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50 Things To Do In An Elavator:
1) Bite your own arm and when someone looks at you say: "Well pardon me if I have a craving for human flesh!"
2)Laugh psychoticaly in the cornor.
3)Say in a demonic voice "I belive it is time for me to feed on the souls of children again."
4)Dress up as the Lipstick Face Demon from insidious and shout "WHO estola MY LIGHT SABER?!?!"
5) Fall on the ground in a fatal position and begin rolling clockwise on the floor, keeping your head in the same place, and scream like your being posessed.
6) Say to absolutly no one "What?! You want me to kill him/her" and point at someone in the elavator.
7) Put on a fake mustache and sing "Tip Tow Through The Tulips" sa pamamagitan ng Tiny Tim.
8) Put a bag over your head and when no ones watching you say "Stop looking at me!"
9) Put on a Strangers mask (Doll-Face, Pin-Up, or the other guy whose name I dont know), twirl a bone in your hand, and glare at everyone from the cornor.
10) Push all of the buttons.
11) Stand there patiently. Haha! I kid. What I meant was scream "Were all gonna die!" when the elavator stops at a floor.
12) Start doing the disco.
13)Try to sell paper clips stuffed inside your jaket.
14) Jump up and down.
15) Run into the walls.
16)Yell your A B C's, messing up every so often, and reppetivly saying the letter Y when you reach it.
17)Squirt people with a water gun full of mustard.
18)Clean everything in sight.
19) Open up your cell and say," Dammit! The police are comin? Crap! Stay calm, i'll be right out! Get the car ready!"
20) Throw papkorn at people.
21)Say "What? Oh No, the voices are back. What did you say? Theyre coming for me?! The Martians are ccoming for me! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
22)Scream.
23)Drop to the floor and scream, "Oh Elavator floor! How ive missed you!"
24) Sing the Sponge Bob theme song.
25)Start saying swear words at a rapid pace.
26) Be all quiet and calm and then shout "Ha, Life! I beat you!"
27) Point at the ceiling and say in a mesmerized voice "Pretty windchimes!"
28) Shout, "I am the Sith Lord and I shall electrocute you all with my fists!!"
29)Start pagganap like a monkey.
30) Look at someone and when they look at you say, "That wasnt very scientific."
31)Breakdance!
32) Spin around in circles.
33) Say, "Allright, the games over. Who the hell estola my pineapple?"
34) Sing the McDonalds jingle.
35) Dress up like Santa and say "Ho ho ho! Im gonna eat you little kids this year! Ho ho ho!"
36) Sing Dont Stop Beliving and interpretive dance.
37) Halfway through fling yourself against the pader and stay there for as long as you dare.
38) Go up to walang tiyak na layunin people and shout "Do you wanna see my pet?!" and hold up a string.
39) Pretend to pass out and when they start to freak out jump up and sing Jingle Bells.
40)Find a friend and have them covered in ketchup, drag them in an elavator, and tell everyone in a maniacle voice you killed him/her, and then have your friend jump up and scream.
41) Yell, "No! It cant be!"
42)Sing an annoying song that will get stuck in everyone's heads.
43) Name all of the planets.
44) Speak in words no one understands, such as... "DGKJNHRGKJNERJGNRTJNTRKJNBHRJN!"
45) Take a flashlight and shine it in people's eyes.
46) Get a handful of baby powder and throw it in people's faces.
47)Bark like a dog.
48) Pretend to be a robot.
49) Get down on all fours and meow and run into walls.
50) Make wierd walang tiyak na layunin facial expressions.
(coming soon: 50 ways to get assasinated)
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Source: thehobbit.com
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: How is everypony doing today?
Audience: Good.
Master Sword: That word is used too often. Not only does it describe the way you're feeling, but it also describes... Ah, forget it.
Tom: Save the screw ups for the bloopers, okay?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: We have a special guest on our ipakita today, and his name is Nocturnal Mirage.
Audience: *Cheering*
Mirage: *Arrives*
Master Sword: Hey, good to see you again....
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posted by karpach_13
Blonde Cop


This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.

The blonde driver looks all around in her pitaka and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”

“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.

The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”

“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”



Civic Lesson

In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications...
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