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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my listahan of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let you know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything or eating anything you might spit it or something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the walis late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baya they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's paborito vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the kabute have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do you call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do you make an octopus giggle ten times?
You give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do you make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's paborito composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between you and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't you hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher sinabi it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the kamatis blush?
It saw the salad dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do you know if it's raining Pusa and dogs?
You step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do you know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do you get pikachu on a bus?
You pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't you dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton tumawid the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's kulay-rosas and fluffy?
kulay-rosas fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
kulay-rosas fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when you drink 7 coca colas?
You burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the isda say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't you trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope you liked them. Make sure you check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
posted by sakurahanazono
Alpha kenny body

1.)Write down on a piece of paper "Alpha kenny body" and get someone to read it. (it sounds like they're saying I'll fuck anybody xD)

I won a math debate

2.)Write down "I won a math debate" and once again get someone to read it. (It should sound like they're saying I want to masterbate xD)

Eye map ness

3.) Say: Eye
Spell: Map
Say: ness

Write this down on paper and you have to do as instructed on the left. (It sounds like they're saying I'm a penis xD)


Eye Emma rate hard

4.) write down "Eye emma rate hard" down on a piece of paper (it sounds like they're saying I'm a retard)

Eye M egg ay

5.) Say: Eye
Say: M
Say: egg
Say: ay

(It should sound like they're saying I am a gay xD)
1. Walk up to them and ask them for their autographs.
2. Walk up to them, introduce yourself extremely upbeat and friendly-like and end the conversation sa pamamagitan ng saying "It was nice to meet you. It's so cool to talk to people outside of the asylum." Then walk away.
3. While walking down the street, in a mall or any other such place, laugh out loud for no apparent reason. Be as creative with the way you laugh as you wish.
4. Run up to them, excitedly calling them Father, Mother, Aunt or Uncle. If you dare, hug them.
5. While passing a walang tiyak na layunin stranger, stop and exclaim to them, "You have no idea!" in a...
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Source: tumblr
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Source: listal
added by ilovekud
Source: ilovekud
added by Shelly_McShelly
Jetzt geht's los Freunde
Hier ist Markus Becker und die Mallorca Cowboys und das rote Pferd

Wir singen zusammen
Da hat das rote Pferd sich einfach umgekehrt
und hat mit seinem Schwanz die Fliege abgewehrt
Die Fliege war nicht dumm,
sie machte summ,summ,summ
Und flog mit viel Gebrumm
um's rote Pferd herum

lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala

Ok Freunde,
das war nicht schlecht für yungib Anfang
Aber da geht noch was
Seit ihr gut drauf? Jaaa
Habt ihr lust zu feiern? Jaaa
Dann macht euch bereit und singt mit uns zusammen


Die Fliege...
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posted by karpach_14
Bored? Need something to spice up your day? Why not annoy the living shit out of someone you love? Here are a few suggestions.

1. Go to the library. Every 15 minutes, go up to the same guy and joke, "Working hard or hardly working?"

2. At the dentist, start screaming as soon as you open your mouth.

3. Stand in front of the TV while your dad is watching a big game.

4. Every 30 minutos or so, call your friend who is babysitting and breathe into the phone.

5. Scrape your ring or your nails on the blackboard susunod time you're asked to do a problem at the board.

6. susunod konsiyerto you go to, yell out "Mmmbop!"...
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added by DeiJambastion
Source: Dei
Famous Newgrounds content creator, also known as Arin Hanson from the let’s play channel Game Grumps, was once a prolific animator and considered one of the biggest. If you don’t know Arin as an animator, you’d be forgiven for that. Arin Hanson’s old career has been buried and forgotten, but hey, times change right…. Right…. Right?! Hello, boys and girls. Welcome to another episode of Content Cop. Idubbbz here with the new rant article. I ranted before about David Cage and his creeping abilities, but now it’s time to talk about something else. It’s time to hit closer to home....
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Source: Manga
A matulin lunge at your soul but it's all in the mind
If you want to stuff me in a suit I'm sure you'll find
That the things that'll creep ya are sure to beat ya
Got to stay alive or they're going to meet ya

10 Rooms 5 vents and no doors at all
Not even a flashlight and no time to stall
Delay for a moment and through the vents they'll crawl
Almost dead, every sound I dread, and I see him in the hall.

YOYOYOYO WHAT'S UP BRO!?
YOU'RE THE NEW GUY, HIGH FIVE, TOO SLOW!
JUST LIVE FIVE NIGHTS, EACH ONE'S DIFFICULTY'S GREATER
YOU GOT THE BASICS DUDE, ALRIGHT SEE YOU LATER!

So night one, here we go,...
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added by DanDan211985
Source: DanDan211985
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