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 Sweet pagkuha ng larawan tagahanga art sa pamamagitan ng me - KanonKyu
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Source: Sweet pagkuha ng larawan tagahanga art sa pamamagitan ng me - KanonKyu
Sweet pagkuha ng larawan tagahanga art sa pamamagitan ng me - KanonKyu
kasanayan ng tagahanga
litrato
kanonkyu
These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4....
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posted by ShadowProve13
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until you find your contact lens.

Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first.

Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased.

At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.

Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.

Ask the widow to give you a kiss.

Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin.

Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the...
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posted by The_Random_Guy
The three little pigs (edited version)

Once appon a time, There were three pigs named Dakota, Kelsey and Jessica. They had a problem... A lobo named Gibby was trying to kill them!
"Kelsey, Do you want to come with me to go find Jessica?" Dakota asks.
"Sure." ang sumagot Kelsey.
They walk outside and look in the forest only to see Jessica setting up traps for the wolf.
"Jessica, What the f*ck are you doing?" Asks Kelsey.
"What does it look like I'm doing...I'm putting up traps to see if I can catch Gibby." She says as she looks at Kelsey with an annoyed expression.
"Calm yourself..Damn!" Says Dakota as...
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I got really bored last night and decided to look these up. So...yeah. Some small roles are included.


Italy and Kid

Narrator and Liz

Greece and Spirit

Chibitalia and Yumi

America and Justin

England and Harvar

France and Giriko

Russia and the clowns

HRE and Jack the Ripper
Austria and Dr.Stein

Hungary and Medusa

Liechtenstein and Patty

Belarus and Tsubaki

Lithuania and Ox

Sweden and Mifune

Sealand and Crona

Rome and Eibon

......Yep. I'm most likely missing some, though.
posted by mehere
tuktok 24 eminem song (random order)




who knew

rock bottom

words are weapons

lighters

criminal

kill you

never 2 far

like toy solidiers

white america

cleanin' out my closet

my name is

till i collapse

when im gone

sing for the moment

the real slim shady

just dont give a fuck

lose yourself

the way i am

mockingbird

infinite

stan

not afraid

without me

just lose it

i hope you like this one better than the first one please leave a comment if u like od dont like it i want to hear your thoughts :P
100: CHEEECCKPOOOINT
99: Purple Monkey Dishwasher
98: mansanas pie... or Pumkin?
97: Sit on your pockets! (Well known teacher saying)
96: mom mom mom mom mommy mommy mommmy mommmy mommy luis luis luis luis mama mama mama mama WHAT? hi.
95: Lawl
94: Baby turtles
93: 9000!!!!
92: Da da di da did did do do di da did di do!
91: MY POKEMON BRING ALL THE NERDS TO THE YARD AND THERE LIKE YA WANNA TRADE CARDS? DAM RIGHT! I WANNA TRADE CARDS I WILL TARDE YOU, BUT NOT MY CHARIZARD!
90: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeck POINT!
89: 88, 87, 86, 85...
84: Online daters are desprete.... they rely on the internt!
83: mama I pooped
82: c'mon!...
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posted by amutokitty
What is Vocaloid? A voice synthesizer. A Toyota Corolla endorser. An amazing group of digitized singers that you can download right onto your computer. My paborito group of singers. From Vocaloids that are so well known that they become viral, like Hatsune Miku, to the ones that you almost never hear about, like Prima and Tonio, these singers have a wide variety of voice types, specialties, songs, and looks. I have been following Vocaloid ever since I heard little Hachune Miku sing her version of Ievan Polkka while swinging her leek, and since then I've acquired a vast knowledge of the amazing...
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"Hey guess what?" Lauren, my best friend, sinabi as we sat in the computer room of my house, looking at Katy Perry music videos. I looked over and answered, "What?". She pulled out a small card with a "BK" watermark on it.
"I got a $10 gift card to Burger King!" She exclaimed. "The jellybeans shall be praised!" I jumped up and immediately grabbed the keys of my car, a blue 2012 Ford mabangis na kabayo Shelby GT500.
"We need to go." I begged. Burger King was one of my all-time paborito fast pagkain restaurants. I had to go!
"Take out or dine-in?" Lauren asked, standing up. I thought for a second.
"Both!"...
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1.You abuse our pag-ibig you lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we pag-ibig him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our pag-ibig is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we pag-ibig be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape or form.
6.Guys you should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with you (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly pag-ibig we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When you (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
posted by nymph_tonks
Stranger: hi


You: hi asl


Stranger: 20 m


Stranger: u?


You: 15 female


Stranger: nice to meet you!


You: GO GO POWER RANGERS!


Stranger: yeah!


Stranger: what are you up to?


You: ther was this lady earlier who told me i shouldnt be on the internet at 15.


Stranger: lol


Stranger: and where should u be?


You: probably outside ithout any basura pagkain or soda


Stranger: fair enough


You: i would survive.


Stranger: do u like talking to strangers?


You: online, through text.


Stranger: where r u from?


Stranger: I am from UK btw


You: im from the us.


Stranger: nice


You: im bored


Stranger: oh...and I am italian


Stranger: we could do something...
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 HAHAHA
HAHAHA
HERE I AM AGIAN BUT THIS TIME WITH MY SIBLING...ya!!!so WE ARE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE TRAGIC STORY OF STALKERS...SO READ THIS listahan AND IF YOU DO ANYTHING ON THIS listahan SEE A DOCTER FAST..SO CALL 555-STLAKER HELP(THIS IS NOT REAL DO NOT CALL AND IF YOU DO I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU GETING INVOLVED WITH SOME DILEMA/PROBLEM)PLEASE DO NOT CALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!HERE ME DO NOT CALLL!!!

lIST BEGINS NOW:
1.DO YOU HAVE THE EURGE TO FALLOW PEOPLE AROUND(FRIENDS,GIRLFRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS OR WORSE STRANGERS)
2.DO YOU TEXT/CALL CERTIAN PEOPLE 23/7(AS YOU CAN SEE NOT 24/7 BUT 23/7 THAT WAY THEY HAVE 1HR TO RREST)
3.DO...
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posted by smileypop9
Found this on www.funny.com. I find a lot of things there that I post...


A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The araw came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied...
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Everything you can do with both a ruler and a compass,you can do with a compass alone.

The number symbol,#,is also known as an "octothorpe".

Cats sleep twice as much as people-up to 18 hours per day.

An ancient Greek vase from around 500 BC shows a boy playing with a yo-yo.

There are twice as many kangaroos in Australia (approx. 40 million)as there are people.

"Almost" is the longest common word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

Human thigh Buto are stronger than concrete.

In Alaska's Matanuska Vally,the long hours of sunlight have been used to grow giant vegetables...
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INTRO-
She sings the songs that she learns from
Jen and all the cool girls
She doesn't know what they mean
But she doesn't really have a care in the world

PRE-
She turn red then she turned redder
What was so funny?
They whispered fierce words about her
She fakes a smile
Pictures the snickers with laughture

CHORUS1-
I said,
Why do you always go on?
I got a grip on reality finally
But why should I hold on?
This is too hard for me.
They said;
Didn't your mama ever tell ya?
I thought she'd taught ya well but
You're livin life in a fantasy
Why'd you treat your life like a dream?

VS1-
She skipped over to the 4th pew
in...
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posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The dyoistik is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her madami attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green baya Packers?

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...
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haha I loved it...^.^ no offense to any blonde people around fanpop and around the world :D


Blonde Joke
the funniest blonde joke

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutos looking at the kahel juice box because it sinabi "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Colonel Sanders
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Milton Berle
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

George Gobal
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching telebisyon sa pamamagitan ng candlelight.

Groucho Marx
I find telebisyon very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the...
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So there has been a lot of new horror pelikula coming out and a lot of people doing dumb stuff in that movie.

So I'm gonna help you survive. you're welcome.

1. Don't take a trip to a secluded area.
-You could go to Vegas, New York, Paris so why the hell go into a damn desert.

2.Don't invite your boyfriend and the local village slut on the same trip. And don't get mad when they have sex.
-You knew she was a slut so don't get mad when it goes down

3.Don't run out of your hiding spot if the killer can't see you.
-He can't see you! He doesn't know where you are! Stay there and shut the hell up.

4.Don't...
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added by 3xZ
posted by Seanthehedgehog

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!

Naboo, one taon before the events of A New Hope.

In one section of the planet, it was littered with destroyed vehicles, ranging from tanks, speeder bikes, and even a few AT-ST's. Not far away, was a damaged Tie Fighter, susunod to an old Arc-170. The radio was still on in the 170.

Announcer: This is the Coruscant Broadcasting Service. Here is the news. In an isolated part of the planet, a group of Generals said, with Naboo falling into the hands of the Imperials, The Battle of Coruscant, is about to...
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