There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere ?
‘Hold my purse.’
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
If God wanted us to fly, He would have ibingiay us tickets.
Girls are like phones. We pag-ibig to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!
I’m very bravo generally, he went on in a low voice: “Only today I happen to have a headache.”
I refuse to answer that tanong on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.
We are all born mad. Some remain so.
Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minuto it begins to rain.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance ?
I did not write this
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere ?
‘Hold my purse.’
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
If God wanted us to fly, He would have ibingiay us tickets.
Girls are like phones. We pag-ibig to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!
I’m very bravo generally, he went on in a low voice: “Only today I happen to have a headache.”
I refuse to answer that tanong on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.
We are all born mad. Some remain so.
Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minuto it begins to rain.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance ?
I did not write this
1. Chickens say jerk jerk.
2. Cows say moop moop meep.
3. Bunnies say chirp chirp.
4. Lobsters say clurp clurp clurp.
5. Chickens say burgack burgack.
6. Dragons say shlurp shlurp.
7. Snakes say slither tither slither tither.
8. Elephants say near near fear near.
9. Moose say poooo poooo low.
10. Bears say guro guro guro.
11. Alligators say pow pow bow pow.
12. isda say blub blub blub.
13. mga kabayong may sungay say ashshnifafurfur.
14. Monkeys say quack quack quack brack.
15. Frogs say rebite rebite.
2. Cows say moop moop meep.
3. Bunnies say chirp chirp.
4. Lobsters say clurp clurp clurp.
5. Chickens say burgack burgack.
6. Dragons say shlurp shlurp.
7. Snakes say slither tither slither tither.
8. Elephants say near near fear near.
9. Moose say poooo poooo low.
10. Bears say guro guro guro.
11. Alligators say pow pow bow pow.
12. isda say blub blub blub.
13. mga kabayong may sungay say ashshnifafurfur.
14. Monkeys say quack quack quack brack.
15. Frogs say rebite rebite.
A husband went to the doctor and tells the doctor
"I think my wife is going deaf"
-Doc-"Just to find out do this test on her
stand 50 feet away from her and ask her something if she doesn't respond ilipat 10 feet closer and try the same thing as so forth"
So the husbad got tahanan and found the wife preparing hapunan and asks her
"Honey, Whats for dinner" No reply
he moves 10 feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" No reply
so he moved 10 madami feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" she ang sumagot back and says
"For the third freaking time its chicken"
"I think my wife is going deaf"
-Doc-"Just to find out do this test on her
stand 50 feet away from her and ask her something if she doesn't respond ilipat 10 feet closer and try the same thing as so forth"
So the husbad got tahanan and found the wife preparing hapunan and asks her
"Honey, Whats for dinner" No reply
he moves 10 feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" No reply
so he moved 10 madami feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" she ang sumagot back and says
"For the third freaking time its chicken"
Washington Post Competition asked for a two line rhyme with the most romantic first line and least romantic segundo line.
This is the (hands down!!) winner...
'My darling,my love,my beautiful life;
Marrying you simply demolished my life.
I see your face when i'm dreaming;
That's why i always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and HOT;
This describes everything you're not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take the paper bag off your face.
I pag-ibig your smile, your face, your eyes;
Damn,I'm good at telling lies!!!.'
This is the (hands down!!) winner...
'My darling,my love,my beautiful life;
Marrying you simply demolished my life.
I see your face when i'm dreaming;
That's why i always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and HOT;
This describes everything you're not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take the paper bag off your face.
I pag-ibig your smile, your face, your eyes;
Damn,I'm good at telling lies!!!.'