How do I become sarcastic?
"You answer tanong such as THIS one"
My house is on fire, what do I do?
"You get off the fuckin computer and go outside!"
Can you get pregnant from watching porn?
"Only on wednesdays"
Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
"Your not drinking ENOUGH of it!"
I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
"GOOD!"
Why are mga sanggol ugly at first?
"YOU try living inside a woman's vigina for so long!"
How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
"You take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start."
Is is normal to be in pag-ibig with your dog?
"... You need help"
Do you Pusa know when your masterbating? I'm asking for a friend?
"Your friend needs to stop smoking so much weed"
Do they have toliet paper in Canada?
"Coarse not! We use the flag of whatever country your from"
Is their birds in Canada:
"Obviously you never seen Alpha and Omega"
What happens if you paint your teeth white with nail polish?
"You die!"
How do I test if my pagong is gay?
"you ipakita it your penis, and see if it stares for madami than 20 seconds"
Are there autographs of Hesus Christ?
"No, they were all turned into wine"
"You answer tanong such as THIS one"
My house is on fire, what do I do?
"You get off the fuckin computer and go outside!"
Can you get pregnant from watching porn?
"Only on wednesdays"
Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
"Your not drinking ENOUGH of it!"
I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
"GOOD!"
Why are mga sanggol ugly at first?
"YOU try living inside a woman's vigina for so long!"
How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
"You take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start."
Is is normal to be in pag-ibig with your dog?
"... You need help"
Do you Pusa know when your masterbating? I'm asking for a friend?
"Your friend needs to stop smoking so much weed"
Do they have toliet paper in Canada?
"Coarse not! We use the flag of whatever country your from"
Is their birds in Canada:
"Obviously you never seen Alpha and Omega"
What happens if you paint your teeth white with nail polish?
"You die!"
How do I test if my pagong is gay?
"you ipakita it your penis, and see if it stares for madami than 20 seconds"
Are there autographs of Hesus Christ?
"No, they were all turned into wine"
#1:
Tell him ALL blonde girls are idiots..
#2:
Tell him a girl is "out of his league"..
#3:
Put on Country Music..
#4:
Put on ANY teen sitcom other than Sweet life of Zack and Cody, or patong lalaki and Josh. Heck. Even Icarly isn't too bad..
#5:
Convince him into giving a fuck about politics..
#6:
Steal his X-Box..
#7:
Make him watch PowerPuff Girls..
#8:
Remind him that he has no life outside of Fanpop..
#9:
Remind him that GTA 5 STILL doesn't friggin work, and I'm stuck with the 4 games..
#10:
Talk shit about his bidyo (just kidding)..
Tell him ALL blonde girls are idiots..
#2:
Tell him a girl is "out of his league"..
#3:
Put on Country Music..
#4:
Put on ANY teen sitcom other than Sweet life of Zack and Cody, or patong lalaki and Josh. Heck. Even Icarly isn't too bad..
#5:
Convince him into giving a fuck about politics..
#6:
Steal his X-Box..
#7:
Make him watch PowerPuff Girls..
#8:
Remind him that he has no life outside of Fanpop..
#9:
Remind him that GTA 5 STILL doesn't friggin work, and I'm stuck with the 4 games..
#10:
Talk shit about his bidyo (just kidding)..
#1: REMAIN CALM AND NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS:
The pating may not be planning to attack you.. So don't give the animal any reason to feel threatened. Don't try to out swim away either, unless you're already very close to shore. Sharks can swim 5 times faster than the average human, and this is the most popular mistake that people make. ilipat slowly toward the baybayin or a boat; choose whichever is closest. Don't thrash your arms or kick or splash while you swim..
#2: KEEP YOUR EYE ON IT:
And never block the shark's path. If you're standing between the pating and the open ocean, ilipat away, or else the pating will feel threatened..
#3: AIM FOR THE EYES:
If the pating DOSE attack, you still need to stay calm. I know this is easier sinabi than done. But. You need to remember one thing.. The eyes and gills are sensitive to shark, attacking these spots will harm the Shark, and it will back off..
The pating may not be planning to attack you.. So don't give the animal any reason to feel threatened. Don't try to out swim away either, unless you're already very close to shore. Sharks can swim 5 times faster than the average human, and this is the most popular mistake that people make. ilipat slowly toward the baybayin or a boat; choose whichever is closest. Don't thrash your arms or kick or splash while you swim..
#2: KEEP YOUR EYE ON IT:
And never block the shark's path. If you're standing between the pating and the open ocean, ilipat away, or else the pating will feel threatened..
#3: AIM FOR THE EYES:
If the pating DOSE attack, you still need to stay calm. I know this is easier sinabi than done. But. You need to remember one thing.. The eyes and gills are sensitive to shark, attacking these spots will harm the Shark, and it will back off..