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posted by TeamSongz4eva
**I got this from the internet again but i do not see why you would want to be offensive at a funeral..but anywho this reminds me of Death At A Funerla^^**



1.Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she have sex with you.

2.Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until you find your contact lens.

3.Punch the body and tell people he hit you first.

4.Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

5.Ask someont to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased.

6.At the cemetary, play taps on a kazoo.

7.Walk around telling people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.

8.Ask the widow to give you an enema.

9.Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

10.Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask him if he can sneak him into the coffin.

11.Place a hard boiled egg into the mouth of the deceased.

12.Slip a whoopee cushion under the widow.

13.Leave some phony dog mess on tuktok of the deceased.

14.Tell the widow that you have to leave early and ask if the will can be read before the funeral is over.

15.Urge the widow to give the deceased's wooden leg to someone poor who can't afford firewood.

16.Walk around telling people that the deceased didn't like them.

17.Use the deceased's tongue to lick a stamp.

18.Ask the widow for money which the deceased owes you.

19.Take up a collection to pay off the deceased's gambling debts.
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Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan.

If you consider it a sport to gather your pagkain sa pamamagitan ng drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all araw hoping that the pagkain will swim by, you might live in Michigan .

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each taon because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan .

If your local Dairy reyna is closed from November through April, you might live in Michigan .

If you instinctively walk like a ibong dagat for five months out of the year, you might live in Michigan .

If someone in a store offers...
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Okay,No need to be so rough on yourself!Because you know what?IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!Here are a few reasons that you must continue to smile,laugh and to the teenagers who want to kill themselves why to live.
1.You're individual!You're yourself!You're not afraid of being who you are and you should be proud of it,because not many people are like that!Most of them pretend to be someone who they're not and that often makes them feel worse than you.Seeing that you're happy and you're free to express yourself they get aggressive and they want to make you feel bad!I say:FUCK THEM!
2.If you're a little...
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You know you're a 'Furry Fan' when...
Rabies replaces cancer as your number one disease concern.
Your paborito character from bituin Trek is Lieutenant M'Ress (from the animated series).
You think "Beauty and the Beast" was spoiled sa pamamagitan ng Beast becoming human.
You replace Elle McPherson pinups with those of Amy the Squirrel, Erma Felna, or Minerva Mink.
You slip the word 'fur' into as many places as possible in your mail.
You can identify a captionless book illustration as being Doug Wingers' in under ten seconds.
None of your paborito female (or male) fiction characters are actually human.
You go...
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posted by breebree446
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
EMOTICONS
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

: ) happy face
:-) just kidding or happy
:-( depressed or frowning
(:-( extremely Sad
B-) cool or sunglasses
:-))) overweight
d:-) a baseball player
:-D laughing
:-P tongue sticking out
:-o surprised
8-o shocked
:-s confused
:- skeptical
:-)' drooling
:-)8 well dressed because of bow tie
8-) glasses
*<|:-) Santa
:-{} big mouth
=:-)= punk rocker with a goatee
:v) big nose
:-# braces
:^) broken nose
:-[#] eating
:<) Ivy League school
:-& tongue tied
:*) drunk
:-'] cold
[(:-)](:-( a toupee and it's windy
:-8 talking out of both...
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