THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases:
apoy authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done sa pamamagitan ng a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.
A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the araw of the fire, the man went diving off
the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The apoy fighters, seeking to control
the apoy as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very
large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site
of the forest fire.
You guessed it. One minuto our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a apoy dip bucket
300 feet in the air.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
___________________________________________
Still think you're having a bad day?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio; his wife was nearby
in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally
slipped into gear. The man, still l holding onto the handlebars, was
dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.
His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut
and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for
an ambulansya and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went
down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to
her husband.
While the attendants were pagkarga her husband, the wife managed to
right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up
the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the
toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went
into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to
his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers
blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again
phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched. As the
paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulansya they asked
the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started
laughing so hard, one slipped. They dropped the stretcher and dumped
the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
____________________________________________
Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...
The average cost of rehabilitating a selyo after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved mga hayop were being released back into the wild amid
cheers and applause from onlookers. A minuto later, in full view, a
killer balyena ate them both.
_____________________________________________
Still think you are having a bad day?
A woman came tahanan to find her husband in the kusina shaking
frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his
waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the
deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm
in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his
walkman.
_______________________________________________
STILL think you’re having a bad day?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand
pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.
The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
___________________________________________
What?! STILL having a bad day?
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was
the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
There now, feeling better?
apoy authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done sa pamamagitan ng a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.
A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the araw of the fire, the man went diving off
the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The apoy fighters, seeking to control
the apoy as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very
large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site
of the forest fire.
You guessed it. One minuto our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a apoy dip bucket
300 feet in the air.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
___________________________________________
Still think you're having a bad day?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio; his wife was nearby
in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally
slipped into gear. The man, still l holding onto the handlebars, was
dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.
His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut
and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for
an ambulansya and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went
down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to
her husband.
While the attendants were pagkarga her husband, the wife managed to
right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up
the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the
toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went
into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to
his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers
blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again
phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched. As the
paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulansya they asked
the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started
laughing so hard, one slipped. They dropped the stretcher and dumped
the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
____________________________________________
Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...
The average cost of rehabilitating a selyo after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved mga hayop were being released back into the wild amid
cheers and applause from onlookers. A minuto later, in full view, a
killer balyena ate them both.
_____________________________________________
Still think you are having a bad day?
A woman came tahanan to find her husband in the kusina shaking
frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his
waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the
deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm
in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his
walkman.
_______________________________________________
STILL think you’re having a bad day?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand
pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.
The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
___________________________________________
What?! STILL having a bad day?
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was
the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
There now, feeling better?
from the internet :)
(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have Ke$ha babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds you of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his Barbie girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his tahanan adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he sagot he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have Ke$ha babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds you of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his Barbie girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his tahanan adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he sagot he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
1. read
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying walang tiyak na layunin things until u cry laughing
5. continue pagbaba this
6. Walk up to siblings and say walang tiyak na layunin things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on facebook and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on google look up ibon ng dyey leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add walang tiyak na layunin people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying walang tiyak na layunin things until u cry laughing
5. continue pagbaba this
6. Walk up to siblings and say walang tiyak na layunin things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on facebook and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on google look up ibon ng dyey leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add walang tiyak na layunin people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
okay, on my 5 completely walang tiyak na layunin things to do...
5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as you can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as you can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)
i recommend you try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as you can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as you can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)
i recommend you try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
The tuktok six reasons computers must be female:
6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as
"If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as
"If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
1.everyone around you has an attitude problem
2.your adding tsokolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything you say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive you crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and you just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to manuntok someone without a reason
12.if you start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if you were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give you 10
a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so you know*
2.your adding tsokolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything you say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive you crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and you just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to manuntok someone without a reason
12.if you start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if you were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give you 10
a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so you know*
