(I'm not going to lie, although I did have this series planned ages ago, Fanpop user QueenOfThePika inspired me to finally start it, so kudos to you! ^___^)

(Also, WARNING: SWEARING OUT THE WAZOO! VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED.)

Alright guys, you've heard me complain about terrible things in the past. Whether it be terrible fan-fictions, god-awful fan-bases, or even some of the worst video games ever made, those at least all had one thing in common.

THEY WEREN'T OUTRAGEOUSLY POPULAR.

Seriously, this song is EVERYWHERE, and it's downright insulting! And it's not just this song either, there's TONS of them!

Titanium, Soul Sister, Moves Like Jagger, Roar, THIS WORLD IS LITTERED WITH VERY POPULAR AND WELL RECEIVED SONGS THAT SUCK SO MUCH YOU WONDER HOW HUMANITY IS THE SAME SPECIES AS YOU!

And in this show, I am going to tear them all apart, one sa pamamagitan ng one....
Molecule sa pamamagitan ng molecule!
ATOM sa pamamagitan ng ATOM!

*Obligatory Spongebob Reference Sorry D;*

But without further ado, let's start this ipakita off sa pamamagitan ng slaughtering one of the worst songs out there.....

Train's Drive By.

(By the way, for the sake of me keeping my sanity, I won't talk about the video itself, just the lyrics and the way the song sounds.)

(What? It saves a ton of time. ;D)

"On the other side of a kalye I knew
Stood a girl that looked like you"

WHAT ARE THE ODDS.

"I guess that's déjà vu
But I thought this can't be true"

Alright dumb-ass, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT DEJA VU IS!? And we're just getting started.....

"Cause you moved to west LA
Or New York or Santa Fe
Or wherever to get away from me"

THIS CHICK IS AWESOME. :D

"Oh but that one night
Was madami than just right"

o-O Uh, never mind. Also, this is a perverted song.

YAY. >.<

"I didn't leave you 'cause I was all through
Oh I was overwhelmed and frankly scared as hell
Because I really fell for you"

HE DIDN'T EVEN DO THE RHYMING PART RIGHT! You're SUPPOSED to make the first sentence sound identical to the second, DUMBASS!

IT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT AND THROWS OFF THE AUDIENCE! >.<

Also, you're making guys sound like pathetic people who fall for walang tiyak na layunin girls all the time, STOP IT! >:(

"Oh I swear to you
I'll be there for you"

REALLY!? SERIOUSLY!? IT'S NOT RHYMING IF YOU USE THE SAME WORD TWICE IDIOT!!

Also, we get YET ANOTHER 'I pag-ibig you I'll be there for you I pag-ibig you' line.

IT'S CLICHE! Can't you come up with ANYTHING original!?

Yeah, you could argue it's sweet and romantic, BUT THAT ONE LINE HAS BEEN USED SO MANY TIMES IT'S NOWHERE NEAR FUNNY.

If you have to resort to using lines like that, you shouldn't even be making songs in the first place.

"This is not a drive by"

HOW ROMANTIC! FAST FOOD! :D

This guy is GENIUS! ^___^

Seriously though, what the f**k does that mean!? o-O

"Just a shy guy looking for a two-ply"

OH MY MOTHER F**KING GOD, THAT IS ONE OF THE WORST LYRICS I'VE EVER HEARD.

THIS GUY IS LOOKING FOR TOILET PAPER, HOW ROMANTIC.

I'm not even joking, that's the song guys. Look it up, I DIDN'T edit ANYTHING!!!!!

I guess toilet paper is pretty popular in romantic songs nowadays. :P

"Hefty bag to hold my love"

...

ARE YOU SERIOUS!? HEFTY BAG!? HEFTY BAG!?

WHAT THE F**K!??!!?!?

Wow, I'm sorry. I didn't know toilet paper and garbage bags were so romantic, sorry comments section. X___X

"When you ilipat me everything is groovy
They don't like it sue me"

This guy literally wants to be sued.

OKKAAAAAAYYY :DDDDDDDD

And now, ladies and gentlemen, THE WORST LYRIC OF ALL TIME......

"Mmm the way you do me"

:O

"Mmm the way you do me"

Could you possibly BE ANY madami OFFENSIVE!? OH MY GOD, THIS SONG F**KING SUCKS!

THIS IS IN THE SONG, I AM NOT LYING TO YOU, PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE THIS BULLSHIT.

I'M NOT EVEN CENSORING WORDS ANYMORE, FUCK IT ALL!

I mean, hefty bag and two-ply were at LEAST funny, BUT THIS LINE...

"Mmm the way you do me"

YOU MOTHER FUCKING KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE TO RESORT TO USING LINES LIKE THAT, YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE ALLOWED TO BREATH.

That line is so offensive to women, WHAT THE HELL GUYS!?

OVER 10 MILLION VIEWS, THOUSANDS OF LIKES AND COMMENTS, HOW THE HELL CAN SOCIETY DO THIS TO ME!?

And it ISN'T one of those, "So bad it's funny" songs, it's just a terrible, rushed, and perverted song made sa pamamagitan ng a homeless guy in his attic masturbating to porn.

Train, go fuck yourself. You know, IF YOU AREN'T ALREADY.

"Oh I swear to you
I'll be there for you
This is not a drive by"

And he repeats his chorus line in the same one.....

Yep, this guy is a dumbass.

"On the upside of a downward spiral
My pag-ibig for you went viral"

WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. AS LONG AS I GET LAID, THEN WHO CARES!? :D:D:D

Seriously, die Train.

And yes, that's actually their band name.

Again, dumbass.

"And I loved you every mile you drove away
But now here you are again"

So what, this girl can teleport now?

I shouldn't be complaining, after hefty bag and two-ply, there's no way this song can get any worse. THE DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE.

"So let's skip the "how you been"
And get down to the "more than friends" at last"

That line just screams out, "I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU AND DON'T GIVE A S**T ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY OR ANYTHING ELSE AT ALL."

AGAIN, perverted stupid offensive selfish homeless gay mother fucking dumbass.

"Oh but that one night
Is still the highlight"

How many goddamn sex references are you going to put in this song?

IT'S OVER 9,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry, I just had to. The jokes write themselves in songs like these. ;D

"I didn't need you until I came to
And I was overwhelmed and frankly scared as hell
Because I really fell for you"

I wonder if he got the two-ply yet. :P

"Oh I swear to you
I'll be there for you
This is not a drive by"

FAST FOOD=SO ROMANTIC ;D

"Just a shy guy looking for a two-ply
Hefty bag to hold my love"

This fucking song man, this fucking song.....

IT'S TIME TO GET OUT THE NAPALM FLAMETHROWER.

"When you ilipat me everything is groovy
They don't like it sue me
Mmm the way you do me
Oh I swear to you
I'll be there for you
This is not a drive by"

5 THINGS WRONG WITH THE CHORUS LINE IN 5 SECONDS. ;D

1. Groovy? Seriously? This isn't the 60's anymore.
2. MMM THE WAY MY CHAINSAW GOES INTO YOUR HEART.
3. Again, fast pagkain apparently equals SO ROMANTIC ;D
4. "I pag-ibig you I'll protect you these lines are totally not cliche as hell"
5. Sue you, I thought you'd never ask! ^___^

Seriously, the chorus line can decay in hell.

"Please believe
That when I leave"

Yes, believe the psychotic guy who thinks fast food, toilet paper, and garbage bags are SO ROMANTIC! ;D

"There's nothing up my sleeve
But pag-ibig for you
And a little time to get my head together too"

Yeah, in JUVENILE DETENTION.

"On the other side of a kalye I knew
Stood a girl that looked like you
I guess that's déjà vu
But I thought this can't be true
'Cause"

Repeating the beginning of the song for no apparent reason whatsoever because WHY NOT!? ^___^

"Oh I swear to you
I'll be there for you
This is not a drive by"

I'll be there for you too. :)

sinabi NOBODY EVER.

"Just a shy guy looking for a two-ply"





I will never understand that line.

"Hefty bag to hold my love
When you ilipat me everything is groovy
They don't like it sue me"

Oh, how I wish I could.....

"Mmm the way you do me
Oh I swear to you
I'll be there for you
This is not a drive sa pamamagitan ng "

Darn it, I was hungry. D;

Seriously though, THIS SONG FUCKING SUCKS!

THE VIDEO IS BORING AS SHIT, THE LYRICS ARE OFFENSIVE AND STUPID AS ALL HELL, AND DEAR LORD THIS SONG IS JUST TERRIBLE.

The ONLY positive is that, admittingly, it's pretty catchy. :P

But that's just what a ton of terrible songs do. They lure you in with a catchy beat, hoping to fall for them, when in reality, the video and lyrics suck hardcore.

And you know what the funny thing is? This band made a rip-off of this song, AND IT WAS BETTER.

I'm not joking at all. Just listen to "50 Ways To Say Good-Bye." And then listen to the song I just reviewed, THEY'RE THE EXACT SAME THING!

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF A BAND RIPS OFF THEIR OWN SONG AND HAS IT ACTUALLY BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE!?

I would congratulate them for that, but the song still sucks ass.

And yes comments section, 50 Ways To Say Good-Bye was made after Drive By, and it was even made the EXACT SAME YEAR!

In conclusion, this is, in my opinion, the worst song ever made. The video is boring as shit, the beat although catchy, is pretty lackluster at times, and the lyrics, DEAR GOD the lyrics....

They're shit. And so is this song, case closed.

This is Jared signing out, and FUCK MY LIFE.