1)At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.
2)In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?
3)At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?
4)At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer mantikilya Masala" dish good?
Answer: No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit on it.
5)At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years.
Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6)When someone announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying well?
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7)When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question: uy have you had a haircut?
Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding.
8)At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: No it won't. It will just bleed.
AND FINALLY…….
9)When you get woken up at midnight sa pamamagitan ng a phone call...
Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. And you thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron.
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.
2)In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?
3)At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?
4)At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer mantikilya Masala" dish good?
Answer: No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit on it.
5)At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years.
Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6)When someone announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying well?
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7)When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question: uy have you had a haircut?
Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding.
8)At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: No it won't. It will just bleed.
AND FINALLY…….
9)When you get woken up at midnight sa pamamagitan ng a phone call...
Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. And you thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron.
Materials:
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, or pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids
Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum madami gloss!)
2.Microwave for 5 min or completely melted
3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting madami till you reach your desired shade.
4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.
Enjoy!!
Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, or pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids
Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum madami gloss!)
2.Microwave for 5 min or completely melted
3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting madami till you reach your desired shade.
4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.
Enjoy!!
Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
Okay, so I was sitting on the sopa last night watching some rubbish telebisyon ipakita and texting my boyfriend Liam. Anyway I think he'd had too much sugar that night cause he was all like 'I feel special when I wear my bahaghari colored raincoat' and stuff. So then he text and was like 'I pag-ibig you soooooo much' and so I was like 'I pag-ibig you more' and he was like 'NO!' and I was like Yes! and he was like 'No cause... cause... cause well I'm getting you a birthday present! And so I'm like 'I'm getting you one first' (cause his birthday is before mine) and then like ten minutos later he's like damn. And so I'm like 'I win'.
THE END
THE END
A little motavational poem I found link. Enjoy. ;P
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
The European Union recently expanded to include a total of 25 member states. Some people are concerned,however,that problems will arise with anemployment,and that high influx of immigrants from the former Eastern block countries will cause difficulties for the the other member states. What are the positive and negative consequences of including former Eastern block countries in the EU? Which do you think are greater,the advantages or disadvantages,for the newly expanded,25-member EU?
^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
THE BOYFRIEND GUIDE
1) She walks away from you mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes you or hits you *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to you first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her mga kaibigan house *prank call her*
THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes you *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets you wear his clothing *he likes you in his stuff*
7) If you are tired of waiting for him to make the first ilipat *make it yourself*
1) She walks away from you mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes you or hits you *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to you first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her mga kaibigan house *prank call her*
THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes you *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets you wear his clothing *he likes you in his stuff*
7) If you are tired of waiting for him to make the first ilipat *make it yourself*
So, it's been five years since you passed. I wanted to take a few minutos to remind people of how wonderful you were and how much you impacted my life. Honestly, even now, I miss talking to you. I miss your pag-ibig pagpaparangal on my pader and I miss just being able to talk to someone and being to say the things that I can't to anyone else.
Do you remember when you told me I was ten feet tall and bulletproof? It was almost amusing, but I remember just being pissed off at pumpkinqueen and wanting to throttle her. I also remember that you calmed me down and I took a step back and decided not to say anything too stupid.
I wish we'd had madami time to be mga kaibigan and hang out together. I really do. You were a wonderful and kind person, with plenty of smarts. And I appreciated every moment of being able to talk to you and have someone I could rely on when I needed it.
Thank you so much.
R.I.P BLW.
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Do you remember when you told me I was ten feet tall and bulletproof? It was almost amusing, but I remember just being pissed off at pumpkinqueen and wanting to throttle her. I also remember that you calmed me down and I took a step back and decided not to say anything too stupid.
I wish we'd had madami time to be mga kaibigan and hang out together. I really do. You were a wonderful and kind person, with plenty of smarts. And I appreciated every moment of being able to talk to you and have someone I could rely on when I needed it.
Thank you so much.
R.I.P BLW.
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