necessarily mean your fat. I eat so much pagkain in one araw you'd think I'm gonna go feed an army.
-If you want to eat, eat. If people don't like it then you throw whatever you're eating at them.

3. Twerk.
-Stop twerking! Especially if you don't have no ass.

4. Care what people think of them.
-Fuck those people because you're worrying about someone you may never see again or someone...

2

I need help

posted by XxKeithHarkinxX

jnrm:
ugh... your depressed AGAIN...
8:00pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
Aye.
Do you want to knwo why?
8:01pmjnrm:
not again..... thats like the 10000000th time this month
8:01pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
first time actually
8:12pmjnrm:
uh huh...
8:13pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
My god, it's help if you actually supported me instead of treating it liek someone kinda of joke
8:14pmjnrm:
Well im sorry but you say the same thing every time taylor, i just have a hard time beleiving you now after you keep saying the same thing over and over again
8:14pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
You don't even knwo what it's about this time
8:16pmjnrm:
yah well ive got a...

8

50 Fun Things To Do At Walmart

posted by selenagomezfan7

found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuto intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to sumali in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department sa pamamagitan ng sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...

2

Amnesia part 3:i call my self....

posted by Insane4ever

uy so this is the 3rd part of my story,changed a little,sorry for misspells n if you didnt see the nakaraan 2 parts you have a button under the artikulo 2 see all my articles...n chose the amnesia story ones....

So our character is walking around the desert.....well lets see whats he thinking about,lets be him....

Characters point of view:
im starwing,thirsty,dont know where the hell i am.im trying to keep my self sane,but it isnt working.i decided couse i dont know my name i will have to think of one......il have to think of a name for my self,"how many people do that eh.maybe i could call my...

3

pasko tanong and asnwers

posted by karpach_14

Q: What do elves learn in school?

A: The Elf-abet!

Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts" !

Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!

Q: What do you get when you tumawid a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.

Q: What do you get when you tumawid an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter ?
A: Because it's to far to...

Changes

posted by milorox18

"Friends forever‚" you promised.
"Together till the end."
We did everything with each other.
You were my best friend.

When I was sad‚ you were sa pamamagitan ng my side.
When I was scared‚ you felt my fear.
You were my best support-
If I needed you‚ you were there.

You were the greatest friend‚
You always knew what to say:
You always made everthing seem better.
As long as we had each other‚
Everything would be okay.

But somewhere along the line‚
We slowly came apart.
I was here‚ you were there‚
It tore a hole in my heart.

Things were changing‚
Our cheerful music reversed its tune.
It was like having salt...

Canada24's tuktok 4 guilty pleasure games

posted by Canada24

1: KANE AND LYNCH DEADMEN:
This game was my childhood.. Somehow, admittedly my parents were very loose, long as we knew it was fake we were allowed to play violent video games. Or least we liked to sneak them as mom and dad didn't much pay attention to what we did in that regard.. Anyway the best way to play this game is the same way it's best to play Army of Two or Left 4 Dead, play it 2 player, with a close friend.. That's why I have so many fond memories, it's not the game itself but the memories of playing it with friends.. I have never played the sequel, but don't much want to either.....

66

236 Things to do when you're bored...

posted by 18squirt

Wax the ceiling.
Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car.
Drop your cat from a high place, to see if it really does land on all four feet.
Repeat above until failure.
Rearrange political campaign signs.
Sharpen your teeth.
Play Houdini with one of your siblings.
Braid your Aso hair.
Clean and polish your belly button.
Water your dog...see if he grows.
Wash a tree.
Knight yourself and some close friends.
Found the Jim Jones' School of Modern Bartending.
Flirt with an evergreen.
Scare Steven King.
Give your cat a mohawk.
Purr.
Mow your carpet.
Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings.)...

2

TEST YOUR TONGUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

posted by kitkat709477

Find the 3 and u will get a halik tommorow SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSS3SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS find the B! DON'T skip or ur wish wont come true... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...

6

Do you know about CISV?

posted by lucius_malloy

"We must start with the children."
- Doris Twitchell Allen

Some history
In 1946, Dr. Doris Allen had an idea that eventually came to change the lives of thousands of children and adults across the globe. If kids were ibingiay the chance to learn about other cultures and make international friends, they would sa pamamagitan ng default, be less willing to fight sinabi friends. Thus they would choose to work towards world peace.
What started out as a single camp with delegates from eight countries in 1951 has now expanded to seven different international activities, with over 190,000 people having participated in over...