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posted by Jekyde
Pretend you are two people.

The first, (we'll call them "J") is a good person. They are intelligent, popular, and is a respected member of the community. J can almost always tell right from wrong and deeply cares about others. A role model for young children, and for some adults as well, they are at the top. Truthful and social, they shall always be loved.


The second, (let's call them "H") is the exact opposite. They are not the brightest, infamous, and deeply feared sa pamamagitan ng all who sees them. H will do whatever they think is right from a single glance and often jumps to conclusions. Twisted and cruel, H commits murder at least once a week, even over the tiniest little things. Yet they never get found sa pamamagitan ng the law.


Now let's say you are "J". Every night you retire to your mesa and do little experiments. But the segundo the sun sinks under the horizon, you turn into "H" and commit mass murder. When the sun rises again, you know you have caused a stir in your town. The guilt builds inside you, getting worse and worse.

Sounds terrible, right? But the person I have just described is the one who happens to be Pagsulat down these words at this very moment.

Me.


Before you ask anything, I'm afraid this letter is coming to an end. The sky is beginning to darken...

Henry Jekyll
posted by chowjoyi
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If you have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your mga kaibigan come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary mga kaibigan that you ask their opinion of everything.

7. After you have your bath, balutin a bath towel around you and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...
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1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers you know.
12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to alisin above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary mga kaibigan that you talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome mga kaibigan and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time you read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though you may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't pag-ibig you, my love.

I loved you with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar you grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something or someone

3. Go up to a walang tiyak na layunin person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki walang tiyak na layunin noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a fountain run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to you in public about the...
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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask you say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing sando sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
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posted by fencingrocks
No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If you want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS or If you find a sando store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the pagkain court and go to a fast pagkain place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a mesa pag-awit elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as you can "I pag-ibig THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT araw AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until you see an old lady/guy...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while nakaraan and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask you somethingand i want you to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how you feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want you to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi or Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by xxXsk8trXxx
1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog pagkain is a beautiful thing to watch when you are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when you sleeeeeep.

13. Bye sinabi Santa while eating Blitzen.
added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: google
just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped sa pamamagitan ng terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds estola it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket estola it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...
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posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall pader and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 segundos and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....
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posted by slytherin360
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuto intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to sumali in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department sa pamamagitan ng sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
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OK here's part 3 - remember these aren't in any particular order

41.
Name: Tom Ward (Actor)
From: Silent Witness
Character: Dr Harry Cunningham
Attraction: He's just so gorgeous - very manly



42.
Name: Andrew Gower (Actor)
From: Being Human
Character: Nick Cutler
Attraction: His mouth and the way he talks (if you've not seen Being Human - you should watch it just for him lol) - and he looks a little like David Thewlis (although maybe not so much in this picture)



43.
Name: Alex Pettyfer (Actor)
From: Beastly
Character: Kyle
Attraction: Think it's actually the hair for me



44.
Name: James Buckley...
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posted by iLuvLouisCarrot
“So, Louis, the rumor’s true? Are you really secretly dating someone?”
Diana asked,
I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat. It was all Harry’s fault. Everyone thought I was dating someone because he sinabi that in the last interview we had.
For fucks sake, I didn’t know what the giddy aunt to say. I looked over at Harry, who was trying not to laugh.
“Yeah. Actually I am.”
It was a spur of the moment thing. I was just… errrggghhhhh.
The crowd gasped. Diana looked shocked. .
“Can you tell us who it is?”
She asked. She literally shoved the microphone in my face.
“I would tell you,...
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I got this from the joke app I have. Well, enjoy!

25 facts of life
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed sa pamamagitan ng the federal government is entertainment.
5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an...
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Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this upuan empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: uy baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world...
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