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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the mesa with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the gatas carton.

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WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a telebisyon set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out sa pamamagitan ng the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

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CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He sagot that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutos later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the co unter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ....... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the gatas carton!)

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WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

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WORDS

A husband read an artikulo to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000 .
The wife r eplied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

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CREATION

A man sinabi to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

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The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the susunod day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The susunod morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper sa pamamagitan ng the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
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God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece .


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added by Bratz4life
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added by 3xZ
Source: disneyscreencaps.com
added by Gretulee
added by x-Yumi-x3
posted by Gretute2772
1.Most putbol players run 7 miles in a game.
2.The only 2 mga hayop that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.
3.Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.
4.It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.
5.When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.
6.Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.
7.Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.
8.Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an...
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added by BlondLionEzel
Source: Google
added by WolfHeart23
Source: internet
added by fatoshleo
Source: @fatoshleo
added by Bananaaddict
posted by BellaCullen96
Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough tsokolate sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every tanong with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to...
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Okay so here's Part 2 :)

21.
Name: Keir O'Donnell (Actor)
From: Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Character: Veck
Attraction: Just everything - he's very beautiful



22.
Name: Tom Chambers (Actor)
From: Waterloo Road
Character: Max Tyler
Attraction: His lovely eyes

link

23.
Name: Jack maringal na aparador (Actor)
From: Pirates Of The Caribbean 1-3
Character: James Norrington
Attraction: His smile and actually just him in general - he's like a prince lol



24.
Name: Jonas Armstrong (Actor)
From: Robin Hood
Character: Robin Hood
Attraction: His cheeky smile and I like his accent too



25.
Name: Ed Westwick (Actor)
From:...
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1.    “I came all the way to school before I realized I still had my pyjamas on, and had to go tahanan and change”

2.    “When I got here my teacher wasn’t in the classroom so I went out looking for him/her”

3.    “I was abducted sa pamamagitan ng aliens for experimental purposes. I have been gone for 50 years, but fortunately in Earth time it was only (insert how late you are here)”

4.    “I invented a time machine that took me pasulong to my exam results. I saw that I got straight A’s, so I thought I might as well...
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added by Blaze1213IsBack