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I found this one on the internet:

Why did the chicken tumawid the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he was a maverick chicken, and he wanted to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken had to tumawid the road because he was not able to find a bridge. Alaskans do not build bridges to nowhere. If he wanted a bridge, he'd have to build it himself.

JOE BIDEN: The chicken crossed the road because he was heading back to Scranton .

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken tumawid the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from araw One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to tumawid the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not tumawid the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken tumawid the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's pagganap sa pamamagitan ng not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to tumawid this road so bad.So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a cert ain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken tumawid the road? Did he tumawid it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my araw we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the puso warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to tumawid the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only tumawid roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much madami stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really tumawid the road, or did the road ilipat beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
added by Tamar20
added by Smib
added by alizoula
added by TDIlover226
Source: Various websites
added by Cliff040479
Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/77371316@N00/72816738/
added by EminemAddict09
Source: my awesomeness
posted by Bluekait
An expert farmer is outstanding in her field.

An incompetent ship captain grounds the warship he walks on.

Camels live in Camelfornia.

Cannibals like to meat people.

Hands are like bells, especially when they're wrung.

How about the madala that was hit sa pamamagitan ng an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place? They sinabi it was a grizzly accident.

How about the man who ran through a screen door? He strained himself.

If life is like a bowl of cherries, what's the pasas for living?

In some places fog will never be mist.

Once upon a time, a tribe of cannibals caught a saint sent to them as a missionary...
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posted by nmdis
"Solo"


You speak to me
And in your words I hear a melody
But in the twilight it's so hard to see
What's wrong for me

I can't resist
Until you give the truth a little twist
As if you're gonna get away with this
You're not sorry

I can't believe I fell for this

I fell through the hole
Down at the bottom of your soul
Didn't think you could go
So low
Look at what you've done
You're losing me
Here's what you've won
Got me planning to go
Solo
Solo

You sing to me
Too bad you couldn't even stay on key
If your life is such a mystery
Why don't you stick to acting?

Here you go again...
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posted by nmdis
"Piercing"


Living in fear
Is not what you had
In mind for me
But holding to you
Is so hard
I cling to what I see

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're piercing me
This self will bleed
You're killing all
Of my securities
Lord, help me see the reality
That all I'll ever need is You

Here in this haze a distant light
Seems to draw me near
But in the shadow of my doubt
My faith just disappears

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're...
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posted by nmdis
IceCold
She fell in pag-ibig with a dope boy
Black diamonds on the neck of that dope boy
Big body Benz for that dope boy
Love every tattoo on that dope boy
She sheds tears for that dope boy
Shit, it is what it is for that dope boy
Handle minor biz for that dope boy
But the reward is major, so on and so forth
She can tell you sa pamamagitan ng the Greyhound
She can ipakita you how to stay down
I can tell you 'bout to break down
VS1's all in my asong babae watch face now
Straight G's for your low esteem
A.P's for the whole team
As I run away from my obituary
Walking in the shit that'll get you buried
Miami's mine like I'm Pat Riley
Baselines...
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posted by nmdis
Come and Get it
[chorus]
When you're ready come and get it (x2)
Na na na (x3)

When you're re-e-a-dy (x2)

When you're ready come and get it
Na na na (x3)

You ain’t gotta worry it’s an open invitation
I’ll be sittin’ right here real patient
All araw all night I’ll be waitin’ standby
Can’t stop because I pag-ibig it, hate the way I pag-ibig you
All araw all night maybe I’m addicted for life, no lie.
I’m not too shy to ipakita I pag-ibig you, I got no regrets.
I pag-ibig you much to, much to hide you, this pag-ibig ain’t finished yet. This pag-ibig ain’t finished yet…
So baby whenever you’re ready…

[chorus]
When...
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Chapter One: Salvador

Silver Monroe skipped up the stone steps to Westover High School. Silver could have easily gotten almost any boy she wanted; only she had yet to find the one meant for her. She walked swiftly down the long hallways to her first class; math.

After about ten minutos the boy sitting behind her raised his hand, asking for water. Silver had been in mostly the same classes as him almost the entire taon and she had never heard him talk before. She had never really even noticed him before. He had long, blonde hair that was almost white and black eyes. The teacher, Mrs. Taylor dismissed...
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June 17th 100,000,000 BC 12 O'clock at night
Four children are born, quadruplets, the youngest born at the strike of midnight. The first child is named Queverial, the segundo Ceelarion, the third Ierailiasha, and the last one is named Mist. The father decides the last child should have a complex name as the others do but the mother has made up her mind that Mist is the perfect name.
Then she sends them through the mirror of fate to find there destiny and they may never return if they do not find it in time.

January 21st 90,000,000 BC 3:30 P.M.
The children grow up living in the chosen lands...
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Just a few things before the story; one, if there's something you don't like about it, please tell me! I want it to be as good as it can be. ^-^ Just please tell me in a respectful way, please. I would appreciate that. Thank you.
Also, this story will be a little (well, madami than a little) bloody and violent, and there may be some cussing later on. Just a warning.
That being said, I hope you like it!
_____________________________________________

Gnarled branches. Green leaves grew from them—green leaves spotted with yellows and reds. They rustled dryly, talking of the upcoming season of autumn....
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(Jade’s POV)

“John…I’m bored” I whined to my friend in the other room. “Well i’m sorry Jade, but i don’t know what do do about that” John sinabi walking in with a bowl of papkorn he popped himself. “What about Rose and Dave?” I asked sneaking some papkorn away from the bowl. “What about them?” Dave asked sitting the bowl on the coffee mesa in the middle of the room. “Can we invite them over? And can you change out of the girl’s uniform?” I asked. He cheeks grew pink, “It’s comfortable.” “Oh John, you little boy” I sinabi ruffling his hair up. “Fine Jade,...
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posted by Bluekait
There are some things about Justin Bieber, this "role model" for kids, that you may not know. Sorry to any of the Beliebers out there.

He's attacked and screamed obscenities at photographers. [1] He says rape happens for a reason. [2] He wrote in the guest book at Anne Frank's house that he "wishes she was a Belieber." [3] When he was asked to try being vegan, he spit out the vegan karneng hiniwa that was specially prepared for him and made gagging sounds. [4] He peed in a restaurant kitchen. [5] He's frequently late to his own concerts. [6] He's been kicked out and banned from places for throwing temper...
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Now, there's no denying that Dani is pretty adorable. She's playful and immature, just like a little girl should be, as you can see from the scene where she comes out of the closet and scares Max. She has the spirit of a cute little girl, as she loves trick-or-treating.

However, after the first few minutos of screen time she has, her character started going downhill for me. She screams for her mother at the tuktok of her lungs when Max refuses to take her trick-or-treating, which makes me think she's spoiled. She's pagganap all tough and bravo against ibon ng dyey and Ernie "Ice", but ends up doing this...
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posted by justinfangrrl
Hello, and Welcome to my article; in this artikulo I will tell you about the environment, what's happening now, what will happen VERY soon if we continue to pollute the earth and what we can do to stop it.

I will also tell you about the Idle no more movement and the First Nations who are leading it; it's trying to save the environment, like me.

So read and enjoy; perhaps I shall educate you in a good way.

Everything in this artikulo is true and based on Scientific, religious and environmental research and up to petsa facts.

***

Remember when the whole 2012 thing happened? Yeah, that was funny... Here...
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We all know what rednecks in 'Murica do best, partying, drinking and being stupid as fuck, but this might surprise you.

Sources close to the death investigation say it's likely Shain died from carbon monoxide poisoning.

"Buckwild" bituin Shain Gandee was found dead in a vehicle in West Virginia this morning ... 31 hours after the 21-year-old MTV reality bituin had been reported missing, this according to law enforcement.

According to officials, Gandee, his 48-year-old uncle David Gandee, and a third unidentified body were discovered dead in the vehicle in Sissonville, West Virginia. There was no sign...
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It's best if you say your opinion

Xbox 360 or ps3? (Xbox)

Twilight or Harry Potter? (duh Harry Potter)

Is metal good music? (Of course it is!)

What do you think of Justin Beiber? or One Direction? or... um... The Jonas Brothers? (They all suck)

Nintendo or Sega? (Niiiinnteendooo)

Should gays have rights? (NEVER!)

Should cannabis be legalized? (No Doubt)

Should America have better gun control? (yes)

Should mga hayop have rights? (yep)

Halo or COD? (Halo)

Is pokemon childish? (no)

Facebook or twitter? (Facebook)


AND NOW THE ULTIMATE WAY TO START ARGUMENTS ONLINE:

bituin wars Or trek which is better? (STAR WARS!)