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posted by IsabellaMCullen
Found this on the net. If it's been posted here before (Because I'm not sure if it has) let me know and I'll remove it...


1. Go to order a large popcorn(like the biggest one they have). When they give it to you, look at it, then throw it on the floor angrily and start crying for no reason.

2. Wait until there's a funny part in the movie. When the laughter starts to die down, scream at the tuktok of your lungs.

3. Before the movie starts, sit near the front. Start moaning loudly and dancing wildly.

4. At the end of the movie, when the credits are rolling, stand up quickly and try to convince everyone that there's a secret scene before the credits end. While everyone stays to watch the "Secret Scene"(which does not exist) stand up and leave without anyone noticing.

5. Pretend to cough wildly and die when the trailers are playing.

6. If the theater is packed and a stranger sits susunod to you, go "Oh my god, is... is that you?" From here you can take many approaches. One is,"I haven't seen you in ages! Give your buddy a hug!" Another is,"You lying bastard! What the hell were you thinking?" Angrily ilipat to another upuan if you choose the latter.

7. Try to see how many pieces of papkorn you can put in the hair of the person in front of you without them noticing.

8. Come inside the theater in the middile of a movie. Walk along the front where evertone can see you. Trip and fall, then quietly slip out of the theater.

9. During the movie, keep turning around to look at the person behind you in an annoyed manner.

10. Get a group of mga kaibigan to walk into a theater as a crowd of zombies. Limp and moan your way to your seats.

11. Go to the front where you buy the tickets. Order tickets for 3 different pelikula that all start at the same time. When the ticket seller asks you about this, walk out and don't come back.

12. Wear a really tall hat and sit in front of someone. When they ask you to take it off, take out a pair of scissors and start destroying the hat.

13. Wear and eyepatch and buy some popcorn. When your in the theater, ask everyone around you in a sinister voice(and a British accent) "Would you... would like some of my...my papkorn Sir or Madame?" Say the Sir or Madame part to everyone, even if you know if it's a man or woman.

14. Shout one word: FIRE!!! Then run.

15. Sit in the back and bring a water bottle. In the middle of the movie, say very loudly, "Damn, when is this movie gonna end? Gotta pee. Gotta pee!" Open the water bottle slightly and spray the people near you.

16. Wait until someone sits susunod to you. Wait a while, then pretend to fall asleep. Snore in an annoying way and drool as much as you can.

17. Get a cell phone and put the volume all the way up. Get the ringtone from the series 24 if possible. If you can't get that ringtone, get one that sounds very proffesional and serious. Have a friend call you during a quiet scene. Answer it loudly and say, "Damn it! They're here... right now? I knew this araw would come." Get up to leave and before you exit say, "Ladies and gentlemen, there's no need to be alarmed. Now I need you to listen to me. STAY IN THIS THEATER UNTIL I COME BACK." Then run out humming the Mission Impossible theme.

18. Near the end of the movie, say "Holy elevators Batman!" then run out.

19. Sit at the tuktok and block the projection with your hand.

20. After the movie ends, run to the bathroom and sit on the floor and cry. Whe people ask what's wrong, tell them that the movie scared you(works even better if it was a comedy or an animated film).
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posted by moodystuff449
I'M THINKING.... BUT NOTHING'S HAPPENING!

I'm not smiling at you, I'm just trying not to laugh. :)

I'm not lazy, I'm just happy doing nothing.

(*)Theres always a light at the end of a tunnel, just pray its not a train(*)

My imaginary friend thinks your crazy.

Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Be nice to your kids, they choose your nursing home.

Dont steal, the government hates competition.

Sarcasm is just one madami service I offer.

Ask me about microwaving Pusa for fun and profit.

Earn easy cash in your spare time sa pamamagitan ng blackmailing friends.

Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Those who live sa pamamagitan ng the sword get shot sa pamamagitan ng those who don't.

I pag-ibig cats... They taste just like chicken.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
posted by catgirl140
79 Things to do in an Elevator (Soooo funny)

1. Crack open your lalagyan or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the pader without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I...
continue reading...
CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with apoy at one end and a fool at the other!


MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master


LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either


CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied sa pamamagitan ng the number present


COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece


TEARS:
The hydraulic force sa pamamagitan ng which masculine will power is defeated sa pamamagitan ng feminine water-power!...
continue reading...
NOT sa pamamagitan ng ME~~~~~~♥♥♥

1. Don't tell us when you think other girls are hot.
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria's Secret models.
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. We think about you ALL the time.
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.
9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
10. We hate that you can eat all you...
continue reading...
posted by Shelly_McShelly
1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.

2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.

3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the pagkain comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.


4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.


5. Pay for a large order in pennies.


6. Drive in circles around the drive through, ording just one item of your order each time you pass the window. For added fun,...
continue reading...
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