I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if you do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.
Enjoy!
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6 Ways On How To Deal With pating Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
madami than 99% of pating attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if you are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that you can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person susunod to you with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as you spot a shark- furiously stab the person susunod to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as you can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every pating has a theme song. If you here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a pating has got you. At this late stage you are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the tabing-dagat do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Enjoy!
__________________________________________________
6 Ways On How To Deal With pating Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
madami than 99% of pating attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if you are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that you can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person susunod to you with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as you spot a shark- furiously stab the person susunod to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as you can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every pating has a theme song. If you here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a pating has got you. At this late stage you are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the tabing-dagat do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Justin
Selena
In the weekend’s least shocking development, Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry locked lips. Crazy, right?! (And sa pamamagitan ng crazy, I mean not crazy at all.)
Cyrus was pag-awit the Bangerz ballad “Adore You” at an L.A. konsiyerto when she climbed off the stage and summoned Perry, who was in the front row, to come lean in for a quick peck. Cyrus then backed up and squealed like she was surprised sa pamamagitan ng her own mischief, which, okay, was pretty adorable. And the whole thing was caught on video, because of course it was. But really, did everyone forget that Perry’s first hit was called “I Kissed a Girl“?
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Perry posted an after-shot of the halik on her Twitter with the caption, “I adore you @MileyCyrus.” No regrets, just love.
Cyrus was pag-awit the Bangerz ballad “Adore You” at an L.A. konsiyerto when she climbed off the stage and summoned Perry, who was in the front row, to come lean in for a quick peck. Cyrus then backed up and squealed like she was surprised sa pamamagitan ng her own mischief, which, okay, was pretty adorable. And the whole thing was caught on video, because of course it was. But really, did everyone forget that Perry’s first hit was called “I Kissed a Girl“?
GET madami EW: Subscribe to the magazine for only 33¢ an issue!
Perry posted an after-shot of the halik on her Twitter with the caption, “I adore you @MileyCyrus.” No regrets, just love.
