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posted by The_Random_Guy
The three little pigs (edited version)

Once appon a time, There were three pigs named Dakota, Kelsey and Jessica. They had a problem... A lobo named Gibby was trying to kill them!
"Kelsey, Do you want to come with me to go find Jessica?" Dakota asks.
"Sure." ang sumagot Kelsey.
They walk outside and look in the forest only to see Jessica setting up traps for the wolf.
"Jessica, What the f*ck are you doing?" Asks Kelsey.
"What does it look like I'm doing...I'm putting up traps to see if I can catch Gibby." She says as she looks at Kelsey with an annoyed expression.
"Calm yourself..Damn!" Says Dakota as she looks at Jessica.
"I agree with Dakota." Adds Kelsey.
"Ok, ok..Anyway, what do you guys want?"
"We just wanted to make sure you were ok." Says Kelsey.
"I'm fine, just really bored so I decided to make some traps."

Immidately after Jessica finneshed her sentance, Gibby jumps out from behind a tree.
"Haha! Your traps wont work now because I know where they all are!" Says Gibby with a smart attitude.
Suddenly, Dakota hits Gibby in the head with a huge puno branch.
"Suck on that b*tch!"
Both Kelsey and Jessica are standing there just looking at Dakota.
"Damn..I didn't see that comeing." Says Jessica.
Gibby slowly gets up while rubbing his head.
"What the f*ck just happened?"

Kelsey grabs the branch from Dakota and starts beating Gibby with it.
"Die you son of a b*tch! Die!" Yells Kelsey.
"Wow.. Your a psycopathic b*tch!" Says Jessica.
"Yes, yes I am." Kelsey says while laughing.
They all stand there and wait for Gibby to wake up.
"Lets beat him with another stick!" Suggests Dakota.
"No, I have a better idea." Jessica says while smiling evily.
"What do you want to do then?" Asks Kelsey.

Jessica starts digging a hole and when she is done she tells Dakota to put Gibby in the hole.
"Ok, So instead of beating him with a stick you want to put him in a hole?" Asks Dakota.
"Hmmmm..... Yeah that's a stupid idea... Oh! I have another idea!" Exclaims Jessica.
"What is it?" Asks Kelsey.
Somehow with Jessica's magical pig powers, They all appear on tuktok of the Empire state building. Dakota looks down over the edge of the building.
"Holy sh*t! We're really far up!"
"Yeah yeah, Now shut up and help me." Says Jessica.
Dakota and Jessica ilipat Gibby onto the edge of the roof top.
"Ok, Now we just wait for him to wake up and we push him off." Says Jessica while smiling evily.
"Oh my god, Jessica you have some serious mental problems." Says Kelsey as she stares at Jessica.
"Well I figured since he's trying to kill us, We should kill him first." Says Jessica.
"Good point." Adds Dakota.
"Exactly." Says Jessica.
Five minutos later... Gibby wakes up and see's that he is on the edge of a building.
"Oh my f*cking god! Where the f*ck am I?!"
"We're on tuktok of the Empire state building." Says Jessica, Looking at him evily.
"Why are we uphere?" He asks with a scared tone.
Jessica pushes him off the edge and watches him fall to his death.
"That's why." She says while laughing.
Kelsey and Dakota slowly start to back away from their mentaly insane friend. Then Jessica quickly turns around and see's them leaving.
"Where do you think you're going?" She asks.
"You're f*cking crazy! We're done with this sh*t!" Yells Kelsey.
Jessica glares at Kelsey.
"Call me crazy..One madami time." Jessica says with an angry look.
"You...Are...A...F*cking...Crazy...B*tch!" Says Kelsey.
Dakota slips away while Kelsey and Jessica are argueing.
"That's it!" Jessica yells, pushing Kelsey off the building.
"Ahhhhhhhhh!"
Jessica looks down and laughs as Kelsey lands on a car. Then she turns around to see that Dakota was gone.
"Oh my f*cking god! Jessica has gone f*cking insane!" Yells Dakota while running away.
Jessica starts chasing Dakota but looses her.
"What the f*ck.. Where did she go?" Asks Jessica.
Jessica walks past a trash can and all of a sudden, Dakota stands up and beats Jessica with a pop-tart.
"Die you psyco b*tch!" Yells Dakota.
She stands there holding a bloody pop-tart and stares at Jessica's dead body.
"I hope you burn in hell..." Mutters Dakota.

The End...?
This story was created sa pamamagitan ng Dylan Carter.
Characters are Dakota Klesen, Kelsey Estes, Nick Curto (Gibby) and Jessica Carter
added by Yuuuuuuup
added by HeitsiTsegin
Source: Various
added by violoct
Source: fun
added by _Gloved1_
added by zombiestars
added by Tamar20
added by Darkshine
added by NomyCake
Source: AngelzFunnys.com
added by iFly_12
posted by Bluekait
Your butt is wide, well mine is too
Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you
The word is out, better treat me right
'Cause I'm the king of cellulite
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right

My zippers bust, my buckles break
I'm too much man for you to take
The pavement cracks when I fall down
I've got madami chins than Chinatown

Well, I've never used a phone booth
And I've never seen my toes
When I'm goin' to the movies
I take up seven rows

Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on
(Fat, fat, really, really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it
(Fat, fat, really, really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come...
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posted by Nein-Nein
Aokigahara (青木ヶ原?), also known as the Sea of Trees (樹海 Jukai?), is a 35-square-kilometre (14 sq mi) forest that lies at the northwest base of Mount Fuji in Japan.
The forest has a historic association with demons in Japanese mythology and is a popular place for suicides , The forest is a popular place for suicides, reportedly the most popular in Hapon and segundo in the world after San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge. Statistics vary, but what is documented is that during the period leading up to 1988, about 100 suicides occurred there every year.
In 2002, 78 bodies were found within...
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A comedic spin on pop culture Bampira and scary pelikula in general, tells the story of three teens who believe their new babysitter is a real bloodsucking creature of the night -- and it's now up to them to rid their sleepy little town of the menace.

I pag-ibig this show, and for the parent freaking out over it being "inappropriate" they have a time on Disney channel for kids it goes to noon. Shouldn't be that hard to avoid a ipakita that airs late, and its not obscene, and she wasn't "making out" with anyone It was a peck like everything else on Disney. Do yourself a favor and switch to Disney.

Anyway I pag-ibig this show! So no I guess its not only children that watch the Disney channel. I pag-ibig the characters. It's interesting and funny, I pag-ibig that its not a typical Disney comedy and I pag-ibig that there's no annoying laughter in the background! Anyway I recommend it :)
THIS IS NOT MINE. I got it from Tumblr. x)

The following is an actual tanong ibingiay on a unibersidad of Washington Chemistry mid-term:

The answer sa pamamagitan ng one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First,...
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O-
-heartbeats-
















OW!!!!!!!!!



Shake a chicka.

Ah

As they came into the voodoo
There was sound out...
Like a sheepdog.
He can make up your apartment.
He let the buck stay
On the carpet.
Sharon ate upon the table.
Makin' sushi... was a navel.
So she rented out the bedroom...
She was struck down...
By a centipede.

Annie are you walking?
So, Annie are you walking?
Are you walking Annie?
Annie are you walking?
So, Annie are you walking?
Are you walking?
Annie are you walking?
-screams- SO, ANNIE ARE YOU WALKING???!!!!
ARE YOU WALKING ANNIE??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dramatic choir:
Annie are you walking?
With your dentist
Are...
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I was scrolling across deviantART, and came across this HIGHLY shocking news that everyone needs to know about right now!

We all know about copyright infringement and the numerous laws preventing us from using copyrighted material. Some sites and companies take these things very seriously if you do not have permission from sinabi company. But there are sites and companies that's only ask that you give credit where credit is due. Thankfully like DA.

Now, over the past few days I have just been strolling thru the Internet, visiting some of my fav sites to chill on, and every site has been posting...
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posted by smileypop9
Million has 6 zeros
Billion has 9 zeros
Trillion has 12 zeros
Quadrillion has 15 zeros
Quintillion has 18 zeros
Sextillion has 21 zeros
Septillion has 24 zeros
Octillion has 27 zeros
Nonillion has 30 zeros
Decillion has 33 zeros
Undecillion has 36 zeros
Duodecillion has 39 zeros
Tredecillion has 42 zeros
Quattuordecillion has 45 zeros
Quindecillion has 48 zeros
Sexdecillion has 51 zeros
Septendecillion has 54 zeros
Octodecillion has 57 zeros
Novemdecillion has 60 zeros
Vigintillion has 63 zeros
Googol has 100 zeros.
Centillion has 303 zeros (except in Britain, where it has 600 zeros)
Googolplex has a googol of zeros
Gazillion has 86430 zeros
---------------------------
(CREATED sa pamamagitan ng RAE RI, NOT ME)

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.


Chuck Norris can alisin the Recycling Bin.


Ghosts are actually caused sa pamamagitan ng Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.


Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.


Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.


Chuck Norris once had a puso attack; his puso lost.


Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on; he turns the dark off.


The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.


Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.


When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters; not even a mirror is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries. (silvaze9)
INTRO-
She sings the songs that she learns from
Jen and all the cool girls
She doesn't know what they mean
But she doesn't really have a care in the world

PRE-
She turn red then she turned redder
What was so funny?
They whispered fierce words about her
She fakes a smile
Pictures the snickers with laughture

CHORUS1-
I said,
Why do you always go on?
I got a grip on reality finally
But why should I hold on?
This is too hard for me.
They said;
Didn't your mama ever tell ya?
I thought she'd taught ya well but
You're livin life in a fantasy
Why'd you treat your life like a dream?

VS1-
She skipped over to the 4th pew
in...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
If you tied buttered mag-ihaw to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What happens if you open it somewhere else?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something sa pamamagitan ng car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something sa pamamagitan ng ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little...
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