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posted by i_luv_Pelon_xxx
Its not finished yet but I'm gonna continue it...this is (will be) also avadable on my DA account
Iluvpelon14

Yay
One day, a little girl named kaluri was at the zoo. She loved monkeys, she loved throwing the chips for them, but mostly attrackted seagulls and other un-monkey like flying pests. She loved turtals too, untill one farted on her and turned her insane. Right now, she is sitting in a mental heatbox in a mental tahanan for mental hoes and can't stop shaking her head from side to side and moving it round it a bilog like some retarded freak. She also eats air, don't do drugs kids. This child...
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Historically, sweat has been an active ingredient in perfume and pag-ibig potions.g
In Bali, men believed a woman would fall in pag-ibig if her suitor fed her a certain kind of leaf incised with the image of a god who sported a very large penis.e
The Mexican chief Montezuma considered tsokolate a “love drug” and drank 50 cups of tsokolate a araw before visiting his harem of 600 women.a
Scientists suggest that most people will fall in pag-ibig approximately seven times before marriage.h
Some individuals who claim never to have felt romantic pag-ibig suffer from hypopituitarism, a rare disease that doesn’t...
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posted by LaurieLisa717
Aquarius January 20 -February 18

Your element: Air

Your ruling planets: Uranus

Symbol: The Water Bearer

Your stone: Amethyst

Life Pursuit: To understand life's mysteries

Vibration: High frequency

Aquarian's Secret Desire: To be unique and original


Pisces February 19 -March 20

Your element: Water

Your ruling planets: Neptune

Symbol: The Fish

Your stone: Bloodstone

Life Pursuit: To avoid feeling alone and instead feel connected to others and the world at large

Vibration: Erratic Energy levels

Pisces Secret Desire: To live their dreams and turn fantasies into realities.


Aries March 21 -April 19

Your element:...
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This test is only for girls, so if you are a guy, buzz off!
This is a fun test you can chain mail to with any peeps or even family. Enjoy! (Won't work on fanpop or any other site, only used for emails)

P.S please say in comments what you think of it!


FRIEND I don't really know if this test is true or not but the sagot actually were the same as my personality Well, all i have to say to you people is, try the test it's actually kinda fun!! 
 
AND GIRLFRIEND TEST 
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




This is no joke. It works (from experience). 

DO NOT just alisin this. DO...
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This is my tuktok 14 fave sayings and mga panipi :) Enjoy xx

14. You got to swim out of your comfort zone to catch the wave thats going to change your life -Unknown
13.Sometimes your knight in shining armour, is just an idiot wrapped in tin foil -Unknown
12."God heals and the doctors takes the fee" -Unknown
11.Ever notice that "what the hell" is always the right decision -Marilyn Monroe
10.Remember the days when lumboy and mansanas where just prutas -Unknown
9.When guys get jealous, its kinda cute. When girls get jealous, World War 3 is about to start -Unknown
8.You know youre in pag-ibig when you cant fall...
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posted by IloveMyLord
"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only sa pamamagitan ng this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

"My mga kaibigan are my estate."
- Emily Dickinson

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"A friend is one who walks in when others walk out"
-Walter Winchell

"A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else."
- Len Wein - Sent sa pamamagitan ng Paulo Louro

"A friend is someone who knows the...
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posted by Wendy99
LITTLE TONY FROM BROOKLYN ON MATH

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a tanong for YOU."

"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The segundo is gobbling down the tuktok and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the tuktok of the ice cream....
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posted by SymmaGirl2
Yup. pamagat says it all. Let's start, shall we?

The Nawawala Hero...in my pants.
The Sum of all Fears...in my pants.
Green Eggs and Ham...in my pants.
Fairy School Dropout...in my pants.
Washington's Crossing...in my pants.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid...in my pants.
Lock and Key...in my pants.
Merciless...in my pants.
Citizen Soldiers...in my pants.
Joy of Cooking...in my pants.
Emotional Intellegence...in my pants.
Good to Great...in my pants.
Twenty Wishes...in my pants.
Finally...in my pants.
Cross My puso and Hope to Spy...in my pants.
I'd Tell You I pag-ibig You, but then I'd Have to Kill You...in my pants.
Hannibal...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I found this artikulo on the internet.

1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the kama holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors sa pamamagitan ng your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards,...
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posted by Thecharliejay
Act like a spy / secret agent for the day
Act like you just met your friend for the first time
Act profound
Ad lib
Add some strawberries to your ice cream
Adopt strange mannerisms
Alphabetize the pagkain in your fridge
Announce your candidacy for President.
Annoy total strangers
Apply for a unicorn hunting license
Appreciate everything
Archive the Internet to 3.5" floppy disks (low density of course)
Arrest yourself
Ask a tanong nobody can answer
Ask embarrassing questions
Ask for seconds
Ask people how to pronounce their name
Ask people if they want to see your “belly button treasure”
Ask...
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posted by pollydbookworm
*4 Boy friends*
>
> Once upon a time, there was this girl who had four
> boyfriends.
>
> She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adored him with
> rich robes and
> treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him
> nothing but the best.
>
> She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always
> ipinapakita him off
> to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one
> araw he would leave
> her for another.
>
> She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and
> was always kind,
> considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced...
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474 Things To Do When You're Bored


- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a kama of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your unan X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of...
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posted by xoPixie-Popxo
If you've never laid your eyes on these shows, YOU'RE DOING YOURSELF A FAVOR! Oh and feel free to add your own reasons sa pamamagitan ng commenting below! I may include some of your ideas in this artikulo and I'll make sure to add your username! :D (Oh God I sound like an annoying advertisement.)
(Sorry for the long reasons!)

From Cartoonnetwork:

The Problem Solverz
-Poor animation. It looks like it's been drawn sa pamamagitan ng a 7 taon old's foot with the lights out.
-I cannot understand ANYTHING that they're saying.
-What exactly is that brown guy? A block of poop?
(I would listahan madami reasons but I only saw the ipakita for 2 seconds...
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posted by GreenerPastures
These are some reasons why I abso-flipping-lutely pag-ibig my smashing country Kenya:
1-Its where the President of the sovereign United States of America traces his roots,albeit a little too far off.
2- Its the only place you can hear phrases like:"Omera,yawa, who do you think you are messing with? Don't you know that my brother has a friend who wipes the office of a man who makes long-distance calls to the friend of a man who works with the president of the FBI who talks face-to-face with Obama, therefore I have American blood flowing in my veins?" Yet the poor guy is as black as coal.
3-The glam...
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posted by dannylynn92
link

Childbirth is the segundo most painful thing in the world, right susunod to being burned alive.

You are madami likely to get struck sa pamamagitan ng lightning than to be attacked and killed sa pamamagitan ng a bear.

It is unlawful to sit on the floor anywhere in the US Capitol building. It is considered to be protesting.

The chicken is the closest living relative to the T-Rex.

Elephants are the only animal that have 4 knees. They also are the only animal that can't jump.

The United States has never Nawawala a war in which mules were used.

Vaccinations contain dead bacteria cells. The bacteria cells are inserted into your body so that...
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posted by Tamar20
1. WRITE EVERYTHING IN sombrero LOCK OVERUSE sombrero LOCK! WHEN YOU REALLY SHOULD WRITE SOMETHING IN ALL sombrero THOUGH, USE ALL LOWERCASE LETTERS!

2. Don't use any punctuation.

3. Purposely spell things wrong and then get really upset when people don't understand you.

4. Overuse the comma, for example: "today, I, really, had, a, bad, day."

5. Use Sticky sombrero Capitalize every other letter.

6. Forget the grammar And when someone asks you what you mean just repeat it the exact same way.

7. Capitalize each word This annoys some people very, very much.

8. Use absolutely no vowels.

9. Answer every thing they say...
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posted by karpach_14
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

When a man brings his wife bulaklak for no reason, there's a reason.
Molly McGee

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
Helen Rowland

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Unknown

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
posted by x-menobsessed26
Useful Hawaiian Phrases
On the Plane
My how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!


If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance
Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.


I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.


Only six dollars for a headset? Why thats only three dollars per ear!
Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no kala o kahi pepeiao!


Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name
E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe...
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posted by darina25
 here is the outfit
here is the outfit
This is ubjb's paglalarawan of the outfit me just plane blue jens sando thats usally black... and any comfortable clothing, i would like for my hair style a curly blond hair that is quite long... is that okay?? so i did it. i hope she likes it. it was an easy work because after i read the paglalarawan i knew straight away, what to draw. the jeans are dark, shoes simple and grey - they are supposed to go with the cardican- the cardican also grey with a hood. the cardican is covering a simple black t-shirt that for me bumagay the blond long curls. i thought there should not be any accesories needed because this is a "simple" outfit. i didn't want to make the outfit look over looked " looking a bit too much" so i hope u like u'r outfit ubjb. ( link )
posted by BlackSunshine
Something I got in an e-mail. Still pretty funny. Especially since I've done a few...

1. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open sa pamamagitan ng themselves.

2. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

3. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

4. Do Tai Chi exercises.

5. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

6. Meow occasionally....
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